When I want what you have but God didn’t intend it for me, it will fall flat. Like Dagon. We’re connecting our stories with Old Testament stories this month.
I’ll Have What They’re Having, Please
She was born this January.
As typical grandparents, we were thrilled to get out first grandchild. As expected, she was beautiful and sweet and the best thing ever.
But the problem was location.
When I was younger and raising my own small children, my parents lived down the road. Even though I was a stay-at-home mom, if I had a dentist appointment or a dinner date with my husband, I could drop the girls off at my parents’ house at a moment’s notice. And because they lived so close, my parents came to our girls’ school functions and saw them often, along with their other grandchildren who all lived nearby.
I dreamed for the same proximity with my own grandchildren. It’s what I see with my brother and his grandchildren who live in the same town. It’s also true for my sister and her first grandchild born last year.
I want what they have.
But that’s not my reality.
Bring Me the Box
It reminds me of this story from the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel (read the whole thing in 1 Samuel 4-6; it’s a crazy story!).
It was a time of war between the Israelites and the Philistines. The Philistines were dominating. After the Philistines killed 4,000 Israelites in battle, the Israelites brought in their secret weapon: the ark of the covenant.
The ark was a portable sacred chest, the Israelites most prized possession. It was covered in gold. It contained a copy of the Ten Commandments and a sample of manna. Its lid was the Mercy Seat.
This holy box signified the very presence of God. It was their protective talisman.
The Philistines knew this about the ark, too. When they saw it coming, they were thrown into a panic. But instead of the ark’s presence bringing them bad luck, the Philistines continued to win. In addition to killing 30,000 Israelites, they also stole the ark of the covenant for themselves.
They wanted something that was not theirs. They thought they could grab God’s promise for someone else and make it their own.
But God and His promises don’t work that way.
The details God plans for one person are not the same as He plans for another.
What God planned for my siblings—to have their grandchildren live close by—is not the plan He is working in my life.
Dagon Falls Down
Here’s what happened next to the ark.
The Philistines returned home. They placed the ark in their own sacred temple, at the feet of their own god, Dagon, the pagan deity of corn and the father of the god Baal. Dagon was half-man, half-fish.
But surprise!
The next morning, the people walked into the temple to discover Dagon on the ground. Dagon now lay at the foot of the ark.
They propped Dagon back up, only to discover him bowing in the same position again the next morning. Dagon’s head and hands were broken off, again at the foot of the ark.
What could this mean? Bad news followed more bad news. The Philistines became stricken with tumors. Rats began to overtake their city. Fear ensued.
They no longer wanted someone else’s treasure.
They passed off the ark to other Philistines in the city of Gath. But again, tumors came. People died. They moved the ark to another city, Ekron. But the same thing happened to them.
After seven months, the religious leaders held a meeting. How can we get rid of this ark? It’s not good for us. It brings no blessings to our people.
They decided to send it back to the Israelites, along with a gift of five golden rats and five golden tumors. (Yes, this story gets better and better; read the remainder yourself.)
A Lesson for Us?
God puts individual gifts in each of our lives. These gifts are personally designed uniquely for us.
When we want other people’s gifts for ourselves instead, those gifts will fall flat, just like the imitation god Dagon fell flat at the foot of the ark.
- What God intends for others is for their good.
- What God intends for you is for your good.
- Be content with your own treasures.
That’s what I’m learning with my granddaughter.
While she doesn’t live in my hometown like I’d prefer, she’s only three hours away. (I’ve learned to say “only” because many grandparents live across the world from their grandchildren.)
Maybe I’ll be better as a 3-hour away grandmother than I would be as a 3-mile away grandmother. Maybe I’d be too smothering or intrusive if she lived closer. Maybe, maybe there are reasons I can’t understand.
I don’t have to know details. I only have to trust God.
Three hours is close enough for me to drive down often. My daughter and son-in-law invite me frequently for overnight visits. So far, I’ve likely totaled more hours with our grandbaby living at a distance than I might have spent if she lived next door.
Our relationship may not look like the one my own children had with their nearby grandparents. Or that my siblings have with their grandchildren.
