Depression – Remembering God’s Presence

I’ll never forget the strange orange sky that night.

It was late and we were driving to the hospital. I was pregnant and near term with our third daughter, but our baby wasn’t moving. My husband and I drove mostly in silence.

Things were probably ok, right? But we were afraid to reassure each other.

That night, and the next day, ushered in a whole new world for us. This new world had the reality of a sweet baby girl who’d passed on to Jesus while still in the womb, open grief in the hospital bed, secret tears and sobs in hospital hallways, and funeral plans in place of plans to bring home baby.

And weeks and months after there was an aloneness.

Time moved on and I was supposed to, too. Everyone was patient and I was so blessed in that. But, it took time.

And at this deepest low, it took great faith. Thankfully, God was with me in the pit.

There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still. – Corrie Ten Boom

But the bad thing about being in the pit is that you can’t see well. It’s dark and vision is distorted, so you feel your way along. And when life hurts so much, there’s not much feeling there.

I remember, several months after our daughter was born, telling my husband, “I can’t feel God’s presence anymore. I feel so alone.”

He held me and let me cry.

And it was around that time that I started to look for God. Really, really look. And I found that although I couldn’t feel Him (because all I could feel was unbearable grief) it didn’t change the fact that He was there. God is ever with us.  I started to read my Bible and Christian books about grief and spend more time in prayer. And slowly, God revealed Himself to me in new, unexpected ways.

• He reminded me that it’s important to rely on Biblical truths and not only on what you feel.
• He reminded me that when I was too weak to hang on, He would hang on to me.
• He reminded me that I was never, ever alone.
• And He reminded me how much He loved me.

As a result, a beautiful thing happened. My faith matured. It was a very painful journey, but I thank God for the lessons He allowed me to learn from that experience.

{Please understand, I’m not insinuating in any way that feeling depressed, or struggling with depression or deep grief is an indication of weak faith. I’m only expressing that God can be glorified even in the worst of situations.}

What the Bible says about God’s Presence

If you need some Truths to Hang On To, please be encouraged by these verses about God’s presence. (Any emphasis added is mine.)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isa 41:10

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” – Isa 43:2

“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” — Psa 139:7-12

“Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save. — Isa 46:3,4

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6, NIV

And finally, these beautiful words from Isaiah are such an encouragement to me:

“In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.” (Isa 63:9, ESV)

See, our God hurts when we hurt and loves us so passionately that He never lets go—He carries us in His hands and stays with us, carrying us forward to hope, healing, and joy in His presence.

And that, dear friend, is truth you can hang on to!

How has remembering the fact of God’s presence helped you make it through difficult times?