Women investing in younger women—it’s not just a program, it’s a command in Scripture. But why isn’t it happening in so many churches today?
- First, we are primarily around people our own age and life stage. What Sunday school class or small group do you attend? I would guess most of you are in an age/stage specific class, like a young married class (or a variation like married with children or newlyweds).
- Second, the “older” women lack confidence. When talking to the “older” women of our church I hear over and over again, “I don’t know enough to mentor!”
- Third, most women don’t have time for something new added to their to-do lists.
Titus 2:3-5 gives instructions to women in the church. The older women are to “be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.” They are to teach the younger women, “what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands.”
As we’ve talked this month about spiritual disciplines, I would like to make the case for mentoring as a spiritual discipline. It’s clearly commanded in Scripture, and we’re even given the curriculum! If you aren’t currently investing in younger women, let’s look at how you can get started.
In [amazon_link id=”1433503131″ target=”_blank” ]Spiritual Mothering[/amazon_link], Susan Hunt writes, “If you are a Christian woman who is seeking to grow in the faith and to live obediently, then you are qualified for spiritual motherhood.”
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing.
Mentoring isn’t another thing on your to-do list. It is very natural. In fact, the primary objective is to be natural. You become friends. The “younger” woman begins to ask questions. The “older” woman finds more and more to share. Naturally, they find themselves covering all the topics Paul lists in Titus 2:3-5.
For example, one Sunday after church, I was talking to a couple who are getting married this summer. I mentioned I had started shopping once every two weeks for groceries instead of every week in an effort to save money. She said, “Oh, I hope I can do that too! I want to plan menus and cook ahead and try new recipes!” From that very natural conversation, I now have the opportunity to mentor her. Next time I’m menu planning, coupon cutting, and grocery shopping, I’ll see if she wants to come over and see what works for me!
Mentoring is just that easy. So, how do you start? Seek out younger women. Pray about opportunities to meet and connect with younger women and God will provide. He wants you to obey the command to “teach younger women …” Is there a newlywed who teaches your son’s Sunday School class and you always have fun talking when you pick him up? Do you know a girl in the college ministry who has the same major you had? Talk to her! Chances are, she wants to get to know you too. Let the relationship develop naturally!
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Mentoring is an important part of life as a Christian, and it is how God designed women’s ministry! Are you ready to be a mentor?
If you are interested in the topics covered in Titus 2:3-5, I recommend the following resources:
[amazon_link id=”1885904177″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Becoming a Titus Two Woman[/amazon_link] by Martha Peace
[amazon_link id=”1433503131″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Spiritual Mothering[/amazon_link] by Susan Hunt
[amazon_link id=”1433534142″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Feminine Appeal [/amazon_link]by Carolyn Mahaney
[amazon_link id=”0736918833″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]A Woman after God’s Own Heart[/amazon_link] by Elizabeth George
To strengthen yourself in specific areas, I recommend these resources:
Counseling-
[amazon_link id=”1565076176″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Women Helping Women[/amazon_link] by Fitzpatrick and Cornish
[amazon_link id=”0801064856″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Peacemaker[/amazon_link] books by Ken Sande
[amazon_link id=”0875526004″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]When People Are Big and God Is Small[/amazon_link] by Edward Welch
Spiritual Disciplines and Growth-
[amazon_link id=”0736926828″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]How to Study Your Bible[/amazon_link] by Kay Arthur
[amazon_link id=”1433537915″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Disciplines of a Godly Woman[/amazon_link] by Barbara Hughes
[amazon_link id=”0802495389″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Living by the Book[/amazon_link] by Howard Hendricks
Marriage and Family-
[amazon_link id=”1885904088″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Excellent Wife [/amazon_link]by Martha Peace
[amazon_link id=”0310242827″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Sacred Marriage[/amazon_link] by Gary Thomas
[amazon_link id=”1433520095″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Give Them Grace[/amazon_link] by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson
This is an important topic, Sandra. Do you more “older” women would willingly mentor if more younger women asked? I imagine some younger women might not know where to start in asking for a mentor, too! Your tips here can be applied to that, as well. Love the resource list!
Arg, that was suppose to say, “Do you think more…”
I do! Especially if the older women understand they don’t have to know it all to be mentors. A younger woman could start out by asking for advice, then asking for a coffee date or something casual. I think the best mentoring relationships evolve naturally.
What a timely post! I have been praying for God to give me opportunities to become a mentor. Just yesterday I met with a lady who is actually older than me in age but spiritually younger. She asked me to help her learn how to dig deeper into scripture. What an incredible honor it was to sit with her and help her learn how to hear God speaking through His Word. I look forward to checking out the books you listed. ~Mary
Great Mary! Praying now for your relationship with her and the growth you will both experience!
I serve on the Women’s Ministry Committee and I have been teaching the bible to women for many years. During the two years I taught a young mother’s bible study class, I sensed that some of the young women did not actually want to take my counsel when asked. Some of these young women would show obvious skepticism at my advice. A few of them even said things like, “Well, it’s different as a young mother now,” despite the fact that I was only 44 at the time! It works both ways. I do see that many women my age have returned to the work force or are consumed with other things and don’t have time to mentor even if they did find someone. Some of the young mothers juggle part-time jobs, a husband, children, ministry, and the day to day running of a house, but say they don’t have time for a mentoring relationship. The chief factor involved is willingness and a belief that the Titus 2 model is a good one! I currently have a young mother with whom I am friends, but we don’t really call it “mentoring as such.” It grew naturally from our conversations. She is a rare girl, though, and has much more willingness to learn than some of the others I know.