Do Not Depart

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Her Reward

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my grandma's chair in her dining room

My grandma had five children, eighteen grandchildren, and twenty great-grandchildren. When she passed away two years ago, we traveled to our hometown to celebrate her life. We sat in the living room telling stories that brought both laughter and tears. We gathered in the kitchen where she so often stood, stirring gravy for chicken fried steak or whipping cream for chocolate pie. We walked around her yard where she had spent hours picking pears, growing roses, and watching birds.

Her marriage of over sixty years, her still growing family, her beautiful home, her ministry at the church, her volunteer hours as the hospital… they were all evidence of a life well lived. In my mind, there is no closer likeness to the Proverbs 31 woman than my own grandmother.

Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:31

Like Mrs. P31, my grandma was rewarded for her years of faithful service to God and the responsibilities He gave her. Her life was neither easy nor perfect, but she had set her mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2), and was therefore able to find joy even in all circumstances.

How can we, like Mrs. P31 and my grandmother, enjoy the fruit of our hands and be praised in the gates? I think it comes down to one simple principle–be faithful. Be faithful to God, faithful to your husband, faithful to your children and their children. Be faithful to your church family, to the job where God has placed you, and to your community. Whatever God has called you to do, be faithful in that.

It’s not as easy as it sounds! In fact, it’s impossible. Jesus says in John 15:5, “…apart from me you can do nothing.” Without His help we won’t be able to do all that we have learned in the last weeks that Mrs. P31 did. But God is faithful. When we cry out to Him for help, support, grace, forgiveness, and wisdom He gives generously!

I want to be rewarded with the fruit of my hands, I want my works praised in the gates, but above all I want to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

Ask God today to help you live a faithful life. Praise Him for giving you good gifts so generously, to help you live the life He has called you to live!

She fears God and nothing else!

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So how do you feel about the Proverbs 31 woman now? Still a bit intimidated? Well, don’t lose heart! Today’s characteristic is more than just another attribute on a long list. It’s key to her overall success. And ladies, if we work on nothing but this one, we will go a long way toward becoming that rare wife of noble character.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.                                                              Proverbs 31:30, ESV

The Proverbs 31 woman fears the Lord. I believe this specific characteristic has much to do with the existence of the others. The book of Proverbs repeatedly connects godly fear with wisdom and knowledge of God (see Proverbs 1:7, 1:29, 2:5, 3:7, 9:10, 15:33.) The fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom (9:10). It is the beginning of knowledge (1:7). In other words, if we want to know God more intimately and walk in His wisdom, we must fear Him.

Because she fears the Lord, our P31 woman knows God and His character, she has gained His wisdom, and knows how to apply it to life. Here are just a few connections that Proverbs makes between godly fear and navigating life. Those who fear the Lord will:

  • Follow the right path (Proverbs 14:2)
  • Find security (Proverbs 14:26)
  • Escape death (Proverbs 14:27)
  • Be protected (Proverbs 19:23)

We see one more exciting result of the fear of the Lord in the life of the P31 woman: because she fears the Lord, she doesn’t have to fear anything else! Godly fear produced godly wisdom for life. She doesn’t have to fear winter (31:21), because in wisdom she has made warm clothes. She doesn’t have to fear the future (31:25), because in wisdom she has prepared for it.

Jesus taught this truth to His disciples. He told them not to fear anything that man could do to them. Only fear the One that has all power over life and eternity (Matthew 10:26-28). God has authority over every circumstance of life – hardship, persecution, grief, and trial. Whether He chooses to deliver you from something or through something, He will deliver you! Fear Him and not the circumstance. Trust in His wisdom and guidance and don’t let difficulty cause you to take your eyes off of Him.

So, what does it mean to fear God? I actually wrote an entire Bible study on that topic, but we only have a few minutes together today! The Hebrew word most often translated as “fear” is yare’. Here’s a quick definition from Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words by W.E. Vine.

Used of a person in an exalted position, [yare’] connotes “standing in awe.” This is not simple fear, but reverence, whereby an individual recognizes the power and position of the individual revered and renders him proper respect.

If you looked up all the passages in the Bible that include this word, you would find that over and over God equates fearing Him with worship and obedience. In other words, if we recognize the true power and position of God (godly fear) then it will cause us to obey Him and give Him the proper worship.

