Do Not Depart

Encouragement and Tools to Abide in God's Word

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Though I Sit in Darkness…

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I cried as I locked myself in the bathroom. I had just yelled at my kids. I had not stayed calm. I had failed.

It was an awful day.

I was getting over a bad cold and didn’t feel well. The weather wasn’t great, so the kids were trapped in the house. There had been fit after fit after fit, and school wasn’t getting done.

It was an awful, terrible day.

I fought with my husband that morning. My teen was in a super grumpy mood and not able to deal. And my kid with OCD was reacting to changes in plans exactly the way kids with OCD act when their plans fall apart–explosively.

It was an awful, horrible, terrible day–in a string of awful, horrible, terrible days.

I wasn’t able to be hopeful anymore. This mess of yuck was going to be how the rest of my life would go.  There would be no peace. There would be no relief. It would be chaos and awfulness until the end. I was a failure.

Life is Hard

I wish I could say the thoughts I wrote above are rare in my life, but the truth is I have several of these moments a month.

My life is hard. Homeschooling is hard. Actively choosing to parent in a way that is different than how you were parented is hard. Parenting kids with trauma histories is hard.

The circumstances of your life are probably different than mine, but I bet you could list them out and come to the same conclusion: your life is hard.

And when the hard gets too hard, it’s easy to believe the lies you tell yourself: I’m a failure. It will never get better. There is no hope.

You’ve fallen. You’re sitting in darkness.

Protecting Truth

Psalm 40:11 says, “May your love and your truth always protect me.”

When I memorized that psalm, I wondered over that verse eleven. I understood wanting God’s love to protect you. That made sense. But how does truth protect you? Gradually, as I studied the chapter, I realized God’s truth protects us in moments like this–when you’re believing the lies you tell yourself.

…I Will Rise

Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in the darkness, the Lord will be my light. Micah 7:8

Micah 7:8 shows the power of God’s truth to protect us when we are surrounded by darkness and failure.

I felt like a failure. I felt hopeless.

But the truth is–though I had fallen and not been the mom I wanted to be, I would rise. Though I sat in the darkness, believing the lies about hopelessness, the Lord would be my light.

I prayed and the Spirit gently showed me the truth. My darkness became light again.

The Lord shows what is true.

He is our hope.

He is our light.

Let Him shine in your darkness. Let his truth protect you.

Though you have fallen, you will rise. Though you sit in the darkness, the Lord will be your light.

Forever

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My daughter’s favorite word

Forever.

It’s my daughter’s favorite word.

We adopted her from foster care when she was six years old. During her years in foster care, she had moved around a lot, in and out of many homes, and had adults make promises to her but not keep them. Once, after a nightmare, I comforted her by telling her the story of how she joined our family. I said, “And now you’re here forever! Do you know what forever means?”

She said, sleepily, “Forever means staying.”

She was absolutely right. She would never have to leave, feeling rejected and alone, and go to a new family again. When we signed her adoption papers we promised to be her parents forever and to fully entitle her to what is deserved as our child.

Our adoption through Christ

“In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 1:5

As Christians, we have been adopted into God’s family as his children. And the promises God makes as our adoptive father are even more sure than the ones my husband and I made to our daughter. God cannot go back on his word. “My mouth has uttered in all integrity a word that will not be revoked.” Isaiah 45:23

There was no concept for adoption in the ancient Jewish culture. When a man died, his brother became the head of the household and life went on. No one was left destitute or in need of a family. So when Paul writes about adoption, he’s referring to the Roman custom. Roman parents actually had the option to disown their biological child for a number of reasons. The biological/parent child relationship of the Romans wasn’t always permanent or desired by the parent.

But for an adopted Roman child, the relationship was permanent. An adopted child could not be disowned, because the parents had freely chosen and desired that child. And more, the past of the adopted child was erased, their debts canceled, their former responsibilities gone. The child had a new identity, new rights and responsibilities. The adopted child also shared in all the father’s possessions.

Paul wanted his readers to understand the completely new position they were in as God’s children, no longer linked to their former ways of life. The debt of their sin was gone. They had new responsibilities as children of the King and were “co-heirs with Christ.” Romans 8:17.

Paul wanted his readers to understand the completely new position they were in as God’s children, no longer linked to their former ways of life. #UnwrappingChristmas

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The benefits apply to us

These are the same gifts we unwrap through our adoption into God’s family. We get the gift of a clean slate–our pasts are gone and we are new creations. We are given new responsibilities and roles. And the best part is, there is no need to exchange these gifts. They will never break or get lost or need updating.

