I have to admit I am very excited about today’s post because the Lord has blessed me beyond measure with several good, godly friends. They are living descriptions and definitions of what it means to be a friend. Unfortunately, their lives often remind me of how far I fall short of being not only the kind of friend they deserve, but also the kind of friend the Bible calls me to be.
Friends are powerful influences in our lives. They have the capacity to encourage us to live as we know we ought and to challenge us to accomplish more than we could envision. Yet, they are also capable of dragging us lower than we thought we’d ever go and into doing things we thought we’d never do. That’s why it is so important we choose our friends wisely.
Throughout Proverbs, Solomon gives us words of wisdom about the significance of our friendships. As we walk through the Word together today and begin our Proverbial friendship dig, we’ll unearth some priceless treasures of wisdom, warnings and encouragement.
1. Proverbs 7:3-5– Insight (understanding) is your friend. Insight is a necessary ingredient to help us live well and choose wisely. No wonder Solomon calls insight our friend.
2. Proverbs 14:20, Proverbs 19:4, Proverbs 19:7, Proverbs 19:6 – When it comes to friendships, motives matter. Financial status should never make or break any friendship.
3. Proverbs 16:28 , Proverbs 17:9 – A warning about words is necessary if we want to be and have good friends. Honesty, discretion and confidence are necessary on both sides of the friendship equation. Choosing trustworthy friends is as important as being a trustworthy friend.
4. Proverbs 17:17– Unconditional love is the foundation of true, long-lasting, life-enhancing friendships. We never look more like Christ than when we love at all times.
5. Proverbs 18:24 – The power of unsavory friendships to destroy each other is troublesome for those who don’t wisely select their friends. Yet, those who are wise will not only choose loyal friends, but will also be loyal friends.
6. Proverbs 22:11 – A friend who has a pure heart and a gracious tongue will speak with wisdom and earn the listening ear of leaders.
7. Proverbs 12:26, Proverbs 22:24-25– Just as a good friend has the power to encourage you to do what is right and good, an ungodly friend can lead you astray. Solomon’s words of wisdom speak through the portals of time warning us to cautiously choose who we befriend.
8. Proverbs 27:6 , Proverbs 27:9 – Giving and receiving good and godly counsel and correction is an important aspect of healthy friendships. When you know a friend loves you, her counsel is trustworthy and sweet – even if it’s hard to hear. In contrast, sweet words are wicked when the heart of the one speaking is also wicked.
9. Proverbs 27:10 – Friendships are a matter of the heart. True friends love each other, want the best for each other, are there for each other no matter what. They laugh and cry together; they hold each other up and they show up when everyone else runs away.
10. Proverbs 27:17 – Friends sharpen each other. They give each other permission to correct one another – to challenge one another – to speak truth to each other even when it hurts – to say not only what the other wants to hear, but what she needs to hear.
Do you have a filter for the friends you chose? Do your friends help you be a better person or a bitter person? Do you give your friends permission to say what you need to hear? Do you have any friends right now that bring out the worst in you or cause you to make foolish choices?
I’d love to know how your own special friends have made a difference in your life – so please add your own girlfriend story in the comments.
Oh, and for fun, I just couldn’t resist adding the lyrics to this little ditty from Toy Story (bet you’ll be singing it before you get to the 3rd line!)… :-)
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got troubles, well I’ve got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and we see it through
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do
It’s me and you
And as the years go by
Boys, our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see
It’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
Wonderful post, Stephanie. ;-) God has always blessed me with close, intimate friendships through each season of my life. While some have been there for just a season, there is a handful of friends who are my forever friends though we are separated by the miles. The last 3 years I found myself on a difficult journey, with no close, intimate friends by my side. Because of the nature of some of my circumstances I was unable to share them with anyone. It was me and God. It became clear that this was a season that I was to learn to need and depend on HIM more than anyone. He would, for the first time in my life, truly, truly be my Best Friend. About a year ago (2 years into this journey) I found myself longing for a close, intimate friend. I began to pray and ask God to send me a close friend. I was very specific in my request. At one point I even told the Lord, “I know this is a tall order request …” Can you believe I said that to the One who said, “Nothing is impossible for me.” ;-) Within 3 months God sent someone into my life who met and exceeded every thing I prayed for. Our relationship is extra special and meaningful because we both know that God brought us together. It may sound like a cliche, but my Heavenly Father is my Best Friend. He’s the One I go to first and depend on most. BUT, God made us as relational beings. We need people with skin on, and many times, it’s through our godliest of friends that Jesus manifests His love to us.
Shelly ~ I’m so thankful you shared your story here at Scripture Dig. I think many women will be encouraged by your transparency!
For most of my Christian walk, my true friends were few. For much of my ministry, my true friends were fewer. (Ministry is often a very lonely journey). Yet there were serveral good and godly friends that I knew would always be there no matter what.
Life doesn’t allow us the time to just ‘hang out’ like we’d like, but if any of us are ever in need we know we’ve got each other’s back. These are the faithful few who have loved me at all times and as Julie said, I consider them gifts!
But you’re SO right…when we walk through the valley….when our world is rocked and our way seems blurred, it is Jesus alone who becomes our Best Friend…a Friend who sticks closer than a brother!
We don’t learn that on Easy Street – we learn that in the hard places where we understand what it’s like to know and depend on our Best Friend.
I love your transparent heart and the way you minister to women who are walking through their own painful place.
Thanks SO much for sharing Shelly!
God has reminded me over and over this week how friends are some of His gifts, and I have been full of gratitude in a fresh way. One of the things my friends have in common … they want to show love, expecting nothing in return. They humble me and make me grateful!
