Should You Be Mad?

Do you have a right to be angry? Are you entitled to it?

Continuing in our Exceptional Christian Book series, today we’re looking at Unoffendable, a book aimed at making our Christian walk better by giving up our right to be offended.

Louis L’Amour said, “Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.” Unoffendable has stayed with me since I read it three years ago (and re-read since then).

Here’s why.

I’m Mad

He hurt my feelings.

I disagreed with his facts. I didn’t appreciate his attitude. And I was offended by his conclusions about my faith.

It was a few years ago. I knew this elderly gentleman held strong opinions. He wasn’t afraid to state them. But I didn’t expect them aimed at me.

I thought I had a right to be angry at him for it. And to stay angry.

But was I wrong?

Too Much Offense

How often are you offended? Are you irritated too frequently? Overly sensitive?

Are Christians viewed as perpetually angry people?

When I think of exceptional Christian books, Unoffendable comes to mind. It’s not a huge best-seller or a classic that’s survived through the centuries (it was published in 2015).

But it can be a game-changer today for Christian anger.

Written by radio personality Brant Hansen (WAY-FM radio anyone?), Unoffendable says that our “righteous anger” has become a big problem.

We don’t have to look far for reasons to get angry.

• Tune into your favorite social media.
• Talk about politics at work.
• Expect your children to make only smart choices.

We’ll find reasons to get mad. And to justify it. We’re always in the right, yes?

And shouldn’t we be angry against all the injustices of the world?

Didn’t Jesus Himself display an angry side? He even flipped a table in the temple.

No Entitlement

Hansen addresses all these issues in Unoffendable.

And he still comes out on this side: No. We’re not entitled to our perpetual offense or constant anger.

“We should forfeit our right to be offended. That means forfeiting our right to hold on to anger. When we do this, we’ll be making a sacrifice that’s very pleasing to God. It strikes at our very pride. It forces us not only to think about humility, but to actually be humble.”
– Brant Hansen

While there are legitimate reasons to get angry—and yes, we do read about God’s anger at evil—we’re also told to not hold onto it.
To not sit with it.
To not sin in it.

“Anger will happen; we’re human. But we can’t keep it.”

As Paul said,

“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
Colossians 3:8

Jesus may have had legitimate authority, judgment, and wisdom to toss a table, but that doesn’t mean we do.

Instead of pronouncing angry judgments, what if we allowed only God to do that?

“Quit being shocked when people don’t share your morality. Quit serving as judge and jury, in your own mind, of that person who just cut you off in traffic. Quit thinking you need to ‘discern’ what others’ motives are. And quit rehearsing in your mind what that other person did to you.”

Use Love, Not Anger

Yes, we can—and should—stop injustices. We can right wrongs. We can defend the defenseless.

“Choosing to be unoffendable, or relinquishing my right to anger, does not mean accepting injustice. It means actively seeking justice, and loving mercy, while walking humbly with God.
And that means remembering I’m not Him.
What a relief.”

But we can do all those things better with a clear head, not an angry one.

“People say we have to get angry to fight injustice, but I’ve noticed that the best police officers don’t do their jobs in anger. The best soldiers don’t function out of anger.
Anger does not enhance judgment.”

Or as Dallas Willard puts it in The Divine Conspiracy (another great book!),

“There is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it.”
– Dallas Willard

Humility > Pride

And even better, what if we’d choose to be unoffendable in the first place? We’d have less to work through.

Instead of taking everything personally and being offended, what if we seek humility, offer forgiveness, and extend grace?

More from the apostle Paul:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Colossians 3:12-13

Hansen reminds us that if we’ll begin with more humility and less pride, there will be less of ourselves to defend. Less slights that we notice. Less for us to prove.

“There’s only one way to not be threatened by anything, and that’s if you have nothing to lose. . . . Remember: Anger and rest are always at odds. You can’t have both at once.”

By being less offendable, we’ll be easier to get along with.

We’ll shine a brighter light for Christ in dark places.

We’ll bring more peace and more God.

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God,” James 1:20.

“If you think people are drawn to you by an impressive religious resume, you’re in for a shock. When people are in crisis or need to know that God loves them, that they’re not alone, they don’t seek out the guy who thinks he’s Mr. Answer or who radiates superiority and disapproval. They want someone who loves God and who loves them.”

We love stronger when we’re offended less. Love is a purer motive than anger.

Aim for Unoffendable

I eventually forgave the gentleman who hurt my feelings.

But I haven’t forgotten.

It’s been a lesson.

Holding onto my “righteous anger” against him, even when it felt justified at first, ended up only causing me more pain. It didn’t help my relationship with the man. And it didn’t bring glory to God.

I had to let it go.

Are any of us entitled to hold on to our anger?

We will have legitimate reasons to become angry. Feel it. Work to correct the injustices underneath it. Then let the anger slide away.

Aim for unoffendable instead.

Are you easily offended? What helps you overcome slights? What’s the latest book that has stuck with you after reading it? Please share in the comments.