Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29
Maybe we’re in our pajamas. Maybe it’s 3 a.m. Maybe we’re not even in town.
But in our new world, these are no longer limitations.
For example, in this little corner we gather any time, from many different countries, to memorize scripture together. We come to encourage or share a photo or ask a question (what does “portent” mean in Psalm 71:7?).
It’s online community. It’s relatively new to us all. And it’s quite an opportunity.
With only a keyboard and screen, we can type out love for God and others from wherever we are to any person with internet connectivity. While online encounters should never replace in-person ones, they are legitimately useful in our modern lives, a positive addition to our global neighborhood.
Here are ten tips to make the most of your online community:
1. Be you
Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, have lots to say or little, you now have a turn to talk. Your voice—be it quiet or loud—has never had greater opportunity to be heard as widely as now. So be authentic and give what only you can—you and how you are seeing the Lord in our world. Stay within boundaries of comfort, safety, and appropriateness when you share, but do be real.
2. Genuinely listen
Turn up the volume to hear what others have to say. It’s tempting to quickly scan what others write, but tune in to their stories. Listen to their comments. Hear their hearts. Just because they can’t see whether or not you’re paying attention, read thoughtfully anyway.
3. Talk back
One-way communication doesn’t create community. If you want to establish relationships, leave a grateful comment after reading an encouraging post. Answer a question on Twitter. Message a Bible verse that would be helpful. Skype for back and forth conversation.
4. Pray
And don’t just say you will; do it. If an online friend shares a prayer request on a forum, pray as you read so you won’t forget. Or type out your prayer and email it out to them as well as up to God.
5. Go deep
Invest in a handful of online friends that you truly connect with by giving them extra attention. Nurture a smaller community within a larger one, such as the small groups of six in the Soli Deo Gloria community. Stick with the same blogger’s link-up for several weeks until you recognize who’s who.
6. Spread wide
Just as with face-to-face friends, you can only go deep with a few, but you can say a kind word to many—a quick “like” or “Happy Birthday” on a Facebook page keeps connections alive. I communicate with just a few words to many Spanish-speaking friends in El Salvador (thanks to Google Translate).
7. Accept limits
Monitor your time online; don’t sacrifice in-the-flesh companions because you’re tied to your iPhone. Don’t publish what you might regret; online words are documented and permanent. Slow down to respond; just because you can reply immediately doesn’t mean you have to. Honor confidences shared privately. Create appropriate boundaries with opposite-sex relationships.
8. Take it offline
Surprise an online friend with a card in your handwriting or a small gift via snail mail. If you’ve established a trusted relationship, and an opportunity arises, meet in person at a conference or restaurant or church. Talking online is good, but worshiping side by side—hearing each other sing praises or praying together—brings you even closer.
9. Be a resource
Recommend relevant sites, software tools, Pinterest boards to others who can benefit from them. Retweet helpful links. Welcome newbies to an online group you’re already in. Post helpful book reviews on sites like Amazon or reading groups like Goodreads.
10. Above all, love
The greatest command applies online as well as off—love God, love others (Matthew 22:36-39). Let this question be the final one you ask before you hit send or publish: “Am I loving God and loving others with these words?”
Our advancing technologies continue to provide new mediums to nurture friendships and build faith. Now that we’re online, let’s stay connected . . . for God’s glory and each others’ good.
Share your experience with online community. What social media do you use for community? Have you met online friends in person? Please leave a comment below.
Lisa, such wisdom here! Number 3 is so true: “One-way communication doesn’t create community.” While it seems “easier” to not type out that blog comment or tweet back, a little communication makes such a huge impact.
I love that you thought to mention number 5. I’ve so loved the smaller communities within larger ones. A fellowship within a fellowship.
# 3 hits home with me, too, Caroline. It’s easier to NOT type in that comment but it’s much more rewarding when we do, not only for the person receiving it, but for ourselves as well. Evidence that community is something God designed into our DNA.
And you’re very good at doing that. :-) Thanks for the encouragement and retweets you give to so many, including me.
Caroline, you set the example for #3. You are such a blessing, and I am trying to be more like you in this area. Thank you!
Oh, goodness, Patti. You’re making blush and cry at the same time. I think you’re rather good at encouraging others. Thankful for you.
knowing our limits and keeping our eyes on God – it’s so important! Thank you for this!
