What Did You Say? Using Kind Words in the Home

In today’s post, we will be examining the importance of Using Kind Words in the Home. #WordsOfLife

What Did You Say?

I remember thinking that my mother had eyes on the back of her head and sensitive ears that could almost pick up my thoughts! 

When I became a mother, I inherited those things, as most moms do.

That’s why my young daughters and I often sang a particular Bible verse. (I would create a simple tune to help our memory verses “stick” a little better.)  Knowing (and applying) this verse was so important! The version of 1 Thessalonians 5:11 we learned was worded this way:

“Be kind to one another and build each other up…” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

I explained to my girls that this meant using kind and helpful words (accompanied by a kind and helpful attitude). It meant encouraging and supporting one another, being helpful, showing respect, and graciously offering words of honesty paired with love. 

Over my many years as a mother and wife, I’ve learned about the peace, encouragement, and harmony that can result in a home from words offered in love and given at the right time.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11)

Be Kind

We probably all know others who have been carefully instructed in what to say. You know, people who use manners, say “please” and “thank you,” and apologize at the right time. But when people do those things and you know fully well that they don’t mean it, a bad taste gets left in your mouth. We crave honesty with kindness!

The Bible tells us to be kind, but it also tells us that what comes out of us comes from within us. 

The source of our words is our heart. (I wrote about this last summer in this post.)  

Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. (Matthew 12:33–35)

When the source (our hearts) is pure, the outcome (our words) will be pure. The reverse is also true. If the source is impure, the outcome will be, too. Fix the source, fix the problem!

Yes, our words come from our hearts, so if we see a problem, we must fix the source. We must work on our heart-attitude and our relationship with God. We can do this by confession, prayer, asking for God’s direct help, asking a trusted mentor for tips or advice, and watching our “input” (meaning, what we fill our minds with.)

I’ve heard it said that “words” and “swords” have the exact same letters and that words can be swords if we aren’t careful. Unfortunately, words can be powerful weapons that hurt others and destroy relationships. In families, unkind words can cause depression, self-esteem issues, anxiety, anger, disrespect, bitterness, broken relationships, and more. 

That’s all really heavy stuff! But it serves as a reminder of the weight and importance of watching our “output.” (Notice: When we watch our “input” it helps with our “output.”)

Build Each Other Up

The verse in Thessalonians tells us to “be kind” and “build each other up.” But on a practical level, what does that look like and how do we do it?

Like I stated in this post, kind and pure words: 

…are the result of having the Spirit dwelling in our hearts, so they look like Him [God].

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:22-24)

Yes, kind and pure words are words that reflect God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness… You get the idea. And we women need to use them, model them, teach them, and encourage their use within our homes. Even when it’s hard. (Especially when it’s hard?) Even when the other person doesn’t seem to deserve it. (Because who really does?) And even when we’re tired, grumpy, and overworked. (Because, don’t our families need our constant love and faithfulness?) 

After all, rather than using words that destroy and tear down, a wise woman uses words that build others up.

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1, NLT)

When our words are kind and encouraging, we show ourselves safe and trustworthy. Our spouse, children, and loved ones know that they can come to us openly and honestly. We prove ourselves a reliable and solid “rock.” 

Neither we, nor our families, will speak kindly all the time, but it is something we can strive for. We can allow God to set the bar high (because He has) and we can be gracious with ourselves and our families as we aim for that bar. 

And we can thank God for sending the Spirit who guides and helps us! He is faithful!

Share in the comments how God has reminded you about the importance of kind words.