The P31 woman recognized the power and position of God. Therefore, in godly fear, she spent her life obeying and worshipping Him, and living in His wisdom. Her “noble character” (31:10) was a direct result of her attitude toward God.

Do you “fear God?” Before today, what did you think it meant to fear God? If you lived a life of godly fear, how would it be different?

 

If you want to learn a little more about what it means to fear God, check out this 4-minute video teaching by Kathy.

Her Children What??

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Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”  ~ Proverbs 31:28-29

I love these two verses!  For me, they are among the most encouraging in Scripture … because they hold such a promise.  On the days when laundry is piled high, dishes are never ending, chaos is overwhelming, noise is deafening, and life is simply too much, I find myself thinking of these verses and knowing that it’s all worth it.

The exhaustion of parenting and the sacrifice of marriage are blessings.  

I have a plaque with these verses on it.  It sits atop my bookshelf with all the parenting books I love.  Why there?  Because I need that perspective!  I need to be reminded that today isn’t always … that this season of life will end and a new season will bring new challenges and new joys.   I believe Mrs. P31 understood that.

When we consider that Proverbs 31:10-31 are not a daily “To Do List” but instead a retrospective of a life lived well, the promise of this blessing become even more precious.   Why did her children rise up and call her blessed?  And her husband?   I believe, based on all we’ve learned about Mrs. P31 so far, it is because she grasped this one truth:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;  fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:7

We end Proverbs with an example of the life lived by the truths shared at the beginning of Proverbs.   A woman – a busy woman – who was wise and blessed because she knew the Lord and lived in obedience to His calling on her life.

She juggled all the tasks of the days and years not in her own strength and abilities but in fear of the Lord.  Awe of Him, service to Him, love for Him.   She cared for those in her home and those outside it.   She used her abilities to bless her family and others.   She spoke with kindness and lived wisely.

Her life declared one simple truth:  She was rare and of great value – to her family, to her community, and to the Lord.   That, dear friends, is a life worthy of blessing.

Wise Words

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I remember when I was a little girl, my mom used to call me the Mouth of the South. It wasn’t a play on words about my southern drawl and it certainly wasn’t a complement. I was just plain sassy and deserved that dreaded title.

But when I became a Christian everything about me changed – including my smart mouth. It’s not that I never battle a little sarcastic slicing and dicing when my world gets turned upside down, but my heart now longs to speak healing words instead of hurtful ones.

Notice how Proverbs 31:26 reads in the Amplified…

“She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom,

and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].”

What a power-packed verse! Her words didn’t just spew out her mouth like a broken fire hydrant. She didn’t wield her words like a weapon. She skillfully opened her mouth…as in exercising, exhibiting and requiring skill. Wow! We could park on that one for the rest of the post, couldn’t we!

Have we ever really considered the words that come out of our mouths are something we should learn – like a skill that we should hone? Obviously the Proverbs 31 woman considered the words she used as something SO important that she skillfully exercised wise choices about that which she allowed to flow from her lips. The result was godly wisdom, counsel and instruction.

The second part of that verse parallels two vastly different concepts. Law and kindness. The term “law” applies to a system of rules or codes of law. Kindness on the other hand is used interchangeably with mercy and is defined as goodness and faithfulness.

Only a woman of grace can dish out truth with kindness as its key ingredient!

You probably remember the old saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Well, the Proverbs 31 woman said what she meant and meant what she said…and it was truth laced with grace that flowed from her lips and spoke wisdom to each listening ear.

Since the mouth is the fountain from which the springs of our heart flows, we know that the Mrs. P31 was able to dispense words of wisdom and truth laced with grace because her heart was consistently filled with Living Water.

Today, as we examine the words we say under the microscope of Mrs. P31’s example, we have to ask ourselves some hard questions. 

  • Do you need some instruction on what should and should not be coming out of your mouth?
  • What are some ways you can hone your verbal skills?
  • Do you struggle with harsh, critical or mean words?
  • Do you gossip, whine or complain?
  • Would others describe your word choices as ‘godly wisdom’ and ‘truthful and kind’?
  • How can you make sure your heart is right so your words will be right?
  • What words do you need to eliminate out of your vocabulary if you’re going to be a woman who skillfully speaks godly wisdom?
  • Do you find it difficult to speak law (truth) combined with kindness?
  • What are some ways you can learn how to speak law and kindness at the same time? 

