Do Not Depart

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Peace in Proverbs

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Shalom. It’s a word we’re familiar with, but it’s biblical definition is much more complex than our English word, peace. In the original language, Shalom is defined as completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfection, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord.

As we probe the precepts of Proverbs, we find that peace – or the lack thereof – is threaded throughout this wonderful book of wisdom. Although Scripture identifies three very important aspects of peace (peace with God, peace of God and peace with one another), Proverbs primarily focuses on peace with one another – with those in our homes – with our friends – – with acquaintances – with those in our churches – and with other nations.

Today, we’re going to examine peace in Proverbs and the commands and benefits of  walking in peace as well as the consequences of choosing not to.

So, let’s take a walk through the peace we find in Proverbs:

Proverbs 3:2 – Obeying God’s Commandments and walking in wisdom infuses peace into our lives.

Proverbs 3:17 – Wisdom paves a peaceful path through life.

Proverbs 6:12-15 –Wicked men who stir up strife wind up hurting themselves in the process.

Proverbs 6:16-19 – Those who sow discord among the brethren are among the six things God hates.

Proverbs 7:9-15, 10:10 – Seduction masqueraded as peace is the epitome of a hypocrite.

Proverbs 12:20 – In contrast to the demented minds of evil doers, those who plan peace find joy.

Proverbs 13:10 – Strife begins in the heart of the proud. Got pride? – no peace. Know peace? – got no pride problem.

Proverbs 15:1, 18 –  Our words can speak peace into conflicting circumstances.

Proverbs 16:7 – When our ways please the Lord it affects the way others treat us.

Proverbs 16:27-30 – The destructive influences of a strife stirrers have disastrous ramifications.

Proverbs 17:1, 21:9, 19, 25:24 – Our homes should be a haven of peace not a war zone.

Proverbs 18:19 – Restoring relationships with those who are closest to us can sometimes be the most difficult.

Proverbs 20:3, 22:10 – Avoiding confrontation with strife strates can help you be a strife stopper.

Psalm 34:14 calls us to, “Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

Peace with God is what we’re given when we become children of the Most High God (John 16:33); the peace of God is ours when our minds are fixed on Christ (Phil 4:7); peace with one another is also accomplished when we love each other well (1 Thes 5:12-14).

George Washington once said, “Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all.”

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

When you’re in your home, pursue peace. When you’re with your neighbors, pursue peace. When you’re in the company of friends, pursue peace. When you’re dealing with those in the body of Christ, pursue peace. When you have opportunity to minister in other nations, pursue peace.

When others hurt your feelings do you find it difficult to maintain peace? Would you consider your home a haven of peace? Are you a peace maker, a strife starter or a strife stopper? 

Shalom to you, sweet friends!

Hi Ho… Hi Ho… It’s off to work we go…

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The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about “work.” Now, I can hear the groans out there. I know sometimes work really does feel like a four-letter word. Work can be stressful, painful, and tiresome. But work can also be fulfilling and enjoyable. Not to mention it is usually necessary to provide for your family.

God ordained work way back in the Garden of Eden. Before the fall – before Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit – God put man in the garden to “work it and take care of it” (Genesis 2:15). Work is part of our God-given purpose. Like everything else in life, sin has warped it and made it more difficult at times, but God’s plan for us still includes work. And God’s plan is perfect!

Proverbs helps us understand how God wants us to view and approach work. Proverbs equates diligence and hard work with wisdom and godliness. In contrast, the book describes the lazy person as foolish and lacking in wisdom.

Since Proverbs repeatedly contrasts the hard worker with the lazy, let’s do that here. From what I found in God’s wisdom book, I’ve summarized a description, warnings, and results for both below.

Description of the diligent, godly worker:

  • Thoughtfully plans ahead and saves for the future
  • Wise in financial dealings; does not co-sign loans for friends
  • Honors God with His work and money
  • Helps the poor
  • Takes initiative
  • Generous with her money
  • Trusts in God, not in her money

Warnings for the godly worker:

  • Don’t be stingy; help the poor or you will lose everything
  • Don’t try to take shortcuts or engage in “get rich quick” schemes; this leads to poverty
  • Don’t trust in wealth. It is fleeting
  • Riches won’t help on the Day of Judgment

Results of hard work:

  • Will be a leader
  • Prosperity from God
  • Security for the future
  • Bring honor to God
  • Enjoy a good reputation

Description of the lazy fool:

  • Idles away her time
  • Greedy and stingy
  • All talk, no work
  • Schemes ways to “get rich quick”
  • Rests and sleeps too much
  • Fails to consider the future
  • Full of excuses

Warnings for the lazy:

  • Don’t work only when someone is watching you
  • Don’t be greedy. You are setting a trap for yourself.
  • Hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

Results of laziness:

  • She will cause pain to employer
  • She will go hungry
  • She will live in poverty
  • She will bring shame on herself

As I read through Proverbs looking for God’s wisdom about work, two related passages really impacted me. They help us put hard work in the right perspective. Yes, we are to work hard, earn money to care for our family, and plan for the future. But, we must keep money and our relationship with God in their proper places.

