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Encouragement and Tools to Abide in God's Word

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Our First Problem

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Our first problem is that our attitude toward sin is more self-centered than God-centered. We are more concerned about our own “victory” over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God. We cannot tolerate failure in our own struggle with sin chiefly because we are success-oriented, not because we know it is offensive to God.

God wants us to walk in obedience—not victory. Obedience is oriented toward God; victory is oriented toward self. This may seem to be merely splitting hairs over semantics, but there is a subtle, self-centered attitude at the root of many of our difficulties with sin. Until we face the is attitude and deal with it we will not consistently walk in holiness.

—Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness

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For the month of December we are sharing posts and quotes to help us escape the Cycle of Try Harder, through Believing Better.

Read more Believing Better posts here.
 

Eternal Treasure Boxes

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Did you have a treasure box when you were a child?

I had a special box just for my rock collection, a plastic box with a bow on top. Even more precious to me was a carved wooden box that had been my grandmother’s. It had a tiny padlock on it, and in this box I kept only my most cherished treasures.

Now I have a special drawer which I fill mostly with letters and pictures from those dearest to me. Sometimes when I am struggling, I will open my drawer and pull out a handful and soak up the love written and drawn just for me.

If you have spent much time here at Do Not Depart, you are surely familiar with this verse:

 

I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (nlt) Psalm 119:11

 

Many of you have joined in the Hide His Word challenges to memorize scripture. And many of you have dug deep into the Word in bible studies with us.

But did you know that the word translated “hide” doesn’t just imply study and memorization? Some versions actually translate it as “treasure.”

 

Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You. (nas) Psalm 119:11

 

small treaures

Photo Credit

A treasure, to be tucked away in my most tender and precious place… my heart. God’s Word is a sweet gift to be delighted in.

 

I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.  (esv) Psalm 119:16

 

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!  (esv) Psalm 119:103

 

The scriptures are a God-sized, holy version of the drawer of precious letters written full of love and encouragement just for me. This treasure is a free offering, given for each one of us, accessible at all times!

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States, and families around the country will be sitting down to share a meal and count their blessings. As believers, we know that we are to joyfully give thanks every day and in all circumstances.

 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 

Certainly, one of the greatest blessings and joys for which I am thankful is God’s Word.  While I was raised in a Christian home, I didn’t really read and study God’s Word until I was an adult. It is not an exaggeration to say that it completely transformed my life.

As we head into the days after our Thanksgiving holiday, much time and money will be wrapped up in pursuing earthly treasures. Gift shopping has become so deeply a part of our culture at this time of year that we have special names for the days after Thanksgiving… Black Friday… Cyber Monday.

But you and I, children of God, have the privilege and joy of pursuing heavenly treasure.

Let us delight in His Word, and make our hearts eternal treasure boxes!

Her Children What??

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Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”  ~ Proverbs 31:28-29

I love these two verses!  For me, they are among the most encouraging in Scripture … because they hold such a promise.  On the days when laundry is piled high, dishes are never ending, chaos is overwhelming, noise is deafening, and life is simply too much, I find myself thinking of these verses and knowing that it’s all worth it.

The exhaustion of parenting and the sacrifice of marriage are blessings.  

I have a plaque with these verses on it.  It sits atop my bookshelf with all the parenting books I love.  Why there?  Because I need that perspective!  I need to be reminded that today isn’t always … that this season of life will end and a new season will bring new challenges and new joys.   I believe Mrs. P31 understood that.

When we consider that Proverbs 31:10-31 are not a daily “To Do List” but instead a retrospective of a life lived well, the promise of this blessing become even more precious.   Why did her children rise up and call her blessed?  And her husband?   I believe, based on all we’ve learned about Mrs. P31 so far, it is because she grasped this one truth:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;  fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:7

We end Proverbs with an example of the life lived by the truths shared at the beginning of Proverbs.   A woman – a busy woman – who was wise and blessed because she knew the Lord and lived in obedience to His calling on her life.

She juggled all the tasks of the days and years not in her own strength and abilities but in fear of the Lord.  Awe of Him, service to Him, love for Him.   She cared for those in her home and those outside it.   She used her abilities to bless her family and others.   She spoke with kindness and lived wisely.

Her life declared one simple truth:  She was rare and of great value – to her family, to her community, and to the Lord.   That, dear friends, is a life worthy of blessing.

Live ready

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As we’ve been getting to know Mrs. P31, I can’t help thinking about what we aren’t told … What were her heartaches? What losses did she know? How did she suffer? What did she cry out to God about? Did she experience a miscarriage? Did she suffer from a chronic illness? Was her heart ever broken? Was her vineyard stricken by blight or theft?

Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, but an excellent wife is prepared.

 

In just the last few weeks within my “circle of wives,” I’ve heard friends facing surprises like job loss, family illness, husband’s emotional strain, and reject ion by children. As I sat in a waiting room today, a lady came in and sat down to watch the tv showing the national news.  A perfect stranger, she turned to me and poured out her fears about family life in the world we live in.  She was filled with dread. There’s a lot to dread. There’s a lot to fear.  That’s the meaning of the word “afraid” in Prov. 31:21.

 

The excellent wife “is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet” (v.21). She isn’t afraid of the unexpected occurring, because she has readied her heart and her home for the challenges of life. Sudden changes will come, but she won’t be caught unprepared. Her husband is blessed because of her foresight.

 

Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, so before hardship hits, live ready:

Prepare your heart –

  1. Walk with God.  Be in His Word regularly, having a habit of going to His truth for your guidance and help. Hide it in your heart.
  2. Worship God.  Practice  an attitude of gratitude to the Lord for Who He is and what He does. Don’t wait until it’s hard to rejoice.
  3. Hear God’s Voice.  Set a routine of prayer, but not routine prayer.  Learn to talk to your Father now, so you go to Him first when trials come.
  4. Fellowship with God’s People.  Women who live isolated struggle more when hardship comes. Connect with other followers of God now.

Prepare your home –

Yield your home to God’s values by letting go of the convenient, comfortable, and cultural. God wants our homes to be:

  1. peaceful
  2. orderly
  3. fruitful
  4. godly

If our hearts and homes are prepared, we’ll be free to help our husband when he needs it. We’ll be able to reach out on behalf of our family.  We’ll be able to give to others instead of being under our own load. Our heart and faith will be prepared to weather the storms that WILL come as we live out life as our husband’s wife.

 

 Today is the day to prepare for tomorrow. Every woman’s life will encounter the unexpected, so before hardship hits, live ready.   An excellent wife is prepared, and her husband is blessed because of it.

 

Fight the dread, and prepare instead!

 

  1. Are you always waiting to prepare? 
  2. What are you waiting for?
  3. What excuse do you need to confess to God and ask Him to change for a “more prepared” you?

Cross country endurance

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Endurance only happens when there is a challenge, usually accompanied by some pain.

 

This fall I’m learning so much from cross country. I’m not the runner; I’m the mother of the runner, and as I watch and cheer, I’m observing. Last week a large group of girls gathered at the start, some shooting out fast from the line to take front positions, but they couldn’t sustain it. The winners were those who were committed to their goal, prepared to go the distance, and wise enough to set a good pace.

 

When was the last time God brought a painful challenge into your life as a wife? As if to work out the P31 gal’s endurance in my own heart in a fresh way, just yesterday the Lord led me to a low place. (You can read the nitty gritty here.) I wrestled between my fleshly desires and my godly ones. A hardship tempts us to cast aside the goal of godliness with excuses like, “That Proverbs 31 wife isn’t even realistic!” The pain suggests we weren’t prepared for something “that disappointing.” We might  be inclined to just flop down, burst into tears, and whine out our troubles as if we can not be victorious … aka “meltdown.”

 

In circumstances that stretch us in life and marriage, we do our husband’s good by resisting the urge to fall apart and striving, instead, to persevere in a godly response. In times of hardship, excellence endures.  A challenge involving pain gives us opportunity to do our husband “good” by contributing our endurance.

Oh, Lord, help us be women of excellence who:

  • commit to the goal of godliness, staying focused on that goal when we are under life’s assault
  • go the distance and embrace the extra mile it takes to be excellent
  • set a pace of wisdom we can sustain in our married life

P31 isn’t just a sprinter; she is diligent all day, she makes the most of her available time, she provides what her household needs, and sets her selfishness to do what’s best for her loved ones (vv. 14-15, 18).  On the cross country trail, as well as on the marriage trail, there will be women on the course who don’t take their training seriously, and it will show in their lack of victory and in the condition in which they cross the line, if they finish. It was show in their husband’s spirit, freedom, and prosperity. Is he carrying an extra load, or doing life alongside a woman of endurance?

 

There’s no doubt the course is hard, including challenges that promise pain. We’ll see it on the faces of those around us, and we’ll display it in our own. Marriage isn’t for those who lack commitment to the goal,  readiness to go the distance, and wisdom in pacing.  The teams that win are teams that endure. Let’s make our husbands glad we’re on their team!

 

What challenge has God allowed in your life to give you the chance to endure with your man?

 

Savoring Living Water is (Almost) Here!

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Lara and Katie have been busy working on their new ebook, Savoring Living Water: How to have an effective quiet time.

