The Dreaded Gift List
If you ask my husband Jeff, he knows the reason why he dreads Christmas each year.
It’s the presents.
Watching the gift craziness can ruin Christmas for him.
Trying to find the perfect gift for everyone can take the joy out of Christmas.
- We labor over our gift choices.
- We spend money we don’t have.
- We exchange gifts that often are neither needed nor wanted.
I wonder which ideas got scratched off the Wise Men’s gift list before they settled on the big three of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
And I wonder what Mary thought when she saw those three gifts.
(I’m guessing she appreciated them in ways we couldn’t understand.)
3 Ideas for Your Gift List
What can we do to relieve our stress over gift lists?
Here are three ideas.
1. Close Your Computer
I did most of my Christmas shopping this year online. I love the convenience of it.
But the internet never locks its door. It doesn’t close at midnight and reopen in the morning. It stays open 24/7 and tempts us to linger, look around, and shop longer than we should.
We can’t depend on sore feet to put a time limit on our shopping anymore, so we need to set our own time (and money) limits on how long we’ll shop online.
And also limit how long we’ll look at other people’s perfect-picture Christmas gifts wrapped perfectly under their trees. Let’s not allow social media to swap our Christmas joy for Christmas envy.
2. Put Aside Perfect
Let go of the idea that THIS gift will be THE gift to remember for all time. No object we can buy, make, or wrap will satisfy someone’s deepest longings. Maybe we can scratch an itch by gifting the latest piece of technology or a shiny new trinket.
But nothing we can give will last forever.
Yes, we can still wrap a present and give our tokens of love, but let’s keep them in perspective. They only represent our love; they aren’t Love itself.
The only perfect gift is the one we’ve already been given: Jesus.
If we truly want to keep Christ in Christmas, then we should be Christ this Christmas.
3. Prioritize People
But how? How can we not just DO Christmas again this year? How can we BE Christmas?
Like Jesus showed us.
- Jesus came to live among us.
- To serve us.
- To love us.
“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14
Especially at Christmas (but all year-round!), these gifts that Jesus gave—living, serving, loving—are also the best gifts we can give.
Prioritize the people in your life. Be totally present to them when you’re sitting around the table. Listen to their stories about work parties. Smile at how much their children have grown.
It may be cliché, but your presence is truly the best present you can give.
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?
“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
Maybe Christmas. . . perhaps. . . means a little bit more!”
The Only Perfect Gift
Maybe your niece’s eyes won’t light up as brightly if you give her a knock-off Scruff-A-Luv instead of the real thing.
But if you remain present to her—looking eye-to-eye, playing together, laughing together—that’s the gift that will outlast all others.
That’s the gift that Jesus gives us.
- Full attention.
- Complete sacrifice.
- Total grace.
Jeff and I have actually finished our Christmas shopping for this year. It’s a record for us to finish this early. And to have stressed this less.
The gifts aren’t perfect. But we are at peace. Now we’re freer to visit, to volunteer, to pass along the gift that Jesus was born to give us.
Himself. The only perfect gift.
Have you finished your Christmas shopping? What stresses you the most during Christmas? What relieves your stress?
Please share your thoughts in the comments. We love hearing from you.
Want to save or print this blog post for later? Download it here.
Want to read more?
- Giving and Receiving the Gift of Presence
Is God calling you to be more present? To enjoy His presence more? - 4 Things Everyone Wants to Hear You Say
Your words are gifts to be handed out to help others. You’ve never had greater opportunity to say more words to more people with greater speed than today. - No Voice Like Yours: An Uncommon Gift
Designate your voice to be a divine gift this Christmas. How?
Get this accompanying printable: My Voice Is a Divine Gift
Lisa, wonderful post. Having a newborn granddaughter, we buy plenty of diapers and formula and so, your graphic drew me in immediately. May I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and the gift of His presence. Blessings!
Congratulations on your newest granddaughter, Joanne! I know you are a wonderful grandmother, so she is blessed already. I have loved joining the grandparent club myself this year so the graphic meant a lot to me too. lol.
Thanks for all you do to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Your words always point me to Him.
Congratulations! We’re done shopping as well, and really tried to simplify the process by realizing that we can’t possibly plumb the depths of Christmas wisdom with thrilling and innovative gifts on every front. And yes, we’re grateful for the Perfect Gift of Jesus.
Thanks, Michele. We tried simplifying things as much as possible too this year, which came with sacrifices of its own. But I’m enjoying the fruit of peace that has resulted from it. It frees me up to focus more on Jesus.