The name of the LORD is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe. The rich think of their wealth as an impregnable defense; they imagine it is a high wall of safety. Proverbs 18:10-11, NLT

Work hard to provide for yourself and your family, help those in need, and bring honor to God. But be careful not to trust in your wealth. It can be gone in a moment. Trust in God. He is your strong tower of defense.

Realizing this truth, the wise Agur recorded a prayer that I’d like to offer as our prayer today:

Give me neither poverty or riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich I may deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name. Proverbs 30:8b-9, NLT

May we do all our work as to the Lord, be secure in our future, but depend completely on Him.

Let’s talk: Are there characteristics of “laziness” that you struggle with? What “wise worker” characteristics do you need to ask God to grow in you?

What Breaks God’s Heart

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What is God’s will? It’s a popular question. The first time I really wrested with it was at eighteen, when the acceptance letters started coming in the mail from colleges and I had to pick the school where I wanted to spend the next four years of my life. Right now I’m not making any major life decisions, but I still want to know God’s will.

(from Microsoft clip art)

To know God’s will, I need to get to know God. What makes Him happy should make me  happy. What breaks His heart should also break my heart. When I read the book of Proverbs, I see what breaks God’s heart–His people neglecting the poor.

  • “Whoever mocks the poor insults his Maker.” Prov. 17:5
  • “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.” Prov 19:17
  • “Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.” Prov 21:13
  • “Whoever gives to the poor will not want.” Prov 28:27
  • “A righteous man knows the rights of the poor, a wicked man does not understand such knowledge.” Prov 29:7

And it’s not just in the book of Proverbs. Jesus also showed His love for the poor as He taught us to love them also, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in” (Matthew 25:35).

Now that we know what breaks God’s heart, what can we do about it? In middle class America where most of us live comfortably, it’s easy to turn our heads and pretend we don’t hear. But there are needs everywhere around us. Here’s where to start helping:

  • Pray that God would open your eyes and your heart. When the Spirit works through us, we will see opportunities to serve and to love others.
  • See the needs close to home. In today’s tough economy, there are so many needs. There may be family down the street who can’t pay their electric bill this summer or kids in your church who may need help buying new clothes as the weather gets cooler. As God shows you needs, He will give you opportunities to help.
  • See the needs around the world. The poorest 5% in America are still richer than 68% of the world’s inhabitants. There are degrees of poor that I can’t even fathom. Because there are so many  in need, there are literally thousands of ways to help. You can sponsor a child through an organization like Compassion International, give through your church or denomination, or find a cause close to your heart like Mercy House in Kenya that serves pregnant women. Be open to what God shows you that moves you to want to help.
  • Serve with others to make an even bigger impact. Call the local elementary school for the name of a family in need and get your Sunday School class together to buy groceries and even Christmas gifts for them. Volunteer as a family at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.  Together you can help even more!

God’s will is for us to conform to the image of His Son. As we grow in godliness, our capacity to love others will grow. Like Jesus, we will love even the unlovely. Allow God to open your eyes to the needs of the poor and bless them through God’s love through you.

The Overflow of the Heart

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I like to color-code when I study Scripture. Depending on what book I am studying, I pick a color scheme to make repeated topics and patterns stand out to me more vividly. A few years ago I was working my way through Proverbs, innocently highlighting, when some of the verses began to make their way off of the page and burn into my heart. {Amazing how God speaks to us when we dig into His Word!}

Page after page was brimming with that tell-tale pink highlighting.

The Proverbs have a lot to say about our speech.

The volume of our speech:

When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
  but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. – Proverbs 10:19

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer,
   but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. – Proverbs 15:28

The results of our speech:

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing. – Proverbs 12:18

A soft answer turns away wrath,
   but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1

The destructiveness of gossip:

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
   they go down in the inner parts of the body. – Proverbs 18:8

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets;
   therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. – Proverbs 20:19

As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,
   so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. – Proverbs 26:21

As I read through the admonitions about our speech contained in the book of Proverbs, I hear the words of James in my heart:

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. – James 3:5b-6

Serious. Sobering. As a person who finds myself ensnared by my words more frequently than any other aspect of my life, these verses sting and cut. Sometimes I even begin to despair – nothing reveals my fallen humanity like my speech. Like the prophet of Isaiah long ago, my heart cries – “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips…” (Isaiah 6:5, NKJV)

What is a girl to do? As much as I read what the Proverbs have to say about my speech, why does my tongue trip me up time and time again?

