Jealousy and the Marriage Metaphor

Jealousy is not a trait I like to be associated with. It’s not something I want to foster in my children and certainly not something I want to define my relationship with my husband. Jealousy is heavy. Sickening. The green-eyed monster is an apt description. It is powerful and all consuming.

A tranquil heart is life to the body but jealousy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:30

It is resentment, envy, characterized by fear or suspicion. It is the feeling of covetousness and lust. So why does God calls Himself a jealous God?

(for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God),
Exodus 34:14

In 2 Corinthians 11:2, Paul writes passionately to the church saying,

“For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy, because I have promised you in marriage to one husband — to present a pure virgin to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 11:2

What is godly jealousy? Can such a thing even exist?

The short answer is, yes. Jealousy is a character trait of the God who made us in His image, powerful, overwhelming emotion has an important purpose in deepening our relationship with Him.

Jealousy in the Proper Context is not a Sin

When it comes from a place of wanting what is not rightfully ours, jealousy is a sin. Galatians 5:20 calls it a work of the flesh, opposed to the fruit of the Sprit (verses 22 – 23). But in Paul’s example to the Corinthians, he indicates that it is right, even godly, in the context of a marital relationship. A husband and wife belong to one another in a way that is unique from every other relationship. Faithfulness and exclusivity is expected so when the attention reserved for a spouse is given to someone else jealousy is justified.

God’s jealousy for our affection is pure and right because He is the only One worthy of our worship. (Revelations 4:11) We are His bride. We belong to Him. His jealousy is an indication of the depth of His feelings for us.

Jealousy reveals where our affection lies

In fact, the hot fire of jealousy burns away everything except what is truly important to us. There is a common theme in storytelling where the character will purposely do something to rouse the other’s jealousy to test the depth of their feelings (that would not be an example of godly jealousy, though it is something I’m sure we can all relate to!).

God’s jealousy is an expression of His passionate and righteous longing to be in relationship with us. It’s mind boggling when you think of it like that. God’s desire is for us. His feeling for us is deep, driving Him to act on our behalf.

How do we respond to this passionate love?

The Bible is pretty clear about what we do to rouse God’s jealousy (Exodus 20:5, Exodus 34:14, Deuteronomy 5:9, Deuteronomy 32:21) But, once we understand that His jealousy is perfect and justified, what can we do to assuage it?

If we consider our relationship with God to be like a marriage (which you can read about here), then we must recognize we have some responsibility in developing and protecting that relationship. When a man and a woman become husband and wife they each agree to invest significantly in loving, cherishing, honoring, “forsaking all others” (according to traditional wedding vows). It is a covenant relationship, with each party contributing in some way. I like how Got Questions explains our role in the new covenant relationship established by Jesus,

Our responsibility is to exercise faith in Christ, the One who fulfilled the Law on our behalf and brought an end to the Law’s sacrifices through His own sacrificial death. Through the life-giving Holy Spirit who lives in all believers (Romans 8:9–11), we share in the inheritance of Christ and enjoy a permanent, unbroken relationship with God (Hebrews 9:15).
GotQuestions.org

God wants our hearts. He deserves our worship. He is rightly jealous for our attention. What else can we do but give it to Him?