The Proverbs 31 woman may not have had a big mouth, but she certainly left some big shoes to fill! May we be women who skillfully and intentionally speak godly words of wisdom – and may we be carefully craft our words so that we combine the law with kindness in such a way that we speak life into the lives of those who are listening.

Live ready

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As we’ve been getting to know Mrs. P31, I can’t help thinking about what we aren’t told … What were her heartaches? What losses did she know? How did she suffer? What did she cry out to God about? Did she experience a miscarriage? Did she suffer from a chronic illness? Was her heart ever broken? Was her vineyard stricken by blight or theft?

Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, but an excellent wife is prepared.

 

In just the last few weeks within my “circle of wives,” I’ve heard friends facing surprises like job loss, family illness, husband’s emotional strain, and reject ion by children. As I sat in a waiting room today, a lady came in and sat down to watch the tv showing the national news.  A perfect stranger, she turned to me and poured out her fears about family life in the world we live in.  She was filled with dread. There’s a lot to dread. There’s a lot to fear.  That’s the meaning of the word “afraid” in Prov. 31:21.

 

The excellent wife “is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet” (v.21). She isn’t afraid of the unexpected occurring, because she has readied her heart and her home for the challenges of life. Sudden changes will come, but she won’t be caught unprepared. Her husband is blessed because of her foresight.

 

Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, so before hardship hits, live ready:

Prepare your heart –

  1. Walk with God.  Be in His Word regularly, having a habit of going to His truth for your guidance and help. Hide it in your heart.
  2. Worship God.  Practice  an attitude of gratitude to the Lord for Who He is and what He does. Don’t wait until it’s hard to rejoice.
  3. Hear God’s Voice.  Set a routine of prayer, but not routine prayer.  Learn to talk to your Father now, so you go to Him first when trials come.
  4. Fellowship with God’s People.  Women who live isolated struggle more when hardship comes. Connect with other followers of God now.

Prepare your home –

Yield your home to God’s values by letting go of the convenient, comfortable, and cultural. God wants our homes to be:

  1. peaceful
  2. orderly
  3. fruitful
  4. godly

If our hearts and homes are prepared, we’ll be free to help our husband when he needs it. We’ll be able to reach out on behalf of our family.  We’ll be able to give to others instead of being under our own load. Our heart and faith will be prepared to weather the storms that WILL come as we live out life as our husband’s wife.

 

 Today is the day to prepare for tomorrow. Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, so before hardship hits, live ready.   An excellent wife is prepared, and her husband is blessed because of it.

 

Fight the dread, and prepare instead!

 

  1. Are you always waiting to prepare? 
  2. What are you waiting for?
  3. What excuse do you need to confess to God and ask Him to change for a “more prepared” you?

Giving a Hand

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Mrs. P31 not only looks after her family, she also takes care of others.  Proverbs 31:20 says, “She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the  needy.” We talked recently about how God’s heart breaks for those in need and how He uses us to bless them. This verse in Proverbs 31 speaks directly about the poor, but what would happen if we really opened our eyes to those around us who are in need?

Ruth Graham wrote a book entitled In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart. Her premise was that we can’t tell just by looking at each other in our “Sunday best” how hard someone’s life may be. I think of this each Sunday when I look around our sanctuary. I try to think about it each time I leave the house. There are broken, needy people all around us. Many just need a helping hand to give them the encouragement they need.

The Proverbs 31 woman knew that by giving a little of herself to someone else, she could make a big difference in that person’s life. Here are ten ways we can give a hand to someone in need this week:

image via Microsoft
  1. Hold babies in the church nursery.
  2. Write a letter to a friend.
  3. Help another customer at the grocery store pick-up something she dropped.
  4. Bake cookies to share.
  5. Take a friend’s kids to the park and push them on the swings.
  6. Loan a book that had a real impact on your life to someone else who may enjoy it.
  7. Visit a neighbor and take her a pumpkin or mum to decorate her home for fall.
  8. Comment on a blog post that really speaks to you and pass on the link.
  9. Gather up clothes your family has outgrown and pass them on to someone in need.
  10. Ask your waiter if he has any prayer requests and lift him up as you pray for your meal out.