Jesus gives a sobering answer to my question in Luke 6:45: “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

Proverbs, an intensely practical book, describes for us the practical outcomes of our speech. But to control our speech takes more than just knowing what we shouldn’t do. I cannot will myself to be wise and holy. Only Christ can transform me from the inside out – and only being transformed from inside out can transform my speech. If I want the overflow of my heart to be uplifting, encouraging, and healing, my heart must be transformed in His presence.

As you dig into the book of Proverbs on your own, I highly recommend that you pull out your favorite Bible highlighters or colored pencils (I prefer crayola twist-up crayons!) and mark up those pages with the repeated themes that show up time and time again. And if you’re like me, those “speech and tongue” verses will jump right off the page and smack you in the face. But, friends, they are not a call to “try harder” or “bite your tongue.” They are like a mirror to us, revealing the sin lurking in our hearts when we are tempted to be enamored by our own self-righteousness. They call to us to humble ourselves before the throne room of God, asking Him to purify us from the inside out.

Sinful speech is a symptom of sin-sickness in our hearts – a sickness only God can cure.

Parenting is Not for Wimps!

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The door slams immediately following the eye roll and huffing.   And once again I’m left wondering how we got from, “Will you bring me your dirty laundry?” all the way to, “Mom, I’m not stupid!” with a few interjections of, “Now, please!” and, “I know!!” in between.

Breathing deeply I recite Psalm 127:3 about children being a gift from the Lord and remind myself that eleven doesn’t last forever, choosing to forget that twelve will quickly be followed by teenage years.   In that moment, all I can hear is my mom’s voice saying, “I hope you have a child just like you someday!!”   And my throaty whisper, “Mom, I am so sorry.”

Been there?   If you have a child, I imagine you have been there, are there now, or know “there” is coming back around soon.

So, what’s a momma to do?   Taking refuge in Scripture, I often turn to Proverbs.   Knowing that these verses are filled with the wisdom that comes from experience brings me great comfort … usually that I’m not alone in whatever struggle I’m facing!

That old “go to” verse is familiar:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

But, I know parents who have faithfully raised their children in the “nurture and admonition of  the Lord” and seen them reject the truth of God’s Word.    You probably do too.   See, proverbs are simply wise sayings or precepts (dictionary.com) not absolute promises or guarantees.

And so, again I ask, what’s a momma to do?

I’m learning that parenting my daughter has so much more to do with my being God’s child than it does with her being mine.   Parenting is hard work!  But so is being a child.    How many times have you struggled  with being obedient to the Heavenly Father?  Submission is tough!

In the book of Proverbs I have found four principles of effective parenting – and in them, reminders of how I can continue to grow in my own relationship with my Father.

  1. Determine to parent character, not behavior.   Even a child makes himself known by his acts,by whether his conduct is pure and upright. ~ Proverbs 20:11   Do you focus more on good behavior or a pure heart in your children?  Our focus in childrearing must be on our children’s hearts!  Yes, we must teach appropriate behavior but at the core, effective parenting seeks to build a child’s character based on the truth of God’s Word.
  2. Desire wisdom for our children.  My son, if your heart is wise,my heart too will be glad. ~ Proverbs 23:15   Are you praying that your child will exhibit wisdom?   We need to be intentional about encouraging wise choices and wise thinking in the lives of our children.
  3. Develop an eternal focus at home.  By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. ~ Proverbs 24:3-4    What is the focus in your home?  Is it temporal or eternal?   Build your home with an eternal passion … engaging your children in sharing the Gospel, reaching the poor and oppressed, and ministering to the widows and orphans.
  4. Discipline with purpose.  The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother… Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. ~ Proverbs 29:15, 17  We must not be afraid to discipline our children; likewise, we must be willing to question our motives and purposes in discipline.  Scripture tells us that a loving father will discipline his son but, as one who has experienced the discipline of the Father, that discipline is never rooted in anger, fear, or comparison.
These tween years are tough … but so were the toddler years and I am pretty sure the teen years will bring challenges I cannot today imagine.   Parenting is not for wimps – whether your child is 2 or 52.   We’ve got to be soaking ourselves in the Word of God in order to begin to do it well.

 

What is your greatest parenting challenge and how do you find wisdom to manage it?

