• Home
  • About
    • Our Contributors
    • Our Beliefs
  • Blog
  • Bible Studies
    • Scripture Dig
  • Archives
  • Shop
  • Advertise
  • Contact
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Do Not Depart

Encouragement and Tools to Abide in God's Word

You are here: Home / Bible Study Tools / Friendship Matters: Being a Better Friend / How to Be an Encouraging Friend in Times of Pain

How to Be an Encouraging Friend in Times of Pain

April 25, 2017 by Patti Brown 1 Comment

Welcome to Do Not Depart! Be sure to subscribe to the Do Not Depart RSS feed or email updates to receive regular encouragement and tools to abide in God's Word.

Welcome back to Do Not Depart! If you haven't already, subscribe to the Do Not Depart RSS feed or email updates to receive regular encouragement and tools to abide in God's Word. This post may include affiliate links. To read our full disclosure policy, click here. Thank you for supporting this site!

Mary sends up a flare on Facebook: “I just don’t know how I am going to get through this day.”

You see Angela hurrying out of church with tears streaming down her face.

Liz angrily pours out her frustration about something minor, and you realize that a deeper hurt is fueling her emotion.

When your friend struggles, how can you help? Learn more about encouraging friends in times of pain.
No matter how you realize she is hurting, when your friend is in pain she needs your loving encouragement. But sometimes it is hard to know what to say or do, isn’t it? We want to help but we aren’t sure how.

“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

The encouragement of a loving friend can make all the difference in how we face the struggles that come in life. Here are suggestions for how to be the encourager your friend needs.

AN ENCOURAGING FRIEND DOES…

  • Make a point to connect – When you realize your friend is hurting, reach out in person or via technology (here are some ideas Ali shared earlier in our series on friendship). “Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” (Proverbs 27:10)
  • Acknowledge her pain – Don’t reach for solutions straight away. Honor the fact that she is hurting and be with her in her pain: “This is so hard.” “I am so sorry.” “It is understandable that you feel this way.” “I can’t imagine how difficult this is.”
  • Speak words that build up – Choose life-giving words. If her pain comes from recognition of sin in her own life, don’t neglect to encourage her about the ways she blesses you. “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up,” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  • Ask questions – “How are you feeling today?” “What can I do to help?” “How can I pray for you?”… and really listen to the answers.
  • Find a way to bring beauty into her life – Email or text her a worship song that is meaningful, or a pretty image of a scripture applicable to her situation. Bring her flowers, or a small cheerful gift basket. Make a meal that she can enjoy in her own home, or have her over for dinner.

AN ENCOURAGING FRIEND DOES NOT…

  • Minimize her struggle – Now is not the time to talk about how great other things are in her life. If your friend’s father dies, it would obviously be insensitive to say “Well at least you have another parent.” Don’t make this sort of mistake in another context. Her pain is what it is.
  • Preach a sermon – The last thing someone needs when she is suffering is to hear a long theological treatise. Yes, speak God’s Truth, but be sensitive about timing, and be concise! “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)
  • Make it about you – It’s okay to share your personal experience in a limited fashion, but be mindful of keeping the focus on your friend.
  • Forget to follow up – Stay connected. Make a point to check in with your friend regularly.

God knows that we need each other, and that we need Him in our friendships. I love this passage from Ecclesiastes:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

You + your friend + God = a threefold cord! Be the encourager that your friend needs in her pain. You will be blessed as you bless!

“For I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” – Romans 1:12

Practical ways to encourage a friend who is suffering. #BeingABetterFriend

Click To Tweet

How to Be an Encouraging Friend in Times of Pain. #BeingABetterFriend

Click To Tweet

Do you have a friend in pain? Be intentional about being an encourager. #BeingABetterFriend

Click To Tweet

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save

Share
Pin
Tweet
0 Shares

Related

About Patti Brown

God has transformed Patti from a frightened young woman into a truly joyful mama. She is passionate about encouraging women to seek hard after Jesus and receive freedom to enjoy the life they have been given. Patti writes at Joyful Mama and with her daughter at Blossoms and Posies..

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
Why Memorize Colossians 3:1-17 with Us? 5 Reasons
Friendship Matters: Series Recap

Comments

  1. Sandy says

    April 27, 2017 at 8:32 am

    These are such wonderful, practical, doable suggestions. Thank you!

    Reply

Join the DiscussionCancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

This Month’s Theme

  • Jesus is the Way
  • And He Shall Be Called Series Intro

Enter your email address to have new posts emailed to you:

We’ll come to you

Enter your email address to have new posts emailed to you

Categories

Bible Memory – Lent 2021

Memorizing Isaiah 12

Let the Children Come

Let the Children Come

Want more #HideHisWord resources?

Memorizing Psalm 1

Find Us on Facebook


Search

Recent Posts

  • Series Wrap-Up: The Lord Is My Light
  • His Marvelous Light
  • When the Darkness Deepens
  • Though I Sit in Darkness…
  • Let Your Light Shine
  • Life-Giving Light

Archives

© 2025 · Pretty Creative WordPress Theme by, Pretty Darn Cute Design