Take time to pray for those you come in contact with this week. Ask God to open your eyes to their needs, big or small. Be sensitive to the Spirit who nudges you to do what you can to help. Be willing to give a hand when you have the opportunity!

What little thing has someone done for you that made a big difference?

Linked up to Oh Amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday!

The Strong Mrs. P31

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“She is clothed with strength and dignity;  she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Strong. It’s a word I always think of when I think about my mom. Her strength was evident by the way she handled life, death and all things in between. She wasn’t perfect, but she was strong.

The strength we see described in the Proverbs 31 woman is much more about her character than it is about her physical strength. It’s demonstrated well when a woman strengthens her arms, it’s demonstrated best when a woman strengthens her heart.

Strength is a beautiful thing when worn with dignity and when a woman is strong, she’s an ornament of grace.

Proverbs 31:25 not only unveils the strength of the illusive Mrs. P31, but it also reveals her confidence as well. Because she is strong, she is confident. Because she is confident, she is strong.

Strength doesn’t mean she is immune to the difficulties of this life – it means she’s confident enough to walk through them with grace.

And while readers of the Word have had the privilege of seeing the strength of Mrs. P31 on display throughout the centuries, we know that the strength which flowed so freely from her life found its wellsprings in her reverential fear of the Lord.

As we ponder the path of the strong Mrs. P31, let’s remember each footprint she left was graciously laced with dignity.

STRENGTH IS…

  • Morally Upright
  • Courageous
  • Persevering
  • Authoritative
  • Influential
  • Self-Controlled
  • Confident
  • Prepared
  • Valiant
  • Honorable
  • Gracious

STRENGTH IS NOT…

  • Stubborn
  • Arrogant
  • Rigid
  • Forceful
  • Condemning
  • Indecisive
  • Argumentative
  • Harsh

I’m so glad my mom left a legacy of strength and dignity. I long to leave the same.

How about you? What kind of legacy are leaving? Is it one of strength? Is it one of dignity? The fact that she is clothed with strength and dignity begs the question…What are we wearing?

Today, as you consider the strength of the Proverbs 31 woman, will you examine your own strength through the lens of her life? 

She’s a Worker, That Girl

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I grew up primarily in rural Oklahoma communities.   People valued family, God, and hard work.  These were farmers and ranchers, small business owners and teachers, and they knew the value of being a person who worked diligently and competently.    I can remember hearing older people make the comment, “She’s a worker, that girl” about women I knew and, even as a young child, realizing it was the highest compliment they gave.

I imagine our Mrs. P31 would have received that praise.

She rises while it is still yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchants.

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Proverbs 31:15-16, 24, 27

Today, we have so many ways to squander our time … so many opportunities to “eat the bread of idleness.”    From the internet to the hundreds of channels on TV, we can spend our days in front of screens and never accomplish one thing of purpose.

This trait of industriousness is a key factor in developing the character of Mrs. P31.   After all, she stayed so busy she didn’t have time to waste on meaningless things like gossip.     I’m certainly not advocating that we all are expected to become businesswomen and manage companies or home businesses … but I do believe we are all called to the very high privilege of “looking well to the ways of our households.” 

Today, will you choose to be industrious over idle?  Will you use your time well to bless your family?  

Most creative

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In my dark closet corner, there’s a plastic bag stuffed with neatly folded strips of crimson material. It’s remnants of a quilt I began and evidence that I’m a Michael’s craft class drop out.  Occasionally, my hand brushes against the sack, and I wonder, “How did I go from being voted “Most Creative” in high school (forget Best Hair, Best Smile ..) to being beaten by a Log Cabin pattern in the back of a craft store? Is there hope for me to reach the bar set by the “Most Creative” wife of Proverbs 31?

 

I could try to sell you excuses like I’m 25 years older, have  a husband to keep up with, children to  keep me busy,  budget with no line for “craft stuff,” and no extra room to “spread out.”  But Mrs. P31 was a gal with similar challenges, and she managed to stock up on supplies and clothe herself to reflect her creative flair … all before Michael’s Crafts and Hobby Lobby existed. Proverbs paints an attainable, even realistic, picture of creativity:

  • 13 “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.”
  • 19 “She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.”
  • 22 “She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.”