But that’s okay. I don’t need to idolize the plan God has for their lives. I don’t need to wish it were my own.
I want instead to be grateful for the grace God keeps giving me (which includes a dependable vehicle, money for gas, and available time).
May we each worship God in the life He’s put before us, not in a dream He has for someone else.
Whether or not these plans look like we imagined, we can trust God to be in them with us.
His presence is the holy thing we need.
When have you wanted what someone else has? What happened? Please share in the comments.
(P. S. If you’re a long-distance grandparent, please share any tips you have! I love hearing your ideas.)
Great applications to life today from the 1 Samuel story!
It’s such an amazing story. It’s one of my favorites from the Old Testament. (A close runner-up is Elijah and the false prophets of Baal in a contest of fire, 1 King 18.)
Yep, I’ve been a long distance grandmama for 15 years. I sure do wish everyone lived next door.
Ah … maybe not?
;-}
How bout 15 minutes away? Yeah, I could do that. I miss them alot. But now the oldest ones are texting. And the chaotic, joy-filled times we share when all 12 of us are together leave me full and satiated and overflowing with gratitude.
And wishing for a nap.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Linda. I might not have the energy for right next door, but yes, 15 minutes would be wonderful. :) I know your family is blessed to have you.
I’ve always thought this was such an interesting Bible story, but I never applied it to wanting the promise and plan God has given to another for myself. But that is an excellent truth to draw from it.
We lived 1,000 miles away from my folks and 2,000 from my husband’s. I don’t know how they stood it. They didn’t complain (except for wishing to see us more), but I empathize with them more now. I am blessed to be about 10 minutes away from my grandson, and I don’t take that for granted. I know job situations can change and moves can be required. If my son who lives out of state marries, we’ll be away from any children they might have. But I try not to think about what might happen and just enjoy what I have today. I am so thankful for the technology we have today. Even though we see each other at least once a week, sometimes twice or more, we still send texts and photos and FaceTime in-between visits.
Yes, I have such a new appreciation, too, for grandparents who live so far away from their grandchildren (and parents from children!). How tough it must have been for your parents and in-laws. I’m glad you are so close to your sweet grandson, Barbara. You all seem to have such a wonderful relationship. What a blessing that you get to see each other as often as you do. And praise God for technology! My daughter texted me a picture just this morning of her little one that her m-i-l had just sent from her house. It made me smile, both the contents and how we can all share in the joy.
I just read this story last week! Thanks for sharing it in an applicable way!
Great timing, Bethany. This is one of those stories that is so fascinating once you really listen to it. Wish I could have seen it in person (but I wouldn’t want to have lived during those times! lol).
It certainly is easy to want what others have, isn’t it, Lisa? This is a great reminder to worship wherever we’re placed. Thank you. I’m glad you still can go visit your granddaughter often. :) Love and hugs to you!
It does seem to be our natural inclination, to want what someone else has. But it definitely isn’t what brings us the most lasting happiness. I’m glad God sees the bigger picture! Yes, I’m super grateful that I can still see my sweet little grandbaby often. It makes me happy. :) Thanks, Trudy!
Excellent point, Lisa. It’s so easy to want what others have, never stopping to ponder wise thoughts as you have. Trusting in the Ruler of all He created seems like the prudent choice after pondering it!
It’s crazy when we think about it: how can we possibly know what is best for us compared to what God knows? Nonetheless, we silly humans do it. Sounds like we need a rescue according to your favorite theme: humility. Humbling ourselves to trust that God knows best is always in our best interest. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here, Floyd.
Great way to apply this story to our own lives! I am blessed to be able to be with my grands often and I don’t take that for granted! But there are certainly other ways I’ve looked at someone else’s life and think I’d like mine to line up like that, but I don’t know the whole story. Maybe it only looks like it would be good but in actuality it wouldn’t work for me. I’m glad I can trust He wants the best for me. The world tells us differently!
“I’m glad I can trust He wants the best for me.” That makes you wise, Jerralea. I know you love your grands. They are blessed to see you often!
I absolutely love what you’ve done here. I know that story but hadn’t thought of it in this context before. Thank you for this! Great lessons.