Julie ~ Like you, I’m so very blessed with good, godly, iron-sharpens-iron kind of girlfriends. They truly are ‘gifts’! Sounds like we have the same types of friends! Thankful for your sweet friendship. I just know if we lived closer, we’d be having coffee and talking Jesus, missions and ministry a lot! :-)
Oh Steph! Thank you … what a great description of what God intends our friendships to be. I’m thankful to have several women who are that “iron sharpens iron” friends in my life as well.
Teri Lynne ~ I had such a wonderful time reminscing about how God has gifted me with women who love me enough to share the hard truths with me – who encourage my walk and who strengthen my resolve.
I’m loving this series in Proverbs!
Steph I thank my Lord and Savior for bring you into my life as a true and Godly friend. As you know I have many friends that I can lean on and trust with confidence even though we don’t get to see each other being we live in different towns now but I know I can call them up at anytime. But the friend I want to share with everyone that God Blessed me with I can not call up because she has gone on to be with the Lord. My friend Tammy was our pastors wife, when I first meet her she was very stand offish I did not understand it at first but what she needed was a friend that was a safe place to fall, One she could come to and not only have that person to be trust worthy but to realize she need someone to except her for herself not what the church thought she should be. So giving up my time and patients with the Lords help she became my gift from God. I have many friends as I said that are truly a safe place to fall but giving Tammy that place ended up to be my gift. I don’t think I have every had that kind of Love with a friend before and you know the next gift I get for being her friend is I will spend eternity with her in Glory. My encouragement to everyone is to be a friend to have a friend as the Lord said you reap what you sew. I promise it is worth it to Love Others .
Love In Christ
Pam
Hi Pam! So glad to see you over here at Scripture Dig! I know you desperately miss Tammy and my heart hurts for yours. You are so wise to remind us of the brevity of our relationships in this temporal world we live in and the need to sow love into one another’s lives!
I love you girl! You really do shine for Jesus!
Stephanie,
You know I am SO BIG on friendships!!! So I loved this post and the study in Proverbs. I have many many friends, that are the aquaintance kind of friends. The true forever friends, those are my precious angels, that God has sent to me. I cherish them so much and would do anything for them, anytime, anywhere. I am one of those goes back to that “Golden Rule” Treat others as you would have them treat you. I am so blessed that God has given me such a big heart for “Reliable True Friendship”. Jesus loves me past my pain, and that is my goal for my friends!!!
Amanda
Amanda ~ I’m SO glad you’re SO big on friendships! I’m one of the beneficiaries of your beautiful heart to treat others as you would have them treat you! Blessed by your love for God and your love for others in Him name!
Love ya, girl!
Steph
Phil 3:7-14
While reading this post, I found myself repeating the word “Amen!” I love friendship…even more I love that friendship is a gift of God’s love and care for us. While true that some friends come and go and may have tested us rather than uplifted us, God has blessed me with a few dear friends along the way. This post brings to mind the gratitude that I have to God for bringing my dearest friend, my soul sister, into my life and doing so when I needed a true, Godly friend the most. About a year and a half ago, I encountered my best “earthly” friend (God is our BEST friend) on a women’s retreat, never imagining the strong connection that God would make between our hearts. I thank God daily for Kathy, she is ever present, steadfast in her loyalty, encouraging and uplifting, and “loves at all times.” She ESPECIALLY loves me in the hard times and does so with God’s love; and, honestly, we all know that not all friends will stand by us when life is messy and when we may be less than loveable. There is alot of laughter and tears openly shared between us. We both have our quirks and differences, all of which are appreciated and understood by other…bringing a great peace and a fun balance to our friendship. She is a safe shelter for me and I feel nothing less than at home in her company. She teaches me so much about living in the moment, God’s promises, His grace and what being a true friend (a friend in Christ) really means. God’s presence is always felt when we gather together, as though he directly shines his blessing on our friendship each time…what love, comfort and joy that is! I know that such a friendship is rare, and am beyond blessed by God to be given the gift of Kathy’s friendship. I know it is one that is Christ-centered and neverending as it reflects Gods’ endless love, joy, peace, and goodness. Friends like this are truly God’s blessing and a very precious way that he loves and cares for us here on earth.
Shannon ~ I loved reading about your friendship with Shannon. It truly brought tears to my eyes as it was such a sweet parallel of a friendship I have with someone who has been through my good, my bad and my ugly seasons of life and has loved me every step of the way.
And I love the way you reminded us of the fact that friends are one of the ways God chooses to bless us and care for us in our journey on Planet Earth!
Thanks so much for sharing a part of your story and your heart with us here at Scripture Dig! Beautiful…just beautiful!
I’ve thought on friendships a lot lately. This blog blessed me. I have always been one to depend on friends-sometimes more than I should. Off and on, God has taught me this lesson and retaught me this lesson. But I’m so thankful He always continues to put someone in my life as a blessing of a friend. When I moved from Florida 4 years ago back to my hometown area, I left all my very closest friends behind and it was a very dramatic experience for me. God used that time to show Himself in new ways to me. He also developed a best friendship between me and my mom, which was a divine, precious, and wonderful thing, as she has now gone to Heaven. After much prayer and seeking, we found a church we loved here in Ohio and God gave me a very special friend who holds me accountable and loves me and prayer fervently for me and we talk every day. She is a God-given gift. And recently, I have reconnected with an old friend I grew up with, who just moved back here, and that has been a blessing, too, as we are both walking through difficult circumstances in life. So needless to say, I am blessed with some special people .
Rachel ~ I’m so glad you’re digging with us and that you shared so beautifully the importance of sincere friendships. They truly are gifts. And no matter where we go we certainly need friends.