Mrs. P31 has a willing attitude. Her hands weren’t obligated, resentful, or angry; they were willing. The focus is on her willingness to use her time and talent, whatever that looked like, to provide for her home. It’s not the particular craft or task that made her excellent. Her home must’ve been more beautiful, comfortable, and unique, because she was the woman of the house. How motivated are you to be inventive in your home?

 

She has a wide range of skills. Before online shopping, P31 had to “seek” supplies and use manual implements.  No one does everything, but she was resourceful and diverse. Remember this is a composite of qualities to strive for, not a single example to copy. Are you looking for new ways to enhance your home?

 

With her willing spirit and scope of abilities, P31 approaches creativity with a godly manner.  Unlike a child’s first cross-stitch, with strings and knots hanging, the excellent woman’s work is something worthy to cover the bed she shares with her husband, something noble and elegant, reflecting her character. Maybe your strings and knots ARE beautiful! Does your home reflect your spirit?

 

P31 might be sad for us at the way our lifestyles often crowd out creativity. The beauty we add to our household doesn’t have to look just like hers, but we can pursue her willing spirit, her range of skill, and her godly manner as make our world more enjoyable and interesting.

 5 Ways to Be a Creative Wife

  • Let your creativity come through in cooking. How long has it been since you made something new?
  • Has God gifted you with skill to beautify the lives of your family? Write a poem; paint a wall hanging; make a rug; plant a garden; invent a pizza; redesign your bedroom; create a scrapbook.
  • There’s more than one way to keep a home. Use your God-given creative juices to move furniture, organize the closet, make a lunch note, write on a bathroom mirror, or make a quilt (you go girl!).
  • If you have children, you HAVE to be creative. Get creative with entertaining children, using voices to read aloud, making a table tent, or helping your tween match an outfit.
  • Take it from the “Most creative” of 1986 – Creativity isn’t limited to paint and mod podge. How about enjoying the freedom to be creative in how you show affection to your husband?  He’ll thank you.

Am I jealous of the P31 wife? Maybe I’m jealous of her  “bed covering” … but I’m inspired to know I can pursue her willing spirit, her range of skills, and her excellent manner. My creativity will look different from hers and from yours, and we don’t even have to sign up at the local craft store.

 

I’m praying your home and mine will be more beautiful, unique, artistic, & CREATIVE … because we’re the woman of the house!

What can you do today to make your home more creative?

Good or Bad?

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Every person in our life affects us in some way – either for good or for bad. Individual relationships can help or hinder. Build up or tear down. Bring joy or pain. Foster peace or turmoil. Encourage or discourage.

Think about the people in your own life. How do you feel about the people who hinder, tear down, cause pain, foster turmoil, or discourage? You probably want to get as far away from them as possible.

Now think about the ones who help, build up, bring joy, foster peace, and encourage. Feel all warm and fuzzy? Those are the people you can’t get enough of. You want to be close to them. To spend as much time with them as possible.

Our Proverbs 31 woman was someone we would have wanted as a friend. She would have done us “good,” not bad. Proverbs 31:12 specifically tells us how she treated her husband:

She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:12, ESV

First, she did not do him “harm.” The virtuous woman does not treat her husband wickedly or mischievously. She does not injure him in any way. I find it quite telling that the Hebrew word translated as “harm” can also mean “malignant.” A wife who does her husband harm is like cancer to the body. She eats away at him, killing his joy and injuring his spirit.

Instead, the virtuous wife does her husband “good.” This Hebrew word means “good, pleasant, beautiful, excellent, lovely, delightful, convenient, joyful, cheerful, kind, righteous, fruitful, pleasant…” Stop! I had to edit for time’s sake. I could have gone on, but you get the idea.

What I find interesting is that this word has practical and economic implications. She didn’t simply make her husband feel good (though I’m sure he definitely felt good). She helped him in ways that provided practical and financial benefits. She encouraged him in all aspects of life.

Imagine how her husband felt about her. She spent her life doing him “good,” not “harm.” She was his primary encourager. I’m sure he cherished her. Don’t you want to be cherished? I certainly do.

