The World’s Way or God’s Way?

Purity for Today's Christian WomanWhen I look at my three grown children I see hints of both my husband and me. My daughters have Wayne’s dark eyes. My son Mark’s eyes are green like mine. Sometimes when Mark speaks he sounds exactly like his dad. And occasionally the girls move in a way that mirrors one of my mannerisms.

Physically we are all a mix of our parents – good traits and less desirable ones too.  But unfortunately, the character and behavior of believers are also often a mix.  In some ways we reflect our heavenly Father and sometimes we look just like the world.

This month at Do Not Depart we are focusing on sexual purity for today’s Christian woman. The gap continues to grow between the world’s sexual standards and God’s. If we truly desire to follow Jesus, we must dare to ask ourselves: “Are my values and behavior in the area of purity being shaped by God or the world?”

God commands us to turn away from the world’s values and standards and instead be shaped by His thinking. His character. His ways.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2, NLT

Sadly, many of us are shaped more by the world than we even realize. We live in a culture that is saturated with sex, sexual overtones, and sexual undertones. It is pervasive. Our society has “lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more” (Ephesians 4:19).

But God calls us to “put off” that way of life, “which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires,” and to be “made new in the attitude of our minds” and to live a holy life (Ephesians 4:20-24).

Today, let’s lay the world’s standards alongside God’s and see where we stand. The table below compares God’s truth with the world’s viewpoint on a number of sexual issues. As you review it, ask God to show you whether He or the world most shapes your attitude and behavior.

Sex Before Marriage At the worst: Anytime, anyone. At the best: Okay if you’re “in love” God created sex. But He designed it to be for one man and one woman within the context of a marriage relationship. Genesis 1:27-28, 2:20-25;Matt 19:4-9
Adultery Still frowned upon in some circles, but easily justified – loveless marriage, marriage problems, etc. The principle above also applies to the married man and woman. Sex should be reserved for the married couple. Exodus 20:14;Matt 15:16-20, 19:4-9; 1 Tim 1:8-10
Pornography –Defined as “obscene writings, drawings, photographs, etc.” Not only has our culture increasingly accepted pornography, our culture’s definition of what is “obscene” has also changed. So much so, Christian women read books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” without hesitation. Reading & viewing sexually graphic material fosters sexual desire & even creates a physical response. Since Jesus said lusting after a woman is the same as the physical act of adultery, we must guard our hearts & minds from anything that causes this kind of reaction. Matt 5:27-30Phil 4:8
Personal Appearance Women dress to be sexually desirable. Even clothing for young girls reflects this. Edgy, sexy, flirtatious is the goal. God is the author of beauty. But our culture has replaced beauty with “sexy.” Christian women must be careful not to cause anyone to stumble by the way we dress. Our conduct in every area must be for the glory of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4;1 Cor 8:9;1 Cor 10:31-33
General Role of Sex We live in a hyper-sexualized culture. Sex pervades every area of our society. Advertisers know that “sex sells.” We give condoms to middle-schoolers and “Teen Moms” grace the cover of supermarket tabloids. God created sex as good, enjoyable, & productive. But He also created limits. Our limits are to be one man with one woman inside the bounds of marriage. Sin has warped it and made it vulgar. Eph 4:17-24























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What’s the verdict? Did you discover any areas that need to be transformed by God’s truth? Which areas do you think Christians struggle with most?

By Faith Moses Lived for Eternity

Moses Hebrews 11

A furniture store commercial caught my attention the other day. Not because I need furniture, but because of the push they made at the end to get people to come into the store. It went something like this:

Buy now and pay nothing for 60 months!

Okay. I see at least two things wrong with this. One, if you don’t pay anything for 60 months, you haven’t purchased anything. You’re merely putting someone else’s furniture in your house. Two, Anybody who can’t make a payment on a couch for five years probably shouldn’t be buying it to begin with. (I realize there may be a few odd exceptions and my husband and I have used credit before. But let’s roll with the illustration.)

This commercial is an example of the “live for the moment, instant gratification” attitude our culture fosters. And it’s so easy to conform, because our human nature likes to live for the here and now. To gratify all our desires immediately and to live the easy path of least resistance.

Moses Hebrews 11But people of faith are called to swim against that cultural tide. In the eleventh chapter of Hebrews, these great heroes of our faith showed us how to live with our eyes on eternity instead of on today. Moses really stands out as an example of living with an eternal attitude.

By the world’s standards, Moses had it all. As the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, he had money, power, and status. He could have lived his entire life in lavish luxury and comfort, being waited on hand and foot by countless servants. But he turned away from it all to embrace something with far greater eternal value. Here’s how Hebrews 11:24-27 puts it:

24 It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward. 27 It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.