What a blessing to be adopted into His family!

Forever.

Teaching In Relationship

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I don’t know if Susan and Cynthia ever met. They certainly could have. Both of these ladies were missionaries with the International Mission Board and overlapped in the years they served. But both of these ladies taught me and influenced my life–and not just in spiritual ways.

From Susan, I learned to eat yogurt after a stomach bug to replenish the good bacteria in your digestive system. She also introduced me to the joys of National Geographic and the idea of buying a present for yourself on your spouse’s birthday. (Don’t worry, he’d buy a present for himself on her birthday.)

Learning by Serving

I knew Susan from Camp Chaparral, a church camp in Texas where I worked in the summers during college. She was one of the administrators. I worked in the kitchens and on the support staff. It was hard work and often hot work too. Our mission was to provide the cleanest environment, serve the best tasting food, and meet all the challenges that arose so our campers could focus on what God wanted them to hear instead of focusing on how bad the food was or the gum stuck under their bunk, or the broken bench at the volleyball court.

As one summer was winding down, several of our staffers gathered around talking about things we had learned that season. Someone mentioned they had learned how to better work with other personalities. As the conversation went on, Susan summed up what we were saying, “The only person you can control is yourself.”

That really stuck with me and has shaped and molded my personality as a wife and mother. I can easily fall into thinking I must control my child’s behavior and that it will reflect poorly on me as a mother if they aren’t able to handle things. But I remind myself often the reality is the only person I can control is myself and how I respond to this child. That’s what my responsibility is. I can train the child later in a calmer moment, but I can only control myself.

At our goodbye banquet one summer, Susan told us she had been praying a verse for each of us all summer long. Then she gave us all a card with our verse written in it and her prayer for us over the summer. I felt so special Susan had done that and was touched by her card and its message. But I was also confused.  How did a person pray a verse? I was busy with college and becoming a Journeyman missionary myself, so I put it out of my mind.

Learning through Challenges

I met Cynthia on the mission field in Bolivia when I arrived to teach her daughter. Cynthia taught me a lot about life in South America–how to shop, how to use the transportation, and how to communicate. But I also learned from her about organization, patience, and the delights of a fan on generator nights.

Cynthia also prayed verses. She wrote them on index cards and placed them around her house to remind her to pray. Cynthia inserted the names of the people she was praying for into the verse.  Seeing that enabled me to finally understand how to pray a verse, so I now have index cards with verses on them that I use to pray for my family.  And when I go to youth camp, I always pick a verse to pray for the kids in my family group.  I put their names in and keep praying for them long after camp is over.

From Cynthia, I also learned about trusting God when things get hard. Our team had to leave our village under unplanned and unchosen circumstances. Cynthia and her family moved to two more countries before settling in Las Vegas to work with refugees. Through every move and every changed plan, I watched Cynthia trust the Lord more and lean on Him. I saw her focus on prayer, delve into the word, and rest in the peace of His presence.

That lesson helped me when my husband and I faced infertility, the pain of saying goodbye to foster children, and the chaos that years of trauma had caused in the lives of our adopted children. I remember what Cynthia did when she walked through hard things: I pray, dive into the word, and rest in the peace of His presence.

Learning in Relationship

Susan served on the mission field in eastern Europe. Cynthia served in South America. These two women of faith influenced my life and taught me valuable lessons. Titus says, “Older women…are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…” (Titus 2:3-4) I’m thankful for their lessons.

Who trained and taught you? Whose lessons are you thankful for?

The Faithful Example of Gladys Aylward

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The kids in my Mission Adventures class were riveted by the story I read. I couldn’t blame them! This missionary lady was about to walk–by herself–into a Chinese prison full of rioting prisoners armed with only prayer. It was crazy! She walked into a horrible scene. Blood was everywhere. Dead and dying men lay all around her. The really bizarre part of her story is that this missionary lady was a lowly housemaid, didn’t even finish her missionary course, and was almost too sick to even make it to China. But Gladys Aylward relied on the Lord more than herself and had a deep commitment to serving Him in China.

And then she was taken prisoner…

Gladys didn’t get discouraged.  She could have.  She was dismissed from missionary training school for not being able to learn Chinese well enough. She took a job as a housemaid in London, and her employer was an who had been to China and had many books on the country. He allowed Gladys to borrow them and she continued her education. Every week, she put a portion of her paycheck toward a ticket to China.

When she had finally paid enough to travel, her journey was anything but easy. Russia was at war, making it dangerous to travel through the country. Gladys couldn’t afford the expensive sea voyage around Africa, so she had to take the riskier train route through Europe into Asia. There came a point when the train couldn’t travel any further because of fighting on the tracks. Gladys had to walk back to the safety of the previous train station and nearly froze to death.

