I hate long lines at Walmart. So when I saw Lane 5 had only one customer, I whipped over to unload my Pop Tarts, brown sugar, cheese slices.
I didn’t know a dreary day was about to sparkle because of it!
Because in Lane 5, the cashier was a star. Before I could unload the heavy things (dog food, Diet Cokes, Gatorades), there was Sandra at my side, scanning straight from my cart.
I complimented her on treating me like a princess. Sandra smiled and said we’re all sons and daughters of the King. She said, “I can’t control what will happen when you leave the store, but as long as you’re here in my line, you’ll get the royal treatment.”
What a bright light! Can we shine like that, too?
We’ve learned so far in our Philippians 2 study that to shine like a star, we stay united with other believers (Philippians 2:1-2), and we point outward to Christ, not to us (Philippians 2:3-5).
Today’s verses (Philippians 2:5-11) take it further. They tell us to give up.
That’s what Christ did. He emptied out. He humbled himself. He died to royalty to become one of us. So we could become one of His.
There are unlimited ways to practice this mind of Christ, but let’s take just one—it’s very simple, available daily, and totally accessible to each of us.
Talk less; listen more.
What a way to shine!
It’s a skill we’re losing in this age of fast communications. Tell me what you need to say in the least amount of characters possible. Send me a text. FB it. Tweet it. Just don’t call me or come over and make me listen for an hour when all I want to hear is a simple yes or no.
I confess this is hard, hard for me. I can quickly decline a phone call with only a minimally-guilty conscious. There are people I don’t want to listen to. It kills me when they call.
And maybe it should. When we die to self, we shine the brightest. Our relationships are resurrected. Christ is honored.
Listening to others is a practical form of dying to ourselves. Who needs your listening ear today?
- Someone who isn’t being heard
- Someone who is sick
- Someone who is different than you
- Someone who is needy
- Someone who is angry
- Someone who just loves to talk
Any faces come to mind? Are you groaning inside? I am.
Now that doesn’t mean you listen to your office mate complain for 30 minutes about her husband instead of doing your work. And if you only have 5 minutes to FaceTime before driving to get your child, you should only give 5 minutes. But give them full presence during it.
Listening also doesn’t equal approval of what is said or imply action will be taken. But until we listen, how will we know?
5 WAYS TO LISTEN BETTER
- Show up
It takes action to put yourself in the presence of somebody else, whether in person or online. Listening is no passive exercise. Actively engage another human being. - Stay open
Don’t get defensive. Stay focused on hearing what the other person is saying, even when you want to tune out or argue back. - Be all there
Put down the phone. Turn away from the TV. Lay down the book. Listen with your eyes as well as your ears. - Ask questions
Being a good listener means inviting even more talking. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t understand. Will you tell me more?” - Let go
Maybe it is your turn to talk. You have a right to be heard, too, to be understood, to express your opinion. But don’t cling to your rights; sacrifice them when you can. Jesus did.
God always listens to us. Whenever, wherever, we decide to talk to Him, He’s all ears.
Wouldn’t it make Him happy if we’d extend the same grace to others? God loves it when we love each other. Such love brings honor to Him.
Give your total attention to that next person who wants to talk to you. To that call. To that message. Like Sandra my Walmart cashier said: We can’t control what happens to people outside our presence, but as long as they’re in our sight, let’s treat them special.
It’s a shiny way to love.
YOUR TURN
What type person do you struggle to listen to? Who needs you to hear them today? Who has listened well to you? We want to listen to YOUR stories in the comments.
“Be all there.” Yes, I need to practice this more! Thanks Lisa!
I want to do better with this, too, Ellen. Even last night as I was listening to my husband talk to me, I was struggling to not sneak peeks at my Kindle while he was talking.
Good post!
I would add one thing, and that is for a listener NOT to look as listening as a way to facilitate their own “witnessing”.
Sometimes Christians make lousy listeners…not every hurt can be healed with Scripture, and being told to lay a burden at Jesus’ feet sometimes comes across as a brush-off, a square-filling exercise for the erstwhile listener.
Sometimes we need to just be at the foot of someone else’s Cross.