The ebook releases tomorrow, and they have loads of fun things planned. You’ll want to be the first in line to snag your copy of Savoring Living Water as soon as it is available!

Be sure to check out their (Lara’s and Katie’s) posts today for more info on what’s in store. (It may involve prizes!)

No use hiding ~ A weekend riddle

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Do you remember the first time you hid your sin? Adam and Eve first tried in the garden, and we’ve been grasping for fig leaves ever since. Knowing I was born with instincts to hide, my mother chose Numbers 32:23b as the first verse I memorized, “… be sure your sin will find you out.” That truth prevented me from grabbing fig leaves out of my closet more often than I did.

Agur knew what my mom knew:   we all have a sin nature and the instinct to hide it.

In Proverbs 30:18-20 Agur presents truth for everyday life that makes sense to young and old. This man mines truth out of daily things like churning butter (v.33) and nose bleeds (v.33). A closer look out of our fig leaf coverings reveals a truth in his riddle not to be ignored.  He begins by admitting three things that are too wonderful, even “four I do not understand” (v.18).

“…the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a virgin” (v.19).

 

Like analogies on the SAT test, these four natural things share something in common. An eagle’s flight in the sky leaves no trace. A snake moving across a rock leaves no trace. A ship sailing on the sea leaves no trace. A man’s relationship with a woman leaves no visible trace. All four conceal evidence that they ever happened.

 

Like most riddles, a clue is found (verse 20): “This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and say, ‘I have done no wrong.’” We all have a sin nature and the instinct to hide it.

 

Sin may be easy to conceal when an adulteress cleans up, conceals evidence, and nonchalantly claims innocence, but it doesn’t change the truth. The eagle has flown. The snake has slithered. The ship has sailed. The man has loved. The adulterers have offended.  We may try to hide the evidence; we may try to hide our shame, but we can be sure our sin will find us out.

Adultery has many appearances. Perhaps Agur used the eagle, snake, ship, and man, so we wouldn’t fall into the trap of seeing only a beautiful seductress dressed in veils, inviting men to her lair. His riddle leaves me asking:

  • “How do I commit adultery against God by loving other things and keeping passions ‘secret’ while claiming to be a lover of God?
  • Does my public image reflect my private heart?
  • Am I committing spiritual adultery against my Love, then wiping my hands, covering my heart, and presenting false innocence to those around me?”

Lord,

Expose any wicked ways in me. Leave a trail behind me that leads me to confession and real cleansing. Thwart attempts I make at concealing my sin, and help me to be wholly Yours.

Keeping It Simple

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Sometimes simple is just better. As much as I love a yummy chocolate cheesecake, there is just no beating a warm brownie straight from the oven. (Please tell me someone else out there also has chocolate for their love language.)

Proverbs is like a good brownie … Simple and straight to the point. While other books of the Bible often require explanation to grasp the full application to life or revelation of God’s aPerson, Proverbs is basically cut and dry.

Take for example the “thirty sayings of counsel and knowledge” found in Proverbs 22:20-24:22. These instructions and directives are clear and direct.

As I looked over this passage, I realized this is a simple set of “do’s” and “don’ts.”

First, the Don’ts:

  • Don’t spend what you don’t have. Proverbs 22:26-27
  • Don’t cheat. Proverbs 22:28, 23:10-11
  • Don’t envy. Proverbs 23:1-9, 17-18
  • Don’t scheme. Proverbs 24:8-9

Now, the Do’s:

  • Do have compassion for the poor. Proverbs 22:22-23
  • Do choose friends carefully. Proverbs 22:24-25, 23:20-21, 24:1-2, 21-22
  • Do seek wisdom. Proverbs 23:12, 15-16, 19, 2-25, 24:3-7, 13-14
  • Do parent well. Proverbs 23:13-14
  • Do avoid trouble. Proverbs 23:27-35, 24:15-18
  • Do stand strong. Proverbs 24:10-12

Today, I urge you to spend some time in these Scriptures.   Perhaps as you read over the lists you realized an area in which you struggle … take it to the Lord and ask Him for strength to be obedient to His Word.   Maybe as you read, you felt the Holy Spirit guiding you to a specific action … do it.

These are simple truths, simple directives, for us as believers.  But simple doesn’t always mean easy … and as we are faithful to pattern our lives after the example of Christ and according to the Word of God, there will be challenges.   But I encourage you … don’t give up!  Stay focused on Him and His Word and give the Holy Spirit freedom to work in your life.

Which of these do’s and don’ts presents the greatest challenge to you?  

{image source: microsoft clip art}

Peace in Proverbs

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Shalom. It’s a word we’re familiar with, but it’s biblical definition is much more complex than our English word, peace. In the original language, Shalom is defined as completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfection, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord.