For a brief while, she was taken prisoner by the Russians who wanted to force her to work in a factory as a machinist. God provided an escape for her and she slipped out of Russia on a boat to Japan. Gladys didn’t get discouraged in any of this.  She kept looking for God’s plan.

How far did they walk?!

Gladys didn’t get overwhelmed. She once encountered a child seller. After exhausting all the possibilities of involving the authorities, Gladys bought the child herself. She named her Ninepence after the price she’d paid for her. Throughout her time in China, Gladys took in hundreds of children. She always had room for one more.

When the Japanese invaded China in 1938, there was trouble ahead. Bombs wiped out villages, leaving more orphans that Gladys gladly took in. When the area became more dangerous and the Japanese put a price on Gladys’ head, she and 94 children set out to walk more than 200 miles to the orphanage. I don’t even want to take ONE of my children into a store, and here’s Gladys with nearly 100 children trekking through war torn China.

She made her home there

Gladys didn’t waver or quit when things were challenging. When she first arrived in China, the missionary she was meant to work with, Mrs. Lawson, had assumed Gladys wasn’t coming–remember all the delays in Russia?–and had left the town they were to meet in. Mrs. Lawson had also never expected a London housemaid to ever save enough money to come to China. Gladys finally met up with her three weeks later after traveling by train, bus, and mule. She was surprised that Mrs. Lawson had a prickly temperament and wasn’t easy to get along with. But Gladys stuck it out.

Through all the turmoil and fighting in China, Gladys stayed. Even when she was personally wanted (in exchange for a reward of one hundred dollars), Gladys didn’t flee the country. She remained to encourage, cheer, and help her fellow Chinese friends and neighbors. She even became a Chinese citizen. When communism took over the country, and she was expelled, she didn’t return to the comforts of life in Great Britain. She stayed on in Taiwan with other Chinese expats and continued her work.  She died there, and beside her bed in a cradle was the newest orphan she’d taken in.

Follow the example of Gladys

Gladys Aylward didn’t get discouraged. She didn’t get overwhelmed, and she didn’t waver or quit. Can we say the same of our Christian life? We get discouraged when our prayers don’t seem to be answered. We get overwhelmed by the tasks of our day. We waver and quit when it just isn’t working. But we don’t have to.

The next time things get hard, may we remember the example of Gladys, who stayed true to the purpose God had put on her life until the end.

The next time things get hard, may we remember the example of Gladys Aylward, who stayed true to the purpose God had put on her life until the end. #GospelTrailblazers

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Ready to Depart

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For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ for that is far better. Philippians 1:21-23

My grandmother, Moma T, was ready to depart. In fact, when she awoke from a stroke, she asked, “Why am I still here? Why didn’t He take me to glory?” Moma T had lived a life of “fruitful labor” and seen her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren come to know her faithful Savior. Her body was worn and tired, and she was impatient with the delay keeping her from being with Him. When she did depart a few weeks later, it was a comfort for all of us to know she knew she would be with Christ–which was far better.

A Proper Understanding of Death

Paul also had a proper understanding of death.  This can be challenging for us to understand. We are earth-bound, somewhat selfish creatures who are focused on our own survival.  Death is portrayed as the worst outcome, the final end, the last resort.

Paul didn’t feel that way. He tells the Ephesian elders in Acts 20:24, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Paul’s only interest in being alive was in furthering the Kingdom.

As Paul was leaving to go to Jerusalem–a journey which a prophet had foretold would end in Paul’s arrest, Paul asks the weeping crowd, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus?” (Acts 21:13) Paul knew whatever the outcome of his trip, God would be glorified.

Paul instructed the Romans in verse 14:8, “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” Paul was unconcerned about his future as it related to his own safety and security.  He knew God’s will could not be circumvented.

Completely Christ’s

When I encountered statements like these from Paul as a young adult, I kind of thought, “Well, good for you, Paul.  We know you’re super holy, but we can’t all be that way.  Besides, it’s easier for you to be like that.  You didn’t have my dreams or hopes for the future or have a paper due next week.”

What I didn’t understand was that Paul’s focus was so different from mine.  Even though I was a Christ-follower, I was still distracted by earthly things. Paul was completely Christ’s. He was totally sold out to the Lord regardless of the situation.  If he was alive, great!  He still had more opportunities to serve. If he was dead, great! It was better to be with Christ anyway.