Fighting Irenes

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Last weekend the US East Coast experienced destruction by a certain female: Hurricane Irene. We tracked her moves, listened to response plans, and rallied our resources to counter her attack. Usually, sea breezes soothe and refresh, and coastal skies fill with pastel palettes of color, but the beautiful and gentle can turn evil.  Once past, peace was restored for most, though some lives were forever changed by Irene.

 

Sexual intimacy is God’s wedding gift, inviting a man and woman to be freely “intoxicated” in love (5:19). Desires are satisfied “at all times with delight” (5:19) when we drink from our “own cistern” (5:15) and enjoy the spouse of our youth (5:18). Physical intimacy in the marriage covenant starkly contrasts stolen delights outside of marriage. If sex within marriage is the warm sands and gentle breezes of a coastal paradise, adultery is the devastation by a tropical tempest coming ashore.

 

More subtle, less public, yet equally destructive, an adulteress ravages lives.  The tempter (male or female) is not only deceiving, but is deceived (5:6). The appearance of an adulteress may be beautiful; her words are persuasive and compelling (7:21). God’s plan for contentment in sexual intimacy (5:15-19) comes up against the Enemy’s plan to take casualties as men and women fall into infatuation with a cheap substitute.

She (the adulteress/adultery):

  • flatters her targets, married or unmarried
  • forsakes her own rightful companion
  • forgets the marriage/spiritual covenants made

Though she may not seem toxic at first contact, “can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?” (6:28). Death is her own end, and death is what she offers:  death of a dream, a relationship, a marriage, a home, a family, a testimony.  I’ve listened to many women share their private and painful stories of how an adulterous affair (their own or their husband’s) has broken their hearts and ravaged their homes. I’ve wept with them as they count the high price paid for momentary pleasure.   Our Enemy counts his casualties with a smile.

 

When a man or woman responds to the lust’s lure, “as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:23). The Enemy doesn’t plan for our contentment; the Enemy, who has always come as an angel of light and beauty, plans to take casualties.

 

Young couples may think they’re too in love to fall prey. Old couples may think they’re too experienced to fall prey. The truth is that adultery has ravaged many marriages, “many a victim she has laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng” (Proverbs 7:26). Many have fallen. Many mighty have fallen.

 

If we warmly embrace or coldly repel the one to whom we’re pledged, God sees. If we welcome (with a glance or an email or a smile) one to whom we are not pledged, God sees.  He gives us the gift of sexual intimacy within marriage; “a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths” (5:21). God sees how we use His gift of sexuality, whether we honor Him in our marriages or embrace the Enemy’s substitute.

Never has it been so easy to welcome images into our homes, into the palms of our hands, and ultimately into our hearts, all the while under the adulterous deception that it’s private and harmless.

To avoid the snare:

  • Attend to and invest in your own marriage. (5:15-19)
  • Avoid and ignore temptation. (5:8)

The Maker of gentle breezes and pastel sunsets designed joy for us in the miracle of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. The Enemy adorns his lures in beautiful, non-threatening garments, with voices mimicking the gentle surf.  Don’t be fooled.  “Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless … For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord …” (Proverbs 5:8, 21).

 

Passages to explore in Proverbs regarding Adultery:  2:16-19; 5:1-14; 6:20-35; 7:1-17

The Wife Your Marriage Needs

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If you’ve been married more than six months you know that marriage isn’t always easy.

In Ephesians 5:23-33 we’re told the Christian marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church – a beautiful example to the world of what true sacrificial love and oneness looks like. Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is equal to that of the world.

Some have the benefit of their parent’s godly example of a good, strong marriage, but most don’t. There is no How to Do This Marriage Right manual handed out when we say “I Do”. Even as I write this, I realize many of you may be in messy marriages. Perhaps you feel like you’re shriveling up in a dry and barren relationship or maybe you just know things could be better on the home front.

My prayer is that you’ll have a fresh understanding that our marriages are much more about our relationship with God than they are about our relationships with our husbands.

My prayer for those of you who are hurting and on the edge is that God will make a miracle out of your marriage.

I learned along time ago that I can’t fix my man – but I’m not accountable to God for him.  I am, however, accountable for how I act and react in my marriage.

We may not be handed a marriage manual when we say, “I do” but we have the greatest guidebook available…the Word of God. So as we peruse through Proverbs, let’s commit to be doers of the Word and not hearers only regardless of what our husbands do or don’t do.

I promise you, sweet friend, it may not change your man (he has to work on his own issues) but it will certainly change you in the midst of your marriage and help you become the woman your marriage needs.

