All this month on the blog, we’ll be exploring the marriage metaphor found in Scripture. Check out previous posts in this series.
Lighting a unity candle is a relatively new tradition in Christian weddings. It symbolizes two individuals joining together in one relationship. The bride and the groom each take their own tapers and together light a third candle, usually a pillar. Once their flames have been united and the pillar is lit, they each extinguish their individual tapers. They are no longer two, but united as one.
Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. ~Genesis 2:24.
The unity a man and wife share in one flesh is a reflection — albeit a dim reflection — of the unity we have with Jesus. According to the Apostle Paul, because the marriage is a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and the Church, wives are to submit to their husband and husbands are to love their wives as they love themselves.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ~Ephesians 5:22-30
Could you imagine the trust your husband would have in you if you submitted to and trusted him the way the Church is to submit to and trust Jesus? Could you imagine how fearlessly you would live if you knew that your husband loved you and would protect you the way Jesus does for his Bride? I try but I don’t think my mind can fully grasp how freeing this would be for both me and my husband. I can only begin to imagine what we could accomplish together in this life if we fully loved, submitted to, and trust each other the way God intends us to.
Now, remember that a Christian marriage is a picture for Christ and his bride the Church. What do you think He wants to accomplish through His relationship with His bride? What do you think could happen if she fully submitted to Him? What do you think could happen if she fully understood His love for her? When she fully respected His authority? When she knew that she was utterly cherished and completely protected?
I’ll tell you! Amazing things, that’s what! Christ’s Bride would reflect his glory, people would be drawn to the remarkable power of the gospel, and old, dead lives would be made knew.
When we see couples that are truly united, when they have let go of being individuals and are fully committed to being “one flesh” we notice. There is something special about their marriage that is intriguing. We recognize her respect for him and his love for her and we go, “I want that, too!” That is also the purpose of the oneness of Christ and His Bride.
Jesus is sanctifying her and cleansing her with the washing of water with the word. He is making His Bride glorious — without spot, wrinkle, or blemish — so that others notice. Her beauty is a reflection of His love her and is intended to make others say “I want that, too! I want to know that love. I want to be cherished the way you are. I want to know your Jesus. Please tell me the Gospel.”
The Gospel.
That is it.
When it’s all boiled down, our unity in marriage is meant to point others to Jesus and the Gospel — the good news that we sinner, who deserve eternal separation from God, are loved with His great love and can enjoy life in Christ for eternity.
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ~Ephesians 2:4-7
Whether or not a Christian couple lights a unity candle together during their wedding they are beginning a beautiful relationship that reflects the stunning love that Jesus has for us. Though husband and wife will make mistakes and continue to sin as they walk this earth together, they can rest in the knowledge that they are cherished by Jesus and he loves them as He loves Himself.
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