As we probe the precepts of Proverbs, we find that peace – or the lack thereof – is threaded throughout this wonderful book of wisdom. Although Scripture identifies three very important aspects of peace (peace with God, peace of God and peace with one another), Proverbs primarily focuses on peace with one another – with those in our homes – with our friends – – with acquaintances – with those in our churches – and with other nations.

Today, we’re going to examine peace in Proverbs and the commands and benefits of  walking in peace as well as the consequences of choosing not to.

So, let’s take a walk through the peace we find in Proverbs:

Proverbs 3:2 – Obeying God’s Commandments and walking in wisdom infuses peace into our lives.

Proverbs 3:17 – Wisdom paves a peaceful path through life.

Proverbs 6:12-15 –Wicked men who stir up strife wind up hurting themselves in the process.

Proverbs 6:16-19 – Those who sow discord among the brethren are among the six things God hates.

Proverbs 7:9-15, 10:10 – Seduction masqueraded as peace is the epitome of a hypocrite.

Proverbs 12:20 – In contrast to the demented minds of evil doers, those who plan peace find joy.

Proverbs 13:10 – Strife begins in the heart of the proud. Got pride? – no peace. Know peace? – got no pride problem.

Proverbs 15:1, 18 –  Our words can speak peace into conflicting circumstances.

Proverbs 16:7 – When our ways please the Lord it affects the way others treat us.

Proverbs 16:27-30 – The destructive influences of a strife stirrers have disastrous ramifications.

Proverbs 17:1, 21:9, 19, 25:24 – Our homes should be a haven of peace not a war zone.

Proverbs 18:19 – Restoring relationships with those who are closest to us can sometimes be the most difficult.

Proverbs 20:3, 22:10 – Avoiding confrontation with strife strates can help you be a strife stopper.

Psalm 34:14 calls us to, “Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

Peace with God is what we’re given when we become children of the Most High God (John 16:33); the peace of God is ours when our minds are fixed on Christ (Phil 4:7); peace with one another is also accomplished when we love each other well (1 Thes 5:12-14).

George Washington once said, “Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all.”

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

When you’re in your home, pursue peace. When you’re with your neighbors, pursue peace. When you’re in the company of friends, pursue peace. When you’re dealing with those in the body of Christ, pursue peace. When you have opportunity to minister in other nations, pursue peace.

When others hurt your feelings do you find it difficult to maintain peace? Would you consider your home a haven of peace? Are you a peace maker, a strife starter or a strife stopper? 

Shalom to you, sweet friends!

Hi Ho… Hi Ho… It’s off to work we go…

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The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about “work.” Now, I can hear the groans out there. I know sometimes work really does feel like a four-letter word. Work can be stressful, painful, and tiresome. But work can also be fulfilling and enjoyable. Not to mention it is usually necessary to provide for your family.

God ordained work way back in the Garden of Eden. Before the fall – before Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit – God put man in the garden to “work it and take care of it” (Genesis 2:15). Work is part of our God-given purpose. Like everything else in life, sin has warped it and made it more difficult at times, but God’s plan for us still includes work. And God’s plan is perfect!

Proverbs helps us understand how God wants us to view and approach work. Proverbs equates diligence and hard work with wisdom and godliness. In contrast, the book describes the lazy person as foolish and lacking in wisdom.

Since Proverbs repeatedly contrasts the hard worker with the lazy, let’s do that here. From what I found in God’s wisdom book, I’ve summarized a description, warnings, and results for both below.

Description of the diligent, godly worker:

  • Thoughtfully plans ahead and saves for the future
  • Wise in financial dealings; does not co-sign loans for friends
  • Honors God with His work and money
  • Helps the poor
  • Takes initiative
  • Generous with her money
  • Trusts in God, not in her money

Warnings for the godly worker:

  • Don’t be stingy; help the poor or you will lose everything
  • Don’t try to take shortcuts or engage in “get rich quick” schemes; this leads to poverty
  • Don’t trust in wealth. It is fleeting
  • Riches won’t help on the Day of Judgment

Results of hard work:

  • Will be a leader
  • Prosperity from God
  • Security for the future
  • Bring honor to God
  • Enjoy a good reputation

Description of the lazy fool:

  • Idles away her time
  • Greedy and stingy
  • All talk, no work
  • Schemes ways to “get rich quick”
  • Rests and sleeps too much
  • Fails to consider the future
  • Full of excuses

Warnings for the lazy:

  • Don’t work only when someone is watching you
  • Don’t be greedy. You are setting a trap for yourself.
  • Hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

Results of laziness:

  • She will cause pain to employer
  • She will go hungry
  • She will live in poverty
  • She will bring shame on herself

As I read through Proverbs looking for God’s wisdom about work, two related passages really impacted me. They help us put hard work in the right perspective. Yes, we are to work hard, earn money to care for our family, and plan for the future. But, we must keep money and our relationship with God in their proper places.