It’s interesting to note that Proverbs doesn’t give our men many words of wisdom about marriage. Perhaps that’s because with 1,000 women in the house, Solomon was wise enough to know that if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

But we do find two very important directives for every husband to live by:

• Love your wife well and be faithful to her (Proverbs 5:18, 6:28-29).

After all, that’s what the heart of every woman longs for – a man who will really love her ’til the end. When he really loves her, he’ll put her needs before his own; he’ll protect her and provide for her; he’ll try to understand the longings of her heart; he’ll even make those late-night trips to the store for Midol, ice cream and a movie – because when he loves her well… he loves her with his life. That’s what sacrificial love looks like.

Words of Wisdom for the Wife:

The best list of traits that should identify a Christian wife are found in the oh-so-intimidating verses of Proverbs 31:10-31. 

• She’s a woman of strong character whom her husband can trust to do what is good and right for him and their family. Her man can trust her with his heart, his home and his finances (Proverbs 31:10-12).

• She’s a wise, diligent, hard-working woman who takes care of herself, her hubby and her household. She’s much too busy to be found sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching soap operas all day (Proverbs 31:13-19,21-22,24).

• She has a servant’s heart and ministers to the poor (Proverbs 31:20).

• She is a woman of dignity who is wise with her words and, much like a boy scout, is always prepared for the unexpected (Proverbs 31:25-27).

• Like a pillar, she upholds her husband and helps him become all he can be. In the process she garners the praise of her man and their children. Her own works sing her praises, as well (Proverbs 31:23,28).

• She understands that true beauty is found in a heart that fears the Lord. Her life comes from the overflow of her relationship with God (Proverbs 31:10).

More Words for the Wife from Proverbs:

• A good wife is a priceless treasure to her husband (Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 31:10).

• A prudent and understanding wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22, 19:14).

• An irritable, quarrelsome, critical and complaining wife can make a man wish he never said, “I do” (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24, 27:15).

Being the wife your man needs will make you the wife your marriage needs – and vice versa. It isn’t always easy. It’s a day by day diligent and intentional effort of the heart. But we work on being the wife our marriage needs because our marriage is to be an overflow of our relationship with God and a picture of Christ and the church.

As you read through the words of wisdom from Proverbs, did you see any areas you need to work on as a wife? Do you have any godly counsel you can share with other wives that would help them become the women their marriage needs?

 

 

 

You’ve Got a Friend

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I have to admit I am very excited about today’s post because the Lord has blessed me beyond measure with several good, godly friends. They are living descriptions and definitions of what it means to be a friend. Unfortunately, their lives often remind me of how far I fall short of being not only the kind of friend they deserve, but also the kind of friend the Bible calls me to be.

Friends are powerful influences in our lives. They have the capacity to encourage us to live as we know we ought and to challenge us to accomplish more than we could envision. Yet, they are also capable of dragging us lower than we thought we’d ever go and into doing things we thought we’d never do. That’s why it is so important we choose our friends wisely.

Throughout Proverbs, Solomon gives us words of wisdom about the significance of our friendships. As we walk through the Word together today and begin our Proverbial friendship dig, we’ll unearth some priceless treasures of wisdom, warnings and encouragement.

1. Proverbs 7:3-5– Insight (understanding) is your friend. Insight is a necessary ingredient to help us live well and choose wisely. No wonder Solomon calls insight our friend.

2. Proverbs 14:20, Proverbs 19:4, Proverbs 19:7, Proverbs 19:6 – When it comes to friendships, motives matter. Financial status should never make or break any friendship.

3. Proverbs 16:28 , Proverbs 17:9 – A warning about words is necessary if we want to be and have good friends. Honesty, discretion and confidence are necessary on both sides of the friendship equation. Choosing trustworthy friends is as important as being a trustworthy friend.

4. Proverbs 17:17– Unconditional love is the foundation of true, long-lasting, life-enhancing friendships. We never look more like Christ than when we love at all times.

5. Proverbs 18:24 – The power of unsavory friendships to destroy each other is troublesome for those who don’t wisely select their friends. Yet, those who are wise will not only choose loyal friends, but will also be loyal friends.

6. Proverbs 22:11 – A friend who has a pure heart and a gracious tongue will speak with wisdom and earn the listening ear of leaders.

7. Proverbs 12:26, Proverbs 22:24-25– Just as a good friend has the power to encourage you to do what is right and good, an ungodly friend can lead you astray. Solomon’s words of wisdom speak through the portals of time warning us to cautiously choose who we befriend.

