If you’ve been married more than six months you know that marriage isn’t always easy.
In Ephesians 5:23-33 we’re told the Christian marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church – a beautiful example to the world of what true sacrificial love and oneness looks like. Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is equal to that of the world.
Some have the benefit of their parent’s godly example of a good, strong marriage, but most don’t. There is no How to Do This Marriage Right manual handed out when we say “I Do”. Even as I write this, I realize many of you may be in messy marriages. Perhaps you feel like you’re shriveling up in a dry and barren relationship or maybe you just know things could be better on the home front.
My prayer is that you’ll have a fresh understanding that our marriages are much more about our relationship with God than they are about our relationships with our husbands.
My prayer for those of you who are hurting and on the edge is that God will make a miracle out of your marriage.
I learned along time ago that I can’t fix my man – but I’m not accountable to God for him. I am, however, accountable for how I act and react in my marriage.
We may not be handed a marriage manual when we say, “I do” but we have the greatest guidebook available…the Word of God. So as we peruse through Proverbs, let’s commit to be doers of the Word and not hearers only regardless of what our husbands do or don’t do.
I promise you, sweet friend, it may not change your man (he has to work on his own issues) but it will certainly change you in the midst of your marriage and help you become the woman your marriage needs.
It’s interesting to note that Proverbs doesn’t give our men many words of wisdom about marriage. Perhaps that’s because with 1,000 women in the house, Solomon was wise enough to know that if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
But we do find two very important directives for every husband to live by:
• Love your wife well and be faithful to her (Proverbs 5:18, 6:28-29).
After all, that’s what the heart of every woman longs for – a man who will really love her ’til the end. When he really loves her, he’ll put her needs before his own; he’ll protect her and provide for her; he’ll try to understand the longings of her heart; he’ll even make those late-night trips to the store for Midol, ice cream and a movie – because when he loves her well… he loves her with his life. That’s what sacrificial love looks like.
Words of Wisdom for the Wife:
The best list of traits that should identify a Christian wife are found in the oh-so-intimidating verses of Proverbs 31:10-31.
• She’s a woman of strong character whom her husband can trust to do what is good and right for him and their family. Her man can trust her with his heart, his home and his finances (Proverbs 31:10-12).
• She’s a wise, diligent, hard-working woman who takes care of herself, her hubby and her household. She’s much too busy to be found sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching soap operas all day (Proverbs 31:13-19,21-22,24).
• She has a servant’s heart and ministers to the poor (Proverbs 31:20).
• She is a woman of dignity who is wise with her words and, much like a boy scout, is always prepared for the unexpected (Proverbs 31:25-27).
• Like a pillar, she upholds her husband and helps him become all he can be. In the process she garners the praise of her man and their children. Her own works sing her praises, as well (Proverbs 31:23,28).
• She understands that true beauty is found in a heart that fears the Lord. Her life comes from the overflow of her relationship with God (Proverbs 31:10).
More Words for the Wife from Proverbs:
• A good wife is a priceless treasure to her husband (Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 31:10).
• A prudent and understanding wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22, 19:14).
• An irritable, quarrelsome, critical and complaining wife can make a man wish he never said, “I do” (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24, 27:15).
Being the wife your man needs will make you the wife your marriage needs – and vice versa. It isn’t always easy. It’s a day by day diligent and intentional effort of the heart. But we work on being the wife our marriage needs because our marriage is to be an overflow of our relationship with God and a picture of Christ and the church.
As you read through the words of wisdom from Proverbs, did you see any areas you need to work on as a wife? Do you have any godly counsel you can share with other wives that would help them become the women their marriage needs?