Let’s be honest with each other today. Do you feel you have brought your husband “harm” or “good?” Do you encourage or discourage him? In what ways?

He Can Trust Her

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“The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.” Proverbs 31:11 (Amplified)

I’ve always thought the study of the Proverbs 31 woman was a bit intimidating as well as a little painful. What woman can be all that and a bag of chips? How can she be all of those things at all times? Is that even possible while we live in this flesh?

In context we’re looking at the ideal woman as described by a mother who is giving her son the description of what he should be looking for in a wife – the kind of wife we all pray our sons would be wise enough to marry. But are we that kind of woman? Are we at least striving to be that kind of woman?

As we read through Proverbs 31:10-31, we find a woman of very noble character. Yet, one of the greatest traits touted by Mrs. P31 is that of trustworthiness. As the Amplified so beautifully says, her husband was confidently secure in her. He relied on and believed in his wife – and as the Scottish minister, George MacDonald, once said –

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. 

From the framework of Proverbs 31:11, we’re told her husband “confidently” trusted in his wife in the area of their finances. In fact, as you read through each verse that describes this Wonder Woman of the Bible,  you find that like a sweet perfume, Mrs. P31’s trustworthiness permeated every area of her life.

Her husband could trust his wife to…

  • Be a frugal shopper (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Be wise with their finances (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Not be sneaky or deceptive about her spending (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Not pressure her man to make more and more money (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Not be materialistic (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Not try to persuade him to do something unethical or desperate to make a buck (Proverbs 31:11)
  • Do what is good for him (Proverbs 31:12)
  • Be a diligent worker (Proverbs 31:13-14,19,24)
  • Not be lazy (Proverbs 31:15)
  • Care for others (Proverbs 31:15,20)
  • Be a wise investor with their finances (Proverbs 31:16)
  • Be a woman of dignity who is prepared for their future (Proverbs 31:21,25)
  • Take care of the needs of the family and the home (Proverbs 31:22,27)
  • Encourage, support and promote him (Proverbs 31:23)
  • Carefully chose words of grace and truth, and guard what she says about him (Proverbs 31:26)
A study of the P31 women can be truly daunting when we try to place our own lives beside hers. She stands tall and lives large! She’s the ideal woman – the one whose steps we we’re to follow.
But I don’t think we’re to be discouraged by her – we’re to be encouraged to be women who rise to the occasion – to set our standards high and seek to be women who will garner the ultimate praise – ‘her husband and children rise up and call her blessed.’
I’ve heard people say that in a marriage, trust is everything. If a man can’t trust his wife, it’s like knocking the legs out from under the foundation of their marriage. Trust is the seed that feeds love.
Marriage may survive when the embers of fizzle out love, but when trust is destroyed, the marriage is on dangerous ground.
So, use this post as an opportunity to evaluate your life as a wife. Can your husband really trust you in the areas that are mentioned above? Are there any areas you need to work on? 

Hard to find

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My name is Kathy and I was once an obsessed collector of Beanie Baby Bears.

The bear I worked the hardest to find was the one that commemorated Princess Diana. Plush, royal purple with a white rose on her chest, Ty© released “Princess” in December 1997 just months after Diana’s death. Admirably, Ty© donated the profits from the bear to the Princess Diana of Wales Memorial Fund.

“Princess” was almost impossible to find. I combed stores. I stood in lines. Finally, I found the object of my affection. Now it’s in a storage container somewhere.

You know what’s harder to find than a Princess Diana Beanie Baby? A virtuous woman of noble character. Here’s how the wisdom of Proverbs puts it:

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies. Proverbs 31:10, NLT

The author of this acrostic poem compares a virtuous woman to the rarity of a valuable gemstone. The Hebrew word, which means “a precious stone,” is translated as “ruby” more often than “jewel” in popular versions of the Bible including the KJV, NIV, ASV, and the NLT. Either one is accurate.

I chose to use a version that translates it as “ruby” because of the unique value the ancient world put in this particular jewel. The ruby was known as “the king of gems.” Some used it as a talisman to warn its owner of danger. Many ancients believed that the ruby – ground to a fine powder and placed on the tongue – could cure blood diseases, stop bleeding, ensure good health, and treat indigestion.