8. Proverbs 27:6 , Proverbs 27:9 – Giving and receiving good and godly counsel and correction is an important aspect of healthy friendships. When you know a friend loves you, her counsel is trustworthy and sweet – even if it’s hard to hear. In contrast, sweet words are wicked when the heart of the one speaking is also wicked.

9. Proverbs 27:10 – Friendships are a matter of the heart. True friends love each other, want the best for each other, are there for each other no matter what. They laugh and cry together; they hold each other up and they show up when everyone else runs away.

10. Proverbs 27:17 – Friends sharpen each other. They give each other permission to correct one another – to challenge one another – to speak truth to each other even when it hurts – to say not only what the other wants to hear, but what she needs to hear.

Do you have a filter for the friends you chose? Do your friends help you be a better person or a bitter person? Do you give your friends permission to say what you need to hear? Do you have any friends right now that bring out the worst in you or cause you to make foolish choices? 

I’d love to know how your own special friends have made a difference in your life – so please add your own girlfriend story in the comments.

Oh, and for fun, I just couldn’t resist adding the lyrics to this little ditty from Toy Story (bet you’ll be singing it before you get to the 3rd line!)… :-)

You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me 
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got troubles, well I’ve got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and we see it through
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me 

Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do 
It’s me and you
And as the years go by
Boys, our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see
It’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

 

 

 

Wisdom and Folly

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(image via Microsoft clip art)

As Kristi shared earlier this week, Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. He was blessed by God with wisdom. As we start our study of the book of Proverbs, Solomon sets us up to compare wisdom and folly.

Let’s start first by looking at folly. Solomon personifies Folly as loud and demanding (Prov. 9:13). She entices those who are simple (9:16). She lies about what she is offering, not revealing that her way leads to death (9:17-18).

Wisdom also calls (Prov. 8:1-3). But she speaks truth (8:8). Instead of enticing people with temporary pleasures, she offers wisdom, which she says is more valuable than silver, gold, or jewels (8:10-11). Instead of death, she says, “For by me your days will be multiplied, and years will be added to your life” (9:11).

The choice is so clear when we see it set up this way! No one would want to follow Folly into Sheol. So why does wisdom seem allusive to so many? Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”

To gain wisdom, we must start with God. When we start with God, the wisdom we receive is “first pure, then peacable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17). Oh how I want those words to describe me!

  • At her job she shows wisdom.
  • With her friends she speaks wisdom.
  • In her family she shares wisdom.
  • At her church she spreads wisdom.
  • Even interacting with people online, she “status updates” wisdom!

Like Solomon, ask God today to grant you wisdom. Realize that He is the source. Take time to seek His will and wisdom as you act and react throughout your day. Praise Him for generously offering wisdom to all those who fear Him!

A Parent’s Plea

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Kathy and her son Mark

{Such a great post .. we’re linking it to Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda’s!  Better two weeks late than never!! ~ Teri Lynne}

In just over a week, my husband and I will be taking our son, our youngest, to college. So many questions and concerns pop in and out of my head as the day draws near. Things like:

  • Will he take his studies seriously?
  • Will he make friends and feel connected?
  • Will he make church a priority?
  • Will he stand firm in the truth he has been taught?
  • Will he always have clean underwear?

For eighteen years we have taught him God’s truth and tried to live it out before him. We shared our “learned by experience” wisdom with our son, praying that he would not have to learn all these lessons the hard way. The closer the day of his departure draws the more urgent the message becomes. Now he has to make it his own. He has to live it out for himself.

In the book of Proverbs, the father also admonishes his son to live in God’s wisdom. In the first seven chapters we see ten specific “appeals to wisdom.” The father’s directives include reasons the son should comply. The father says “don’t” or “do” then follows it with a benefit or consequence. (He knew his son would want to know “why” he should heed his father’s advice.)

These ten passages are packed with much more wisdom and godly advice than we have room to cover here. I have merely summarized the father’s advice. I encourage you to take the time to read the passages and mull over the wisdom found there. Here’s my summary:

1.      Proverbs 1:8-19
Appeal: Don’t be swayed to go after “ill-gotten” gain.
Why: Greed fosters all kinds of immoral and illegal behavior that will be your undoing.

2.      Proverbs 2:1-22
Appeal: Diligently seek after and follow wisdom and understanding.
Why: Then you will know what it means to fear God and your knowledge of Him will multiply.

3.      Proverbs 3:1-12
Appeal: Fear God by acknowledging, trusting, obeying, and honoring Him.
Why: God will guide and strengthen you.

4.      Proverbs 3:21-35
Appeal: Diligently preserve sound judgment and discernment.
Why: You will be secure in the Lord’s guidance and protection.