Elisabeth Elliott defines suffering as “having what you don’t want, or wanting what you don’t have,” and I’ve always found that helpful. Not for pity-party purposes, but because when you admit that something is hard for you and constitutes a form of suffering, then you can lean into God and get his comfort, blessings, and redirection.
Thanks for the sharing the Elisabeth Elliott quote. So good! And so applicable here. We can’t always avoid pain, but sometimes we can avoid adding additional suffering on top of it by having a better attitude and leaning into God. I can slip too easily into self-pity so I appreciate your insights here, Susan.
Lisa, I absolutely love the way you intertwined your story with the story of Dagon’s. This touched my heart (as a mom of little ones with my parents just down the road), and this was solid Bible teaching! Wonderful combination!
Thanks, Stacey. I know you appreciate that blessing like I did of having your parents close by. It made my life easier and enriched my children’s lives as well. Even though I won’t be able to be there in that way for my daughter because of the miles between us, I am grateful that she lives near her m-i-l, who is a godly woman and already a seasoned grandmother. God is definitely watching over my granddaughter. :)
This is such a great lesson and application for that OT passage. And I love the way you mentioned our tendency to “idolize” the gifts others have received. Great post!
Idolizing other people’s gifts is one of our specialties, yes? :) Unfortunately. We’ve been wanting the fruit on that forbidden tree since the beginning. But thankfully we now know there is a better way. And grace for all the times we fail. Thanks for your encouragement, Michele.
I love when we can take stories from the Bible and apply them to our lives to find the real life lessons God is teaching us. Thanks so much for sharing this, Lisa. And happy visiting with your adorable grand-daughter. She’s precious and quite fortunate to have a grandma who’s led by God.
Blessings to you and your family!
Marva | SunSparkleShine
Thanks, Marva. We feel super blessed in our family to have this sweet fresh life added into the mix. Everyone told me there is nothing like it, and now I feel what they mean. :) And it gives us one more reason to stay on our knees in prayer.
My grandchildren are now long-distance, but the choice was mine to move. Until 9 months ago, I took my youngest granddaughter, now 13, on a date once a week. My oldest grandchildren, now 15 and 16, lived with me when they were in elementary school. Since all three are teens, texting and following them on Instagram helps keep us connected. This month I drove to see Zach and Katie get baptized. Next week, I go to see Robyn’s promotion from 8th grade. A friend of mine whose grandchildren live in another state, Skypes and does crafts with her grandkids over the internet. However you connect, I pray you will be greatly blessed.
Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate your specifics here! They are helpful. And it warms my heart, too. You’re definitely showing that we can stay engaged regardless of the distance, and that’s what I need to hear. God bless you, friend.
I have 2 daughters & 4 grandchildren who live 2 days travel away 1000km. But I have seen God work amazingly in their lives! Quality time is important & precious when together.
Jennifer
And that’s why I don’t need to complain. lol. 3 hours is an incredibly short distance compared to your distance. Thank you for the encouragement that God doesn’t mind the distance—he overcomes it all. Blessings to you, Jennifer!
Great post! It is easy to think others have it better. I have done this very thing on ocassion wishing I had good health like this one, that I was slim like that one, had the finances to do like another can etc… Truth is the grass is not always greener, and we often are not privy to the behind the scenes details. Sometimes there are others who think they would gladly trade places with us! I have learned, and continue to learn, to be content in who God has made me and where He has placed me. Do I have need and wants? Yes. But I make them known to God as He has instructed and make it a point not to worry or complain. I try to learn from good examples and be thankful for and with those who have been blessed. God knows more and can see farther that I ever could, so I have to trust His wisdom and plan for my life.
Enjoy your grandbaby :)
You give a lot of examples here that we can all relate to, Juanita. That greener grass lie is sneaky. You’re so right—we don’t usually see what’s behind the scenes. It’s about trusting God with our lives and our circumstances and letting him take care of everyone else. Blessings to you!
This story is Samuel is one of my favorites. And thanks for sharing about your sweet granddaughter! God has such unique ways of teaching us things, doesn’t He?
Yes, God is definitely unique in revealing Himself to us in ways that we need to see! We can never predict Him. :) Thanks, June.