Throughout the history of mankind, rubies have been considered a prized possession. Treasured by royalty and held in awe by the common man, this scarce gemstone commanded extremely high prices. Even today large rubies are hard to find and are therefore more valuable than diamonds of the same size.

So what makes the woman described in Proverbs 31 so rare? It’s her “virtuous” or “noble” character. The Hebrew word used to describe our “rare as rubies” woman is used 85 in the OT as a human attribute, but only three times for a woman. The word means “might, strength, power; able, virtuous, valor. It is most often translated as “army” and “valor.” Our rare lady was a warrior woman of strength and character who fought daily for her family. Mighty rare indeed.

Do you know a “rare as rubies” woman? I would love to hear about her today!

You Don’t Scare Me!

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Possibly the most intimidating woman in all of Scripture is Mrs. Proverbs 31.   She gets up early and stays up late.  She cooks, she sews, she shops.  She manages her home, her business, and her family.    Her children “rise up and call her blessed” … that alone qualifies her for the “rare” distinction she’s given in verse 10.

However, we don’t think her inclusion in Scripture is merely to create insecurity and hopelessness in the hearts of godly women everywhere.  In fact, we have quite the opposite impression:

We believe Mrs. P31 offers us an example of characteristics that please the heart of God … not a “to do” list of daily activities.

As we examine those traits and attitudes, we believe you’ll be joining us in saying, “You don’t scare me!” but will instead be celebrating the example she provides of a heart and life that please the Lord.

Join us for the next three weeks as we dig in to Proverbs 31:10 -31 and we believe you’ll be encouraged and challenged!

Share with us … What is your impression of the Proverbs 31 Woman?

Advice from King Lemuel’s Mom

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Pick up your toys. Take your plate to the sink. Don’t talk to your brother like that. Share with your friends. Do not correct adults. Stay in the yard. Flush then wash your hands…..

I’m teaching my boys many lessons right now. At five and four years old, they need constant reminders on how to act and react. King Lemuel’s mom had some lessons for her son too. I’m sure you are familiar with Proverbs chapter 31 as an example to wives. But, let’s look at it in its context–advice from mom to son.

King Lemuel’s mom started off the oracle in Proverbs 31 by asking, “What are you doing my son? Son of my womb? Son of my vows?” Sounds to me like an exasperated momma! Let’s look closer at the areas she addresses in her reproof:

  • Have self-control. She specifically mentions heavy drinking as destructive behavior. Her point is to stay in control of your words and actions. We must help our children with this at every stage. Already, I have to help my five year old control his emotions, especially his anger. I give him time and space to cool down and then we talk about ways he could have handled the situation differently. I clearly remember times when I was a teenager and did not have self-control. As a result hurt myself and others. We can instruct and guide our children in this area, but above all, we must pray for the Holy Spirit to act in their lives and produce the fruit of self-control.
  • Care for others, especially those who cannot care for themselves. She mentions the mute, destitute, poor and needy. “Open your mouth,” she instructs her son the king. We can also encourage our children to care for others. Our church does an outreach each year and prepares hundreds of meals for homeless and hungry people in a near-by city. Each year we have more children involved in this outreach. Our youth group is also involved in helping others through local ministry projects and mission trips like World Changers. Children and teens can make a difference in the lives of others, especially when given the opportunities.
  • Marry well. As we will learn more about in the coming weeks, the rest of chapter thirty-one is King Lemuel’s mother describing the excellent wife. This is the part of the chapter we are most familiar with. She tells her son an excellent wife is hard to find, but worth the search! I know many moms of little ones who are already praying for the future spouses of their children. I know moms of teenagers who are really praying! Help your children know what qualities to look for in a spouse. Help your son know where to find an excellent wife. King Lemuel’s mom goes into great detail describing the ideal wife. We can learn from her as we pray for our children’s future spouses.

King Lemuel’s mom probably taught him many lessons. These three stuck with him and he recorded them for generations to read. As we learn from this mom, we can also prepare our children to have self-control, help others, and marry well.

What lessons are you teaching your children right now that you hope will impact their future?