I definitely have to watch that myself. It’s easy to get so engrossed online that I lose track of time and purpose. I’m learning to set a timer more often to remind myself when time’s up.
I love this! I’m working on an article about using social media for God’s glory, and I’ll definitely be including a link to this post! Excellent suggestions, especially #7!
I’d love to read your post when you finish, Elizabeth! If you don’t mind, come back and add your own link here. There’s so much more discussion to be had about online community as we all try to figure out what works and what does not work for us.
I’ll try to remember! Thanks!
I agree with Lisa, Elizabeth! Please leave us the link!
Lisa, this is the community that i have found with you. I cherish our friendship so much even though it “online” – it is just as meaningful as my real life friendship. I have a handful of blogs I leave regular comments on (unless I am in my isolation mode — which I have been breaking out of).
Amen, Katie. I feel the same–my friendship with you is as real as any face-to-face. I thank God for opportunities to build relationships like ours through online avenues. I’m also thankful that we intersect through several different places out here as well.
These are excellent, Lisa. I do try to pray as I read an online prayer request so I don’t forget. In my early days as a Christian I used to think something wasn’t officially prayed for unless I prayed for it during devotions, but we can take things to God all day long (probably part of what it means to “pray without ceasing”).
When my mother was ill I sent prayer request for her to people whose e-mail addresses I had and an online forum I participated in (before Facebook days). Several people wrote back that they were praying, some even wrote out what they were praying. I printed those out and sent them to her. As far as I know she didn’t know the Lord at that time, but that had a major impact.
What a beautiful example of Christian community in action through non-traditional means. And how thoughtful of you to actually print out the emails so your mom could read them.
You’re also one that I value highly in doing online community well. I appreciate that you don’t shy away from speaking truth and always do so in a grace-filled manner. Thanks, Barbara.
I try to practice all of the tips mentioned. Especially the praying. I have to say, I never would have dreamed or thought possible the fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. It has been a massive blessing for me.
I never would have imagined it either, Floyd. That’s just like God, huh? Thanks for all the joy you spread out here. It’s a pleasure to read what you write on your own blog but also to see comments you faithfully leave on other people’s blogs. You’re a dedicated servant of the King.
Great points, Lisa. I believe you practice each one of these very well from what I’ve experienced in our online/offline relationship. So glad to have met you here, sister.
Lori, it has been my blessing to get to know you both online and in person. So grateful for our meet-up at Chick-Fil-A last year. I still am amazed at how much we have in common. I’ve grown from hearing the things you are learning and I look forward to hearing more.
Wish we could spend face-to-face time in a couple weeks at Nurture, but I trust our paths will intersect somewhere again soon. God’s got our friendship. :-)
(this is my second reply; first one disappeared somewhere–how’s that for online communication? ha)
Lisa! This was such a wonderful post, as usual! But this is an area I just have sucha strong conviction of; online community! I have been so blessed by it! Yesterday, I was telling the Lord, “just look at all the love given, shared through FB!” I was so blessed by everyone! I of course love the groups that give me accountability! I have to learn how to put these buttons on my new blog page! Love it! Have a blessed weekend Lisa!
You’re an inspiration, Helen, of how those who minister out of their homes (taking care of your son for so many years!) can still participate meaningfully and genuinely in community through the computer. It always brightens my day when I see you online, and I know so many, many people feel like I do.
Thanks for being brave and not giving up on tackling new technology. We all can learn new tricks, regardless of our age. :-) Praying you have a blessed weekend, too.
I love this list! Such wisdom here! Online community can be very valuable, but it must be real.
“but it must be real”– I so agree, Patti. I would guess it’s easier to be fake online than in-person, so we must stay aware of that temptation and avoid it. It helps when we also have in-person friends who read us online and who could call us out if they noticed a discrepancy. :)
Great tips! I sometimes feel that online community is more real than real-life community because of the openness and honesty of bloggers. I do wish that there was more two-way communication on more blogs and websites. I know it’s not always possible, but it would be nice.
I know you what you mean, Joyce. Online we can sometimes cut to the nitty-gritty of who we are quicker than we might do face-to-face. Gives us a goal to work for in our in-person relationships as well.