The name of the LORD is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe. The rich think of their wealth as an impregnable defense; they imagine it is a high wall of safety. Proverbs 18:10-11, NLT

Work hard to provide for yourself and your family, help those in need, and bring honor to God. But be careful not to trust in your wealth. It can be gone in a moment. Trust in God. He is your strong tower of defense.

Realizing this truth, the wise Agur recorded a prayer that I’d like to offer as our prayer today:

Give me neither poverty or riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich I may deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name. Proverbs 30:8b-9, NLT

May we do all our work as to the Lord, be secure in our future, but depend completely on Him.

Let’s talk: Are there characteristics of “laziness” that you struggle with? What “wise worker” characteristics do you need to ask God to grow in you?

Dwelling of the Lord {Guest Post}

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David, a man after God’s own heart and a man of war, was not going to be the man to build the First Temple. That task was given to his son Solomon. However, David drew up the plans. He said, “Solomon my son is young and inexperienced, and the house that is to be built for the LORD must be exceedingly magnificent, of fame and glory throughout all lands; I will therefore make preparation for it.” David understood the importance of building a dwelling place for the Lord. He dedicated the end of his life to gathering a great quantity of building materials for the Temple.

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The building of the First Temple was a monumental task. It was built by 30,000 Israelites; 150,000 Canaanites & even Phoenician artists. Construction began in the fourth year of Solomon’s reign and took seven years (specifics from L. Dolphin).

After reading about the details of the Temple in 1 Kings 6, we learn in the next chapter that it took 13 years to build Solomon’s personal palace.

Did you catch it? I almost missed it the first time I read it.

Solomon spent twice as long building his own palace then he spent building the dwelling of the Lord. He used twice as much of his time, energy, & resources for HIMSELF than he did for His Lord.

This was the beginning of the descent. For many years Solomon pursued a self-centered (proud) instead of a God-centered (humbled) life. He wandered away from fellowship with His God, returning only much later, near the end of the life, to record for us in his book, Ecclesiastes, what he had learned about the emptiness of all of life apart from God.

But can we really judge him? How much of our time, energy, & resources are allocated to our own interests? How much is allocated to serving the Lord?

You may think, “It’s unrealistic for me to spend twice as much time on the Lord’s work as my own!” Is it? Or are we so self-consumed that we choose comfort and convenience over sacrifice and service for His glory?

I’m just as guilty. I’ve found over the last few months that even the small amount of my day that I spend in the Word and in prayer has been cut in half. Yet my time on Twitter and Facebook as more than doubled.

What is a “realistic” solution?

  • Take note of how you spend your time during the day.
  • Evaluate your thoughts throughout the day.
  • What percentage of your thoughts and action on directed toward the “Lord’s dwelling” vs. your personal palace/kingdom?
  • Make one change today:

    • wake up early to spend time in His Word
    pray throughout the day
    find a new ministry opportunity within your giftedness
    teach your children how much God loves them
    encourage a friend with God’s hope
    count your blessings (1000 gifts)
    memorize a section of scripture

    The place in my home designated to meet with Him each morning.

    “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain… It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.” Ps 127:1-2

    Lastly, with the new covenant (Christ’s death on the cross), the Temple curtain was torn. We were given access to the Holy of Holies, the One True God. His Spirit dwells within us…the dwelling place of the Lord.

    Choose today where you will allocate your time, energy & resources…On the dwelling place of the Lord. Or on building your own personal, comfy palace.

     

     

    Heather MacFadyen has been married for 12 years, is the mother of 3 young boys (pregnant with a 4th child) and, in her “free time”, writes for her blog, www.godcenteredmom.com. Her goal is to encourage other moms (and herself) to daily clothe themselves in humility by placing God in the center, so they can serve their families with joy and to bring God glory.

     

     

    Parenting is Not for Wimps!

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    The door slams immediately following the eye roll and huffing.   And once again I’m left wondering how we got from, “Will you bring me your dirty laundry?” all the way to, “Mom, I’m not stupid!” with a few interjections of, “Now, please!” and, “I know!!” in between.

    Breathing deeply I recite Psalm 127:3 about children being a gift from the Lord and remind myself that eleven doesn’t last forever, choosing to forget that twelve will quickly be followed by teenage years.   In that moment, all I can hear is my mom’s voice saying, “I hope you have a child just like you someday!!”   And my throaty whisper, “Mom, I am so sorry.”