No use hiding ~ A weekend riddle

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Do you remember the first time you hid your sin? Adam and Eve first tried in the garden, and we’ve been grasping for fig leaves ever since. Knowing I was born with instincts to hide, my mother chose Numbers 32:23b as the first verse I memorized, “… be sure your sin will find you out.” That truth prevented me from grabbing fig leaves out of my closet more often than I did.

Agur knew what my mom knew:   we all have a sin nature and the instinct to hide it.

In Proverbs 30:18-20 Agur presents truth for everyday life that makes sense to young and old. This man mines truth out of daily things like churning butter (v.33) and nose bleeds (v.33). A closer look out of our fig leaf coverings reveals a truth in his riddle not to be ignored.  He begins by admitting three things that are too wonderful, even “four I do not understand” (v.18).

“…the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a virgin” (v.19).

 

Like analogies on the SAT test, these four natural things share something in common. An eagle’s flight in the sky leaves no trace. A snake moving across a rock leaves no trace. A ship sailing on the sea leaves no trace. A man’s relationship with a woman leaves no visible trace. All four conceal evidence that they ever happened.

 

Like most riddles, a clue is found (verse 20): “This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and say, ‘I have done no wrong.’” We all have a sin nature and the instinct to hide it.

 

Sin may be easy to conceal when an adulteress cleans up, conceals evidence, and nonchalantly claims innocence, but it doesn’t change the truth. The eagle has flown. The snake has slithered. The ship has sailed. The man has loved. The adulterers have offended.  We may try to hide the evidence; we may try to hide our shame, but we can be sure our sin will find us out.

Adultery has many appearances. Perhaps Agur used the eagle, snake, ship, and man, so we wouldn’t fall into the trap of seeing only a beautiful seductress dressed in veils, inviting men to her lair. His riddle leaves me asking:

  • “How do I commit adultery against God by loving other things and keeping passions ‘secret’ while claiming to be a lover of God?
  • Does my public image reflect my private heart?
  • Am I committing spiritual adultery against my Love, then wiping my hands, covering my heart, and presenting false innocence to those around me?”

Lord,

Expose any wicked ways in me. Leave a trail behind me that leads me to confession and real cleansing. Thwart attempts I make at concealing my sin, and help me to be wholly Yours.

Keeping It Simple

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Sometimes simple is just better. As much as I love a yummy chocolate cheesecake, there is just no beating a warm brownie straight from the oven. (Please tell me someone else out there also has chocolate for their love language.)

Proverbs is like a good brownie … Simple and straight to the point. While other books of the Bible often require explanation to grasp the full application to life or revelation of God’s aPerson, Proverbs is basically cut and dry.

Take for example the “thirty sayings of counsel and knowledge” found in Proverbs 22:20-24:22. These instructions and directives are clear and direct.

As I looked over this passage, I realized this is a simple set of “do’s” and “don’ts.”

First, the Don’ts:

  • Don’t spend what you don’t have. Proverbs 22:26-27
  • Don’t cheat. Proverbs 22:28, 23:10-11
  • Don’t envy. Proverbs 23:1-9, 17-18
  • Don’t scheme. Proverbs 24:8-9

Now, the Do’s:

  • Do have compassion for the poor. Proverbs 22:22-23
  • Do choose friends carefully. Proverbs 22:24-25, 23:20-21, 24:1-2, 21-22
  • Do seek wisdom. Proverbs 23:12, 15-16, 19, 2-25, 24:3-7, 13-14
  • Do parent well. Proverbs 23:13-14
  • Do avoid trouble. Proverbs 23:27-35, 24:15-18
  • Do stand strong. Proverbs 24:10-12

Today, I urge you to spend some time in these Scriptures.   Perhaps as you read over the lists you realized an area in which you struggle … take it to the Lord and ask Him for strength to be obedient to His Word.   Maybe as you read, you felt the Holy Spirit guiding you to a specific action … do it.

These are simple truths, simple directives, for us as believers.  But simple doesn’t always mean easy … and as we are faithful to pattern our lives after the example of Christ and according to the Word of God, there will be challenges.   But I encourage you … don’t give up!  Stay focused on Him and His Word and give the Holy Spirit freedom to work in your life.

Which of these do’s and don’ts presents the greatest challenge to you?  

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