5.      Proverbs 4:1-9
Appeal: Honor wisdom and do not forsake it.
Why: You will enjoy full life, security, and honor.

6.      Proverbs 4:10-19
Appeal: Stay on the path of righteousness and avoid the way of evil.
Why: You will avoid obstacles and will not stumble.

7.      Proverbs 4:20-27
Appeal: Guard your heart and watch your mouth.
Why: You will live a full life and enjoy good health.

8.      Proverbs 5:1-23
Appeal: Maintain sexual purity.
Why: Lust is a snare that leads to heartache and ruin.

9.      Proverbs 6:20-35
Appeal: Run from lust and adultery.
Why: Adultery destroys and brings disgrace.

10.  Proverbs 7:1-27
Appeal: Don’t succumb to seduction.
Why: It leads to death.

Hmm. All sound advice. For our children. For us. May we teach it to our sons and daughters. May we heed it ourselves.

Lord, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing!

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God often teaches us powerful lessons when He places us in situations where we become painfully aware of our limitations.

I vividly remember sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery in the wee hours of the morning, a first-time mom holding my fussy newborn baby. I was tired, emotional, frazzled. We had trouble with feedings, struggled getting her to sleep. Although I had read everything I could get my hands on as I waited for AG’s arrival, nothing had fully prepared me for the utter sacrifice of motherhood.

It was in that place that God taught me the prayer that has been the theme of my parenting years, and I expect it to be my theme for the rest of my life – “You said that if we lack wisdom we should ask and you would give it – Lord, please give me wisdom, because I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing!”  He did. He does. When we ask, He gives it.

King Solomon came to a dramatic point of realizing his inadequacies and His desperate need for God’s gift of wisdom. God appeared to him and told him to ask for whatever he desired. What would you ask for if God appeared to you and offered to give you anything you desired? Anything?

Solomon’s reply is profound.

“Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.  Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

1 Kings 3:7-9 (NIV)

Solomon understood the weight of the responsibility God had given to him. He had watched his father rule wisely, even if not perfectly. His father David had modeled for him the fact that the throne was not really his – it was God’s. The people did not belong to him for his benefit – they were God’s beloved ones. The job was huge, the ramifications eternal.

And so, knowing his own limitations and standing in awe of His sovereign God, Solomon makes his humble plea – “I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.” The Lord was pleased with the nature of Solomon’s request, and He granted him all that he needed and much more.

God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the men of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt. He was wiser than any other man …and his fame spread to all the surrounding nations. He spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five… Men of all nations came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom.

1 Kings 4:29-34 (NIV)

Have you come to a place of realizing your inadequacies? Whether as mothers, teachers, ministry leaders, or whatever roles God has placed us in during this season of life, we desperately need His wisdom. We must humble ourselves before Him and recognize that on our own, we are unable to carry out what He has called us to do. We must come to Him as little children, asking Him to give us wise hearts and instructed tongues to serve Him well.

If any of you lacks wisdom,let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

James 1:5 (ESV)

He does. When we ask, He gives it.

Proverbs: Letters for Everyday Life

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When our daughter started high school, I was overwhelmed with all I wanted her to remember. Friends coached me on what I “shouldn’t” do as a mom of a teenager…  Much to my teenager’s relief, I resisted the urge to hang my head out of the window and shout as I drove away from the curb, “forsake not your mother’s teaching… if sinners entice you, do not consent!” (1:8,10) :)  Instead, I began to write a letter to her each week, highlighting and reinforcing God’s truth in practical ways, so she would remember how to live it out in her personal behavior. The letters became treasures for her, and her wise choices became treasures for me. God’s truth is meant to transform our day to day lives.

God has written us letters of wisdom as treasures to take with us into our ordinary days. As we kick off a Scripture Dig study in the book of Proverbs, we find its theme in the first seven verse of the book (1:1-7); the goal is to explain and plant wisdom into God’s people, so they would show the world what restored life looks like.  The book begins with letter like mine, from a father to a son. These words of wisdom literature were written first to a Hebrew audience, but extended to all mankind. The “simple,” the young, the wise and the “one who understands” are specifically addressed to give “skill in the art of godly living.”

My husband Jeff with our high school freshman son Jake. Sharing wisdom for everyday life = PROVERBS

Like letters I’ve written for my own daughter, Proverbs is a collection of writings, an anthology. They make comparisons and illustrate consequences of choosing wise or foolish pathways.  As a parent longs for a child to cling to wisdom, so the writers of Proverbs call readers to choose the virtuous life among the ordinary, with the hope that extreme examples will clearly show how obedience brings blessing. The characters of the “wise,” “fool” and “simple” are used to impress the point of the joy of the wise and the folly of the fool.