    Been there?   If you have a child, I imagine you have been there, are there now, or know “there” is coming back around soon.

    So, what’s a momma to do?   Taking refuge in Scripture, I often turn to Proverbs.   Knowing that these verses are filled with the wisdom that comes from experience brings me great comfort … usually that I’m not alone in whatever struggle I’m facing!

    That old “go to” verse is familiar:

    Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

    But, I know parents who have faithfully raised their children in the “nurture and admonition of  the Lord” and seen them reject the truth of God’s Word.    You probably do too.   See, proverbs are simply wise sayings or precepts (dictionary.com) not absolute promises or guarantees.

    And so, again I ask, what’s a momma to do?

    I’m learning that parenting my daughter has so much more to do with my being God’s child than it does with her being mine.   Parenting is hard work!  But so is being a child.    How many times have you struggled  with being obedient to the Heavenly Father?  Submission is tough!

    In the book of Proverbs I have found four principles of effective parenting – and in them, reminders of how I can continue to grow in my own relationship with my Father.

    1. Determine to parent character, not behavior.   Even a child makes himself known by his acts,by whether his conduct is pure and upright. ~ Proverbs 20:11   Do you focus more on good behavior or a pure heart in your children?  Our focus in childrearing must be on our children’s hearts!  Yes, we must teach appropriate behavior but at the core, effective parenting seeks to build a child’s character based on the truth of God’s Word.
    2. Desire wisdom for our children.  My son, if your heart is wise,my heart too will be glad. ~ Proverbs 23:15   Are you praying that your child will exhibit wisdom?   We need to be intentional about encouraging wise choices and wise thinking in the lives of our children.
    3. Develop an eternal focus at home.  By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. ~ Proverbs 24:3-4    What is the focus in your home?  Is it temporal or eternal?   Build your home with an eternal passion … engaging your children in sharing the Gospel, reaching the poor and oppressed, and ministering to the widows and orphans.
    4. Discipline with purpose.  The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother… Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. ~ Proverbs 29:15, 17  We must not be afraid to discipline our children; likewise, we must be willing to question our motives and purposes in discipline.  Scripture tells us that a loving father will discipline his son but, as one who has experienced the discipline of the Father, that discipline is never rooted in anger, fear, or comparison.
    These tween years are tough … but so were the toddler years and I am pretty sure the teen years will bring challenges I cannot today imagine.   Parenting is not for wimps – whether your child is 2 or 52.   We’ve got to be soaking ourselves in the Word of God in order to begin to do it well.

     

    What is your greatest parenting challenge and how do you find wisdom to manage it?

    The Wife Your Marriage Needs

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    Photo from Photobucket

    If you’ve been married more than six months you know that marriage isn’t always easy.

    In Ephesians 5:23-33 we’re told the Christian marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church – a beautiful example to the world of what true sacrificial love and oneness looks like. Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is equal to that of the world.

    Some have the benefit of their parent’s godly example of a good, strong marriage, but most don’t. There is no How to Do This Marriage Right manual handed out when we say “I Do”. Even as I write this, I realize many of you may be in messy marriages. Perhaps you feel like you’re shriveling up in a dry and barren relationship or maybe you just know things could be better on the home front.

    My prayer is that you’ll have a fresh understanding that our marriages are much more about our relationship with God than they are about our relationships with our husbands.

    My prayer for those of you who are hurting and on the edge is that God will make a miracle out of your marriage.

    I learned along time ago that I can’t fix my man – but I’m not accountable to God for him.  I am, however, accountable for how I act and react in my marriage.

    We may not be handed a marriage manual when we say, “I do” but we have the greatest guidebook available…the Word of God. So as we peruse through Proverbs, let’s commit to be doers of the Word and not hearers only regardless of what our husbands do or don’t do.

    I promise you, sweet friend, it may not change your man (he has to work on his own issues) but it will certainly change you in the midst of your marriage and help you become the woman your marriage needs.

    It’s interesting to note that Proverbs doesn’t give our men many words of wisdom about marriage. Perhaps that’s because with 1,000 women in the house, Solomon was wise enough to know that if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

    But we do find two very important directives for every husband to live by:

    • Love your wife well and be faithful to her (Proverbs 5:18, 6:28-29).

    After all, that’s what the heart of every woman longs for – a man who will really love her ’til the end. When he really loves her, he’ll put her needs before his own; he’ll protect her and provide for her; he’ll try to understand the longings of her heart; he’ll even make those late-night trips to the store for Midol, ice cream and a movie – because when he loves her well… he loves her with his life. That’s what sacrificial love looks like.

    Words of Wisdom for the Wife:

    The best list of traits that should identify a Christian wife are found in the oh-so-intimidating verses of Proverbs 31:10-31. 

