Can our gifts hurt more than they help? How do we decide what to give and to whom?
Memorize and study Matthew 7:6 with us this week.
Extravagant Gift-Giving
Maria was about 10 years old. We had become friends the week we were in El Salvador.
On the Sunday morning our group was packing up to leave, Maria ran home to get something. She returned with a box. It contained a giraffe cup and saucer.
She handed it to me. It was a parting gift. I didn’t want to accept it. It was likely a prized possession.
Should I, the American woman from a wealthy country, take this present from the Salvadorian child who had much less to give?
What Did Jesus Mean?
When we read this week’s memory verse, we wonder what Jesus meant.
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”
Matthew 7:6
It can be taken two ways. Jesus might have been meant:
(1) Don’t give a valuable gift to the undeserving. They won’t take care of it.
But Jesus wouldn’t say some people are too worthless or undeserving of His love. He values everybody, wanting all to know Him and be saved.
Perhaps he meant this?
(2) Don’t push people into accepting what they’re not ready for. It won’t help them.
The difference is subtle. But the difference is real.
In Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard has a name for those who give pearls to pigs: “pearl pushers.”
Willard gives this illustration. Parents who push religion on kids often cause them to rebel. Trying to “manipulate or impress others into rightness and goodness with our condemning and our ‘pearls’ or holy things” can backfire.
They are pearl pushers.
Give Helpful Gifts
Sometimes people just aren’t ready yet for the gifts we try to give them. Our gifts wouldn’t be helpful at this point. It would like shoving pearls into pigs. Pigs can’t digest pearls.
Willard says,
“The point is not the waste of the ‘pearl’ but that the person given the pearl is not helped.”
We often want to give extravagantly. We can become overeager to share the good news with friends, ready or not. Or we want to give unsolicited advice that helped us.
But giving unwanted gifts can turn people against us. They become suspicious, wondering what we want in return. They don’t want to feel indebted to us, so they resent the gift. We lose their trust.
Just as teenagers don’t want our religion shoved down their throat, or butterflies don’t want their cocoons stripped off them too soon, our premature gifts or inappropriate gifts can be more harmful than helpful.
Instead, we can try to discern the recipient’s need and ability to receive our gift before we give it. Be judicious about pulling out our holy things. Get to know the person first before we shower them with pearls they won’t wear.
God does this with us. He sometimes waits to give us the right gift until we’re ready to use it properly. We’re not always ready for certain blessings because we’re too immature to handle them, just as we don’t give expensive jewelry to a toddler.
What Are Your Pearls?
When my young friend Maria tried to give me the cup and saucer, I first said no. I couldn’t take this! It was too much, too expensive from her.
But when I saw how much it meant to her, I couldn’t not take it. I received her gift, her pearls, as pearls, with excitement, and with love.
Perhaps the cup and saucer has come to mean even more to me than it could to her. For the past 9 years, I’ve kept it front and center on my bedroom shelf. It reminds me of unselfish giving. Of quick love. Of tender hearts.
I showed it recently to my 2-year-old granddaughter. She immediately wanted to play with it. I pulled it down from the shelf. She’s still too young to be given free rein with it, but we sat together with it on the carpet and examined it. I want her to understand it is special.
It’s one of my pearls.
What is a pearl you can give to someone this week? Who is ready to receive a holy thing from you and who is not?
This was such a helpful and freeing article. Too often I try pushing my holy pearls upon my adult children who are living an inactive life with the Lord who they once professed. And I am slowly learning to back off and love them as I wait upon God and trust Him with my pearls of prayer on their behalf.
That’s such a difficult thing to do. Whether big or small things, we still want to give our children the best we can offer them (and that includes our best advice!), but backing off and waiting on God is often the better thing. I love your “pearls of prayer” phrasing, Gina. Yes indeed! Thanks for sharing this.