While Solomon was the primary author or collector of these scriptures, he was not the only writer. Authors called “the wise,” “Hezekiah’s men,” Agur, and Lemuel penned some of the collection’s words. The words of the well known Proverbs 31are ascribed to King Lemuel, taught to him by his mother. The Book of Proverbs is part of Jewish Wisdom Literature, along with books like Job, Song of Solomon, and the wisdom Psalms. The ESV Study Bible identifies three characteristics in the Proverbs:

  • A virtue is commended.
  • A vice is held up for disapproval.
  • A value is affirmed

Proverbs puts truth to the test in our regular, everyday lives.

Oh, I’m excited about the days ahead as we open up God’s letters of wisdom and enjoy the treasures He has for us there! While preparing and studying, I could almost hear the Lord with His head out of the “heavenly window” shouting about wisdom of Proverbs …

“if you seek it like silver and search for it as hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God” (2:4,5).

I’m so glad He didn’t hold back! Will you join us as we dig into these treasured letters from our Heavenly Father?

The Buddy System in Bible Study

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We are created to connect and called to encourage. We see this evidenced in almost every aspect of our lives, especially as women. Seriously, we even go to the restroom together! :)

But for some reason, we seem to ignore this obvious truth when it comes to our spiritual lives. Far too many believers lack the understanding that while our relationship with Christ is most assuredly personal it was never intended to be private. We need the support and encouragement we receive from others for continued growth as believers.

I believe this need is especially evidenced in spending time in the Word. Accountability is vital to success for most of us in this area. Julie’s post on Tuesday shared some great ways to gain that accountability.

WHAT ACCOUNTABILITY PROVIDES

Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 NASB

  • Sharpening – We all need people who will challenge us to grow spiritually. Those sharpeners in our lives are the people who say, “Dig deeper!”
  • Stretching – Another role that an accountability partner can provide is stretching us. The stretchers in our lives teach us to look at applying what we have read in new ways, pushing us outside our comfort zone.
  • Smoothing – Smoothers are the people who gently guide us into a deeper relationship with Christ. Often smoothers are unaware of their influence until they are specifically told.

Sometimes we find one person who meets all three of these but generally there are multiple people who perform these roles … being intentional about finding those who will sharpen, stretch, and smooth us is a vital part of accountability in our spiritual lives.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN AN ACCOUNTABILITY RELATIONSHIP

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NASB

When seeking someone to join with in an accountability-type relationship there are several characteristics that are important for success. Pray carefully for relationships with people who will:

  • Help – Developing a relationship with someone who is farther along in their spiritual walk is a key to successful partnering. Look for someone who already evidences those attributes you seek. For example, if you are wanting to grow in your prayer life, ask someone who is a prayer warrior to guide you. If you want to learn to develop spiritual disciplines, seek out a person who is already practicing them.
  • Warm – In addition to someone who can help you learn, you also want to find someone who is encouraging! An accountability partner should be quick to offer words that build up and guidance that is presented in a positive manner.
  • Protect – Finally, the best accountability partnerships allow for gentle correction. You want to seek someone who you trust enough to be completely honest with and who loves you and is willing to offer words of caution when you are veering off course.

Our friend Courtney, of Women Living Well, has a great ministry – Good Morning Girls. Courtney explains, “The Good Morning Girls is a title for a group of women who use email to keep each other accountable for their quiet times. For 2 years straight, I have been a part of 5 girls who email each other each weekday morning after we have our quiet time. We say “Good Morning” and then share what we read in our quiet time. Some of us have our quiet time first thing in the morning, while others squeeze it in during children’s naps or at bedtime.”

We know some of you are already involved in a Good Morning Girls group … and we would love to encourage those who are seeking this type of accountability to check out Courtney’s blog and the Good Morning Girls site as well. Courtney says, “Good Morning Girls groups will come to an end August 15th – then from Sept. 1-15 new groups will begin signups on the message board – so women can start thinking about who they’d like to invite to join a group for the fall. Also – there is no deadline – so they can sign up today if they want! We have one group with 68 ladies! It’s their women’s ministry group in their church! And another created a Facebook group with 32 women! So exciting! But usually the groups are between 3 and 11. We have over 100 groups going and over 600 ladies from 34 states!”

We are thankful for the ministry Courtney has through the Good Morning Girls and challenge to get involved in some sort of accountability for your own personal Bible study time.

Do you have a buddy system or accountability partner? How do you seek encouragement from others as you pursue spiritual growth?

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