    • She’s a woman of strong character whom her husband can trust to do what is good and right for him and their family. Her man can trust her with his heart, his home and his finances (Proverbs 31:10-12).

    • She’s a wise, diligent, hard-working woman who takes care of herself, her hubby and her household. She’s much too busy to be found sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching soap operas all day (Proverbs 31:13-19,21-22,24).

    • She has a servant’s heart and ministers to the poor (Proverbs 31:20).

    • She is a woman of dignity who is wise with her words and, much like a boy scout, is always prepared for the unexpected (Proverbs 31:25-27).

    • Like a pillar, she upholds her husband and helps him become all he can be. In the process she garners the praise of her man and their children. Her own works sing her praises, as well (Proverbs 31:23,28).

    • She understands that true beauty is found in a heart that fears the Lord. Her life comes from the overflow of her relationship with God (Proverbs 31:10).

    More Words for the Wife from Proverbs:

    • A good wife is a priceless treasure to her husband (Proverbs 12:4, 18:22, 31:10).

    • A prudent and understanding wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22, 19:14).

    • An irritable, quarrelsome, critical and complaining wife can make a man wish he never said, “I do” (Proverbs 21:9, 25:24, 27:15).

    Being the wife your man needs will make you the wife your marriage needs – and vice versa. It isn’t always easy. It’s a day by day diligent and intentional effort of the heart. But we work on being the wife our marriage needs because our marriage is to be an overflow of our relationship with God and a picture of Christ and the church.

    As you read through the words of wisdom from Proverbs, did you see any areas you need to work on as a wife? Do you have any godly counsel you can share with other wives that would help them become the women their marriage needs?

     

     

     

    A Parent’s Plea

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    Kathy and her son Mark

    {Such a great post .. we’re linking it to Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda’s!  Better two weeks late than never!! ~ Teri Lynne}

    In just over a week, my husband and I will be taking our son, our youngest, to college. So many questions and concerns pop in and out of my head as the day draws near. Things like:

    • Will he take his studies seriously?
    • Will he make friends and feel connected?
    • Will he make church a priority?
    • Will he stand firm in the truth he has been taught?
    • Will he always have clean underwear?

    For eighteen years we have taught him God’s truth and tried to live it out before him. We shared our “learned by experience” wisdom with our son, praying that he would not have to learn all these lessons the hard way. The closer the day of his departure draws the more urgent the message becomes. Now he has to make it his own. He has to live it out for himself.

    In the book of Proverbs, the father also admonishes his son to live in God’s wisdom. In the first seven chapters we see ten specific “appeals to wisdom.” The father’s directives include reasons the son should comply. The father says “don’t” or “do” then follows it with a benefit or consequence. (He knew his son would want to know “why” he should heed his father’s advice.)

    These ten passages are packed with much more wisdom and godly advice than we have room to cover here. I have merely summarized the father’s advice. I encourage you to take the time to read the passages and mull over the wisdom found there. Here’s my summary:

    1.      Proverbs 1:8-19
    Appeal: Don’t be swayed to go after “ill-gotten” gain.
    Why: Greed fosters all kinds of immoral and illegal behavior that will be your undoing.

    2.      Proverbs 2:1-22
    Appeal: Diligently seek after and follow wisdom and understanding.
    Why: Then you will know what it means to fear God and your knowledge of Him will multiply.

    3.      Proverbs 3:1-12
    Appeal: Fear God by acknowledging, trusting, obeying, and honoring Him.
    Why: God will guide and strengthen you.

    4.      Proverbs 3:21-35
    Appeal: Diligently preserve sound judgment and discernment.
    Why: You will be secure in the Lord’s guidance and protection.

    5.      Proverbs 4:1-9
    Appeal: Honor wisdom and do not forsake it.
    Why: You will enjoy full life, security, and honor.

    6.      Proverbs 4:10-19
    Appeal: Stay on the path of righteousness and avoid the way of evil.
    Why: You will avoid obstacles and will not stumble.

    7.      Proverbs 4:20-27
    Appeal: Guard your heart and watch your mouth.
    Why: You will live a full life and enjoy good health.

    8.      Proverbs 5:1-23
    Appeal: Maintain sexual purity.
    Why: Lust is a snare that leads to heartache and ruin.

    9.      Proverbs 6:20-35
    Appeal: Run from lust and adultery.
    Why: Adultery destroys and brings disgrace.

    10.  Proverbs 7:1-27
    Appeal: Don’t succumb to seduction.
    Why: It leads to death.

    Hmm. All sound advice. For our children. For us. May we teach it to our sons and daughters. May we heed it ourselves.