Excellent observation, Andrew. Our listening doesn’t need to be used as a sneak tactic to get our foot in the door for our own agenda or advice, but simply as a genuine gift of love we’re offering, no strings attached.
I definitely need to be like the cashier. It’s not what we do that defines who are, but how we do it. Listening is serving… Thanks for the painful reminder.
“not what, but how”
Well said, Floyd. I’m glad I didn’t opt for the self-checkout that day; I would have missed that blessing of “how” I got checked out. Sandra was a much greater blessing to me than I would have been just to myself. :) (Plus I always mess up somehow when I do the self-checkout. ha)
Such excellent points to listen better, Lisa. Thank you. And what a beautiful encounter with that cashier! Such a gift to meet up with shining lights. :)
Yes, it is wonderful to run into unexpected sparkly places where we least expect to find them. I’ll be watching for Sandra the next time I’m at Walmart, short or long line. :)
I pray for God to help me to be a better listener. Your words here encouraged me in the right direction, Lisa. Thank your for sharing your wisdom with Thought-Provoking Thursday! :)
I think listening is a skill most of us could do better with; I definitely want to improve too, Lyli. And fortunately there’s never a shortage of opportunities to practice! {smile}
So much good stuff in this post, Lisa. I confess this is something I struggle with as well. True confession: once when I was at a self-check-out line at a grocery store, and the person who stands in the self-check area to help out with the registers if needed came over to help put my finished bags in my cart (something they don’t usually do) – I resented it, and I am afraid I let it show. My thinking, instead of taking her act kindly, was, “If I had wanted help I would have used the regular check-out line.” Isn’t that terrible? I need to be more others-focused instead of self-focused, more willing to take interruptions or supposed intrusions as opportunities for the Lord to show Himself. And then your advice about listening well is good, too. Fully giving ourselves to listen to the other person instead of thinking of our answer or pigeonholing what they’re saying into our preconceived notions or wanting to wrap it up so we can go on to whatever we were doing (all things I am guilty of) is a skill I need to work on.
I appreciate your honesty, Barbara. And for better or worse, I definitely relate to those feelings. I’m sure part of it is our introverted nature, but I know we can’t use that as an excuse. ;-) It’s just tough being other-centered–for everybody. It points out how desperately we need to have the mind of Christ in us instead of our own nature.
I am constantly reminding people in my ministry life about how important it is to take time from our busy lives to really listen and take note of people. From the stranger at the grocery store to the spouse that comes home after a long day. And I admit it Lisa, I struggle with it too. We all do. I love these practical tips of how we can come alongside and be better listeners! My deepest sadness in this whole thing is observing families out for a ‘family’ dinner where each member at the table has their own ipod, phone, or tablet. Not a peep of communication goes on and they just sit there. It makes me so sad at how our world has become so self focused, but yet it gives me hope that we can do things, like write posts to help people remember what life is really all about, and it’s not “me me me!” :)
Thanks, Nicki. I’m glad you’re a source of encouragement to others to listen more. We all need reminders as often as we can get them to put down our devices and pay attention to people.
On a different but related note: My car (and two others) were broken into while we were at choir practice tonight and my purse was stolen. Our worship pastor called to tell our lead pastor, who said to make sure we each were personally prayed over before we went home. I loved that personal touch! It meant a lot to me. In this age of high tech, we still need each other in real, spoken-out-loud words.
Lisa,
Thanks for a great reminder of how we can show love by simply listening and that is one way to die to ourselves and to show God’s love. And I always appreciate when a friend takes the time to listen…it’s becoming a lost art.
It is cool that such a simple thing as giving someone our full attention can be such a valuable thing. But it is. Thanks for listening here today, Dolly! Online listening counts too. :)
Isn’t it wonderful when someone goes the extra mile? I had a similar experience at Costco yesterday! Such a great challenge for us to always be looking for ways to shine Jesus in the everyday. And you are absolutely right… listening is a HUGE one! Thanks for the reminder… I need it! Stopping by from Thought Provoking Thursday… Blessing to you, Lisa!
I’m glad you got to experience the blessing of receiving, Laura! Costco, Walmart–we never know where Jesus will show up. :) So grateful that He goes wherever we go.