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Do Not Depart

Encouragement and Tools to Abide in God's Word

You are here: Home / Encouragement to Abide / Ebenezer Stories / Here I Raise My Ebenezer: Autism Is a Good and Perfect Gift

Here I Raise My Ebenezer: Autism Is a Good and Perfect Gift

May 24, 2012 by Sandra Peoples 3 Comments

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“James, do your best worst!” Lee said to our three-year-old son on the morning of November 16, 2010.

We were met in the office and taken to a room where three women who worked for the school system waited—a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, and a psychologist. The therapists immediately got James busy doing puzzles, shooting a ball through a hoop, identifying colors and shapes, and bouncing on a big ball. He received lots of verbal praise and encouragement and seemed to enjoy the attention and activities.

The psychologist sat with Lee and me, asking questions and taking notes. We talked about James’s development (When did he take his first step? When did he say his first word?). We talked about the skills he seemed to have lost (not knowing colors anymore and not greeting Lee when he got home from work). We told her what we had read and what we had learned from Nicole, James’s occupational therapist.

After an hour of testing James and talking to us, the team left the room to discuss their observations. They seemed to be gone a long time. When they returned, the occupational therapist went back to playing with James so we could talk to the psychologist and speech therapist without distractions.

The psychologist talked first about James’s strengths: how cute he was, how much fun they had with him, how easy going and independent he seemed to be. He was able to shoot a ball in the little basketball goal and was easy to motivate with tickling or food treats. He could also name all the letters he saw on a bulletin board. Then she talked about his weakness. He couldn’t use a spoon correctly. He couldn’t name the basic colors or match basic shapes. He did do better when he was stimulated (like after bouncing on a big yoga ball), but even then he was far behind the abilities of typical kids his age.

The psychologist looked nervously at the speech therapist to her left and then back at us. “This is the hard part,” she said. “Based on his testing today and our observations, we believe James has autism.” I immediately relaxed, feeling like a weight had been lifted. We had a diagnosis, now we could make a plan. I assured them we were fine with the “bad news.” I told them I had read enough to expect what we were dealing with.

I asked, “What do we do now?” and they handed me a binder from the local autism support group. They said, “It will take up to six weeks for us to finalize the paper work for this evaluation, then another six weeks before he’s placed in a developmental preschool class.”

We made more small talk and even laughed; I think they were relieved we didn’t break down in tears or lash out in anger like most parents they see. (I didn’t realize at the time that Lee did want to break down in tears and lash out.) As they continued to watch James, they said he would be a lot of fun to work with and they were sure he would make progress in his class.

We said good-bye and drove away. When it was just us, we were able to let the news sink-in. Lee said, “They only saw him for an hour. Are they sure? Can we get another opinion?” But for me, they had been our fourth opinion. Our first opinion was our intuition that something was wrong. The second opinion was from Nicole, his occupational therapist. The third opinion came from the books on autism I read that described James perfectly. The evaluation that day was the final confirmation of what I already knew.

The book of James says, “Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (1:17).

It’s easy to see what we would consider as good and perfect gifts coming from God: good health, happy and obedient kids, pretty weather, and extra quality time with our husbands. These are all good gifts. But everything we have or encounter comes from God, so we must also consider the hard things good and perfect gifts.

Because I accept that James’s autism is a good and perfect gift, I can pray, “God, thank you for trusting me with this responsibility. I want to glorify You in everything, including this challenge. I need Your help to not grow resentful, but to see this from Your perspective, as a good and perfect gift.”

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Comments

  1. Patti Brown says

    May 25, 2012 at 6:49 am

    What a testimony to your faith in God’s sovereignty, Sandra! Not only were you able to accept the diagnosis calmly, but you look forward with hope and gratitude. Thank you for walking the hard road in faith and being a godly example! Your attitude is such an encouragement.

    Reply
  2. Caroline says

    May 28, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    I can understand about how a diagnosis can almost feel like a relief to you, Sandra. I’m so thankful you have shared James’ story so openly as you have.

    Reply
  3. Michelle Finnen says

    June 27, 2012 at 8:59 am

    Sandra thank you I needed this today! We have a daughter that was diagnosed on the high functioning autism spectrum several years ago. While she has just now finished 8th grade I feel like have failed as parents not knowing how to best help her and we are growing more and more concerned that in a couple of years she will be done with high school and then what. The scripture from James is such a wonderful help today and will be for the days to come. “Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). Thank you for sharing your story and God’s word to help me remember that this is a gift from God. I want to also say I accept that my daughter’s autism is a good and perfect gift, I need to remember to daily pray, “God, thank you for trusting me with this responsibility. I want to glorify You in everything, including this challenge. I know we are limited only by the flesh but Philippians 4:13 reminds us I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. In and through Your strength and perspective we will be able to see your plan for her life unfold. Help us to trust and know what a good and perfect gift from you can do.”

    Reply

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