    God Will Give You More Than You Can Handle

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    {As I read Sandra’s posts, I couldn’t help but be drawn to the one I’m sharing with you today. In today’s ‘SandraPeoples.blogspot.com‘ post, she reminds us that while clichés may seem like nice, wise things to say, it’s best to stay biblical when we give advice. I love the way Sandra is wise beyond her years and consistently calls us to be strong in the faith and grounded in the Word! As you read this post, I know you’ll see that too!}

    God Will Give You More Than You Can Handle

    Original post – MONDAY, JANUARY 24, 2011

    PhotobucketThere’s a cliche Christian phrase that I believe does more harm than it does good. It may make us feel all warm and reassured, but it’s actually a lie.

    The truth is–
    God will give you more than you can handle.

    As a parent, part of my job is to encourage my boys to become independent. As they grow, they will rely on me less and less. Our Heavenly Father wants us to become dependent on Him. As we grow in godliness, we rely on Him more and more.

    To help my boys learn, I give them opportunities to show their independence from me. God gives us opportunities to show our dependence on Him.

    I give my boys tasks I know they can handle so they gain confidence. God gives us tasks we can’t handle so we gain humility.

    When consoling and counseling friends, let’s stop saying God won’t give you more than you can handle. Let’s start telling the truth–God will never leave your or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). In this world, we will have tribulation, but Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33). The Lord is a stronghold in times of trouble (Psalm 9:9).

    The truth of His Word brings more comfort than a cliche phrase!

    You need to decide! Five scriptures to the rescue

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    How many decisions do you make in a day?

    You breeze through most without much thought. But occasionally one will paralyze you.

    You want to make the God-honoring choice, if only you knew what that was! You’ve already prayed and prayed (right?). But now you’re stuck.

    What do you do next?

    Here are five principles from scripture that help:

    1. Tune out distractions and tune in God’s voice

    The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.
    ~ Psalm 119:130

    Ask yourself if the world is shouting so loudly—through the internet, TV, shopping malls, friends, etc.—that it’s drowning out God’s answer to your prayer. First, turn off ungodly influences (Romans 12:2).

    Then, press in hard to hear God.

    If your hearing has gone bad from poor spiritual habits, build those back up. Search the scriptures for biblical principles that apply to your dilemma. Use reference tools to study verses in full context. Look for God’s character in the stories you read and see how you can best mirror His character with the choice you need to make.

    2. Seek godly counsel from others

    Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
    ~ Proverbs 19:20

    After you’re internally preached the Word to yourself, listen to external preaching from godly mentors around you. Who in your church has walked this path? Has God intentionally placed someone in your path? Is there a mature Christian in your family who can advise you? Are there experts in the field—in person, in print—that can give you additional information?

    After receiving this extra input, ask God again for clarity in sorting through it.

    Look for threads of similar advice and principles that you may have overlooked in your initial thinking.

    3. Narrow down your choices

    And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
    ~ Colossians 3:17

    After laying out your options, cross out the ones least likely to honor God, and circle the ones that could bring Him the most glory. Humbly confront your motives: do certain choices appeal more to YOU than to Him (James 4:3)? Eliminate options that are more about saving face and keeping control than about pleasing the Father.

    Remember: choices that honor Him will ultimately be in your best interest too.

    If certain choices are time-contingent, and the pace seems out of God’s timing—either too rushed or too prolonged—discard those as well. While waiting on the Lord may be difficult (Psalm 27:14), He can build up your strength during the wait (Isaiah 40:31). And His outcomes are always worth waiting for.

    4. Do something

    But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
    ~ James 1:22

    On the other hand, if you’re only waiting because you’re too scared to act, set fear aside and step out in faith (Joshua 1:9).

    If you’ve sought God through prayer, Bible study, godly counsel, and appropriate pacing, place your confidence in Him and quit delaying the decision. Just make it! Trust that God is true to His word—you ask in faith for wisdom; He generously supplies it (James 1:5-6).

    He is more than willing and able to accomplish His works through you (Philippians 1:6).

    5. Give thanks for the results He’ll bring

    The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
    ~ Psalm 28:7

    Instead of second-guessing the decision you’ve now made, give thanks for it. Look forward to how God will bless it. Believe that He will work good out of your choice (Romans 8:28). Rest in the peace He’s sent you to guard your heart and mind (Philippians 4:6-7).

    As you enhance your spiritual sensitivity to follow God’s guidance, making decisions still may not always come easily, but you can grow in your confidence that the Lord is leading you.

    He will bless your obedience as you strive to honor Him with your choices.

    Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
    ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

    What about you?

    Do you have a hard decision you’re trying to make right now?
    What helps you decide when you don’t know what to do?
    Are there special scriptures you turn to? Please share!

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