Unwanted Gifts
In between the births of our 2nd and 3rd children, we switched churches. As my due date approached for our 3rd daughter, the ladies in my new small group I attended wanted to host a baby shower for me.
But I didn’t need a baby shower. I actually didn’t want another baby shower. I had all the baby things already. And I was still a relative newcomer; I didn’t want extra attention drawn to myself.
They kept insisting. I felt awkward. It seemed rude to keep declining their offer, yet it seemed worse to agree to gifts I didn’t need.
We’ve all received gifts we didn’t want. Maybe a sweater we’d never wear or a knick-knack we’d never set out or food we’d never eat.
I’ve given my share of useless gifts too.
But sometimes? Gifts are not only useless, they may be hurtful.
Actually, I was afraid to get another baby shower. Our 2nd baby had died right after birth. To receive a baby shower for this 3rd child felt too risky.
When Our Giving Hurts More Than Helps
Our giving hurts more than helps when we give unsolicited advice. Unwanted help. Critical suggestions. It’s what Jesus was saying in this week’s memory verses:
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3-4
What do our logs look like?
- When we offer to help but we have bad motives, we have a log in our eye.
- When we give to get something for ourselves in return, we have a log in our eye.
- When we criticize a friend to make ourselves feel better, we have a log in our eye.
We’d do well to take the psalmist’s advice first:
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
Psalm 139:23-24
Self-awareness isn’t the same as self-absorption. Self-awareness is part of being kind. It’s taking a look in the mirror to straighten ourselves up before we give offensive advice to others on how to clean themselves up.
A Better Gift
With better vision, we’re then able to give better gifts (such as, understanding, compassion, encouragement, prayer). We can actually be helpful if someone needs a hand getting a speck out of their eye instead of poking our dirty logs of condemnation and judgment into their tender eyes. We may even be asked to help more often as we grow and become blessings to others.
The ladies offering to give me a baby shower finally convinced me to say yes when they offered a time of celebration instead of a time of gift-giving. They blessed me with words of encouragement and camaraderie. I felt loved by their gift of prayer and presence.
I appreciated and needed those gifts.
Jesus wasn’t telling His listeners that day on the mountain to not help a brother out. But He was saying to check yourself first for logs and beams before you help others with specks and motes.
These verses that we are currently memorizing are HARD verses to absorb because the Holy Spirit brings conviction. Verses 1-2 were even hard to type because of that very reason. However, conviction and confession bring joy as God extends His grace and forgiveness. These two verses are no less coonvicting, I might add. But there is JOY as a result, and don’t we all love JOY?
Yes! Thanks for helping us keep pressing through until we get to JOY on the other side of conviction. These first few verses in Matthew 7 are indeed some very hard ones, but they lead us to better things if we allow the Lord to guide us through the rough terrain. Always appreciate your wisdom, Dianna.