A Place of Peace

Paul could be in this place of peace about his death because he knew God would triumph. Accomplishing God’s purposes on earth didn’t depend on Paul–they have always and will only depend on God. Paul knew that he was–and that we are–just part of the story God is writing. Regardless of what happens to us, God will be victorious.

What keeps us from having this same understanding of death as Paul? What keeps us from being completely Christ’s? We’re so wrapped up in earthly security that we can’t rest in God’s security.  We think the outcomes depend on us instead of realizing God is always in control.

We’re so wrapped up in earthly security that we can’t rest in God’s security. We think the outcomes depend on us instead of realizing God is always in control. #HeartsTowardHeavenSeries

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How can you better walk this double life of being completely Christ’s but living here on earth?

Jerusalem: Jesus Celebrated Hanukkah?

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Jerusalem, the City of David, home to many of the stories about Jesus–staying behind to instruct the teachers, while his parents worried about Him, clearing the temple, His triumphant entry, celebrating Hanukkah.

Wait, what? Jesus celebrated Hanukkah?

Since Hanukkah isn’t mentioned in Exodus as one of the feasts the Israelites were to keep, it’s easy to not realize that Jesus actually celebrated it.  It’s mentioned in John 10:22-23, “At that time the Feast of Dedication took place at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was walking in the temple, in the colonnade of Solomon.” The meaning of the Hebrew word, Hanukkah, is “dedication.”

History of Hanukkah

Because Hanukkah’s origins happened in the Intertestamental time, its creation as a Jewish festival isn’t mentioned in the Bible. After Alexander the Great’s kingdom was divided among his generals, a new king came to rule over the region that included Judea. His regnal name was Antiochus IV, but he was also called Epiphanes, which means “the manifest god.” (Keep that detail in mind. We’ll be back for it in a bit.)

Antiochus had one goal that he was very passionate about: a unified kingdom.  He felt the separate cultures of the people he ruled kept them apart.  He decided to force them to adopt the Greek culture. His plans were struggling in Judea, however.  The Jewish people did not want to give up their own practices for Greek ones.

Antiochus believed that the Jewish religion was the cause of their hesitancy to act like good Greek citizens, so he abolished the practice of Judaism. Jews who kept the Sabbath, owned scriptures, or circumcised their babies were executed. He also put ritual prostitutes in the Temple.

After Antiochus marched on Jerusalem in 167 BC and sacrificed a pig to Zeus on the altar, the Jews had had enough.  Many joined Mattathias and his sons in their rebellion against the king. Three years later, Mattathias’s son, Judah Maccabee, and the other rebels defeated Antiochus and began to restore and rededicate the temple.

The Menorah, which is mentioned in Exodus (25:31-40) when Moses is prescribing the articles needed for the tabernacle, wasn’t burning anymore.  The flame on this seven-branched lamp was supposed to never go out–a symbol of God’s undying and eternal nature. Worse, the Greeks had defiled almost all of the sacred oil used to light it.

One small vial–enough for a day–was all that remained. It would take eight more days to prepare more consecrated oil.  Rather than wait to light the Menorah again, the rebels decided to light it immediately. Miraculously, it burned for the entire eight days! And that is why Hannukah is celebrated–to remember God kept His promises, saved His people, and worked a great miracle.

When Jesus Celebrated Hanukkah

The verses mentioning Jesus as the Feast of Dedication are brief and likely there to explain why he was in the colonnade of Solomon–because it was winter: cold and rainy for Jerusalem. But it was while He was there for that festival that the Jews surrounded him and demanded to know “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.”  (John 10:24)

Since they had been celebrating Hanukkah and remembering how God delivered them from Antiochus IV, maybe they were hoping Jesus would declare himself and start a rebellion against Rome.

Jesus answered, “I and the Father are one.”  The Jews had a strong reaction to that; they picked up stones to kill Him. Jesus escapes, but the people of his time missed an amazing connection by rejecting His divinity.

At the Feast of Dedication, celebrated to commemorate the defeat of the one who claimed to be “the manifest god,” Jesus openly declared that He is the true Manifest God. He is that eternal light of the world, burning brightly.

At the Feast of Dedication, celebrated to commemorate the defeat of the one who claimed to be “the manifest god,” Jesus openly declared that He is the true Manifest God. #WhereJesusWalked

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The Jews may have rejected Jesus because he wasn’t the kind of Messiah they were looking for–a warrior who would restore the earthly kingdom of Israel. They trusted in their own knowledge and vision for the Messiah. They thought they knew better.

How often do we do that? How often do we rely on our own independence and wisdom instead of seeking Him?

Where can you trust Him more?

 

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