Moses purposefully chose eternal reward and his relationship with God and God’s people over the “pleasures” of the world. Suffering for Christ was of more value to him than all the “treasures of Egypt.” Because Moses kept his eyes on the “One who is invisible,” he was able to keep the lure of the present in perspective. He lived by faith and for eternity.

Moses and the other members of the Hall of faith were not perfect people. For instance, Gideon hesitated to obey and both Samson and David allowed lust to lead them astray. But Hebrews 11:13-16 tells us all of them had a faith stronger than death because they lived this life with eternity in mind. Here are a few characteristics of their “eternally-minded” faith:

  • Looked beyond this physical life to the complete fulfillment of God’s promises
  • Had a deep trust in God no matter the physical circumstances
  • Spent their earthly life investing in their eternal future
  • Remembered their true home was with God

God created us for eternity; His purposes are eternal. Living with eternity in mind will greatly impact our here and now. For instance, an eternal perspective will help us keep life’s trials in perspective, welcome God’s refinement, and teach us to depend on Him. Like Moses, we will “live by faith” with our eyes fixed on “Him who is invisible.”

How would embracing this kind of eternal focus impact a situation in your life right now?


“People of faith are called to swim against that cultural tide.” Discussing Moses’s faith at @DoNotDepart: #ByFaith – Click here to tweet this.

How Moses kept his eyes on the eternal to live #ByFaith: from @KathyHHoward at @DoNotDepart – Click here to tweet this.

Does Holiness Really Matter?


This post is also a giveaway! Please read to the end to find out how to enter.

Two years ago, “Fifty Shades of Grey” caught the attention of American women – including many Christian women. They gobbled up the erotica with a shrug and justifications like these:

  • It’s only fantasy.
  • I’m not participating; I’m just reading fiction.
  • I need to know how to speak to the culture.

Good and glory buttonMaybe you were even one of those women – one of many Christian women who bought into the lie that it’s no big deal.

It is a big deal. And this book is merely one example of believers conforming to the ways of the world instead of purposefully cooperating with the Holy Spirit to be transformed into the image of Christ (Romans 12:1-2). Rather than actively pursuing holiness, many of us in the church don’t live or look much different than our non-Christian neighbors.

Does it matter? Is holiness merely a pursuit for the “super spiritual” or should holiness be a concern for every believer?

Before we turn to Scripture, let’s consider the impact of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Studies prove that what we put into our minds – read, see, hear – affects our thinking and fosters a change in behavior. Reading detailed, warped, and sinful descriptions of sexual acts desensitizes us to sexual immorality and harms our marriage relationships.

God’s call to holiness is for our good and His glory. He created us. He knows which attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts benefit us. He also knows which ones do not. He also wants His people to be a reflection of His character. To be a light in a dark world that leads the way to the Savior. But far too often we hang in the shadows ourselves.

This month at Do Not Depart, we will explore the biblical doctrine of holiness. Our call, what it is, what it looks like, how it benefits us, and more. Holiness really truly does matter – for your own life and for a world in darkness.

Have you given holiness much thought? Is it something you’ve actively pursued in your own life? Why or why not?

EmbracedbyHolinesslargeEnter to Win!!

This post is a giveaway. Comment on this post to enter to win one of three copies of Kathy’s new Bible study, Embraced by Holiness: The Path to God’s Daily Presence. This 6-week, in-depth study helps readers discover a deeper intimacy with God through a life of holiness. Embraced explores why believers should pursue holiness and guides readers through practical steps to pursuing a holy life. (Find out more about the study.) The contest closes at noon on Tuesday, June 10th!

UPDATE ON JUNE 11: The contest is closed. The winners are Yasmin, Brenda, and Lynn. Congratulations!!

Focus on Spiritual Gifts with a Wide-Angle Lens

Spiritual Gifts focus

When I take photos of people I like to get in close, to focus on the face, and cut out much of the surroundings. I’ve gotten some great portraits that way. However, focusing tightly on one subject loses the greater context. We can’t know where they were or what they were doing or if there was anyone else around.

Spiritual Gifts focus

The church treats spiritual gifts that way sometimes. For instance, we might focus on a single gift, its importance, or its function. Or, we might focus on an individual’s set of gifts, what she’s equipped to do or not do, or where she might fit in the church.

While this kind of focus can be helpful, we need to also view spiritual gifts with the wide-angle lens to keep them in the proper context. If we don’t, one or more of these problems, abuses, and limitations will likely pop up:

  • We might use our “gifts” or “lack of a gift” as justification to disobey God’s call to service or to a specific task.
  • We might limit what God wants to do through our life.
  • We might miss out on participating in an amazing work of God.
  • We might fall into pride over the manifestation of the Spirit in our lives.
  • We might unconsciously shift the glory God deserves to ourselves.