I loved the thought of just being present for others and interacting in a loving and cheerful way. I too have concerns about what to buy for my grandchildren. They have been displaced from their homes due to the Camp Fire in Paradise, CA. Everything was lost, home, possessions and clothes. I know they will replace their items and even a Christmas tree was donated to them as they are now in a small town living in a rental home. I hope to be with them, but if it’s too crowded there, I’ll send them a small package with love and a promise to visit them as soon as the weather warms and there’s room “at the inn.”
Oh, I am so sorry for the tremendous loss your grandchildren have faced. :( And by extension, you as well. I can’t even imagine. I’m sure they’ll appreciate seeing you when they can, either during Christmas or after they get settled into another place. Blessings to you all!
Its the last one that spoke the most to me Lisa. Prioritize people. In all things I would say. As a pastor I say, “People over programs.” In family, time over TV. In shopping, never put shopping above people. Good thoughts. And I absolutely loved and chuckled at the “3 Wise Women” cartoon.
Yes, people over programs, things, activities. That’s a wonderful way to lead your church, Bill. Thanks for sharing your priorities.
Lisa,
Great ideas and focus here. With good friends, at this stage in the game, we really don’t need any more “stuff” so we agree to go out for a nice lunch together in Jan or Feb when it’s blah and enjoy time spent together. My husband and I have simplified by getting each other maybe one nice gift or a couple smaller gifts and then get or do something together as our gift to each other. I think the key is focusing on time spent…This year I got an idea from someone’s blog to do the 12 days of Christmas. Beginning on Christmas day and for the next 11 days I’m going to give my husband a “gift”. Granted some may be a simple, inexpensive gift, and some may be a “coupon” for doing something to gether….just trying to mix it up.
Blessings,
Bev xx
I love your ideas, Bev. We did “experience” Christmas gifts one year and I thought it was marvelous! I would prefer that every year, but it was hard getting everyone on board. But I won’t give up. :)
This may not be the one you saw, but Beth had 12 days of gifts on her blog so I’ll link it here. It was excellent.
https://messymarriage.com/10-holiday-gift-ideas-and-experiences-for-your-spouse-plus-giveaway/
Thanks for your rich contribution to the conversation here, Bev!
Lisa, this is a breath of fresh air! Reading this post, I decided to go for gift cards for my nieces and nephews. I kind of don’t like doing that, but it is EASY, which is what I need about now!
I’m sure your nieces and nephews will enjoy their gift cards, Betsy! And your family (and yourself!) will be blessed by a more relaxed mom/wife. :)
We decided many years ago to stop stressing over Christmas gifts but to “make them count” double whenever possible. The grandsons are still young, so we do a little something under the tree for them plus, when possible, an “experience” they can enjoy later in the year. For the adult children and my parents, we give gifts in honor of them; something that means something to each of them. My mother is on the board of a Texas children’s home, and we’re giving a donation in her honor. My dad is a Gideon, and we’ll donate to help provide Bibles. But my favorite “gift” part of Christmas is seeing what the grandsons (and their parents) do for my husband and me because every year — in our honor — they give Angel Tree gifts to two little boys their same age. I am always blown away by how generous they are, and so thankful that my daughter and her husband are teaching the boys to be generous. They’re 9 and 6, and the first such gift we received was from the oldest while still in utero. :-) Simplifying where possible and keeping people the priority is always rewarding!
This brings actual tears to my eyes, Susan. What a beautiful way to redeem our gift-giving for the glory of God! This is a wonderful tradition your family is establishing. Thank you so much for sharing that here with us. I love everything about it. :)
Lisa, this is such a great post! Gift giving can really rob of us of the peace and joy that the Christmas season is all about. What stresses me the most about Christmas? I have to say that it is the Christmas baking. I decided this year I would bake only when we wanted something. What a difference it has made. We are at an age when we really don’t “need” anything baked, but it is nice to have something for when unexpected (or expected) folks drop in for a visit.
Thanks, Dianna. I’m glad to hear you eased up on yourself, especially since you hadn’t been up to full speed anyway. I know you are a gracious hostess, whether or not you have anything baked! :)
Thanks for the sound advice, Lisa. We’re dialing it back this year. The whole gift giving thing has reached epidemic purport ions.
We dialed it back too, Floyd. And it feels better. (Well, except that it’s our first year with our sweet little granddaughter…:) But I tried to keep it under control.)
Thank, Lisa, this is such a wise, insightful post. Rather than do Christmas, be Christmas – I love that. Will keep pondering that one when stresses get high.
Thanks, Carlie. I probably need to imprint it on my forehead: Be Christmas. :) I need to be reminded every day, especially this last week leading up to Christmas when it seems like there won’t be enough time to get everything finished.