No one who loves Jesus wants to be out-of-focus when it comes to spiritual gifts. So, before the Do Not Depart team focuses in on specific gifts throughout the month, let’s take a step back, snap on the wide-angle lens, and view them in the larger context.

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, NLT

What is the Source of Spiritual Gifts?

The Holy Spirit is the sole source of spiritual gifts (1 Cor 12:4). Without the Holy Spirit, there are no spiritual gifts, only the physical talents and natural abilities God gifts to every human.

But, if you are in a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, then His Spirit resides within you (Romans 8:9-10). We don’t get a piece of Him. We get the whole kit and caboodle. The entire person of the Holy Spirit lives within believers, working through us to accomplish God’s purposes.

What are Spiritual Gifts?

According to the Bible, spiritual gifts are the way the Holy Spirit chooses to work through an individual to accomplish God’s purposes (1 Cor 12:6). The gifts are the way He reveals His presence in an individual life and uses them to serve the body of Christ (1 Cor 12:5,7).

Therefore, the gifts are the outflow of our relationship with the Holy Spirit. If our relationship is weak, the gifts will be weak. Whatever we’re “doing for God” will simply be in our own strength and power.

In the powerful little book, What’s So Spiritual About Your Gifts?, author Henry and Mel Blackaby elaborate on this truth:

“If we seek the gifts of the Spirit and not the Holy Spirit Himself, we’ll always focus on self. We must learn to understand that there are no gifts apart from an intimate relationship with the Spirit… If you do not walk in the Spirit, you do not have a spiritual gift. Apart from the Spirit, whatever “gifts” we display can only be our natural talents, drawing attention to self.”

What is the Purpose of Spiritual Gifts?

God gives individual believers gifts to be used for the good of the church. “Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good” (1 Cor 12:7). Not so we can look good or do something great for God or feel useful.

Patti said it so well in her introductory post:

“God does not give us gifts to puff us up, or to make us feel inferior. His purpose in giving spiritual gifts is for us to use them for His glory, and for the good of others. In selfless service using our God-given gifts, we love actively and show Jesus Christ in the world.”

As we each use the gifts God has given us, the members of the body will get what they need and we’ll grow into spiritual maturity together. As each one does her part, the body will be built up in love and increasingly reveal Jesus to the world. (See Ephesians 4:12-16.)

Who Has the Power?

Too often we limit what God may want to do through us because we’re focusing on the gifts instead of the Giver. Have you ever said “no” to God because He asked you to do something that fell outside the realm of your “gifting.”

Believer, the Source of the gifts resides within us! The power He exerts through us to accomplish God’s purposes is the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead! (See Ephesians 1:19-20.) Nothing God asks of us can ever fall outside the realm of His resurrection power!

Oh sweet believer, let’s focus on the Giver and not the gifts. When we do, we will be operating in His power, for His purposes. And He will get all the glory!

How could our understanding and use of spiritual gifts change when we use the wide-angle lens?


Especially in the Storm

Especially in the Storm - Do Not Depart

I heard it for the first time during a funeral for a godly mother of two young children. An 18-wheeler ran right over her suburban in heavy city highway traffic. An entire family forever changed in an instant.

It wasn’t just the words of “Praise You in the Storm” that impacted me. It was knowing that the family had picked the song. In the midst of overwhelming grief and life-altering circumstances they chose to praise God and stand on His truth no matter how things looked – or felt.

Here’s the chorus of the song by Casting Crowns (find the full lyrics here):

And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

storm buttonThe truth reflected in “Praise You in the Storm” is very biblical, though it doesn’t come naturally – or easy – for many of us. When circumstances are dire, when the way is difficult, and even the future looks dark, we can praise God. We can stand firm on the truth of Who God is, even when our emotions tell us He doesn’t care or He has forgotten us.

God lovingly highlighted this truth for me a couple of years ago when pain hit our own family. Believer, sometimes, on the darkest days, we must simply choose to believe that God is there and working for our good. When all we see is chaos and all we feel is hopelessness, we can cling to what we know to be true about God.

Along with the prophet Habakkuk we can declare:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains. Habakkuk 3:17-19, NLT

God is faithful and trustworthy all the time. Not just when everyone is healthy and there’s money in the bank. He is faithful and trustworthy in the midst of the storm. Especially in the storm.


“God is faithful and trustworthy all the time. Especially in the storm.” @DoNotDepart  Click to Tweet

“When all we see is chaos we can cling to what we know to be true about God.” @DoNotDepart Click to Tweet