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Our Sins, God’s Grace – Series Wrap Up

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Our Sins, God's Grace... read more about sins Believers can struggle with and the grace of God at DoNotDepart.com
This whole month here at DND we’ve looked at sin and we hope you aren’t walking away feeling down.

We focused on some disheartening things like:

  • Anger.  Do you give vent to your anger? I did. But God convicted me and revealed a solution: Him! He forgives, helps, and strengthens us to do better.
  • Adultery.  Kelli shares her story with us about how it feels to be “that” Christian– the one who’s been divorced and remarried. She reminds us that when Jesus forgives, our sin is forgiven completely.
  • Worry.  How can we silence it? Lisa gave us 3 words to help quiet our worry and reminds us of the benefits of intentional prayer.
  • Unbelief.  Caroline showed us how unbelief comes from lack of faith and trust. But when we reconnect with God, He graciously fill us with wholeness that strengthens our faith.
  • Pride.  Patti reminded us that pride puffs us up like inflatable beach toys… filled with nothing. But God’s grace pricks our balloon hearts.

We hope that you walk away marveling at the sweet grace of God that convicts us, leads us to repentance, and covers that sin completely.

We started the series off with a verse from Proverbs. Let’s finish with it, too. Read it slowly and let it sink in deep. Let it remind you of how blessed you are because of Christ’s gift of blood that washes away all your sin.

 “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” Psalm 32:1-2

Rest in His grace, friends. …His grace to convict, help us avoid sin, His Word that arms us to fight, and the precious Sacrifice of His Son. All grace…

#OurSinsGod’sGrace… series re-cap at DoNotDepart. Anger, Adultery, Worry, Unbelief, and Pride.

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Puffed Up With Pride

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Pride makes us seem substantial, when all it is is air. The grace of God pricks our hearts and grows us in humility.
 

She said it to me at the end of bible study, after we had finished our discussion and prayed, and were getting ready to head home in the dark to our families: You know, I didn’t like you when we first met. You seemed stand-offish. Snooty.

My heart beat hard with surprise as the words clanged in my head. Shocked, I mumbled self-deprecating words to my long-time friend. I know first impressions can be misleading, so I tried to force my brain to move on from her words, but my heart could not let go. I kept thinking about it all that night and the next day.

How had I conveyed this to her? Could it be that this was the impression I was giving people regularly? Did I come across as prideful? Was I prideful?

 

A Definition of Pride

God hates pride. It’s that simple. In Proverbs 8, wisdom cries out:

The fear of the  Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. Proverbs 8:13 (ESV)

What is pride? I like this explanation from Gerald Cohen in The Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary:

Pride is easier to recognize than to define, easier to recognize in others than in oneself. Many biblical words describe this concept, each with its own emphasis. Some of the synonyms for pride include arrogance, presumption, conceit, self-satisfaction, boasting, and high-mindedness. It is the opposite of humility, the proper attitude one should have in relation to God. Pride is rebellion against God because it attributes to oneself the honor and glory due to God alone.

There are many Greek words used in the New Testament that are synonyms of pride. Several of them can be translated “puffed up” or “inflated”.

When we are prideful we might look substantial, but in fact we are like blow up beach toys – filled with emptiness and puffed up with air.

 

The Deception of Pride

Can you imagine going to Jesus and asking Him to make your sons the most important people in His kingdom? That is exactly what James and John’s mother did:

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” He said to them, “You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:20-28 (ESV)

Wanting the best for our children is human nature, isn’t it? And Zebedee’s wife was obviously willing to risk the embarrassment of begging from Jesus. But the woman had it all upside down. Her pride in and for her children (and by extension herself) drove her to ask the inconceivable from the Lord Himself.

Her request displayed a complete lack of understanding of Jesus’ message. She had been deceived by her own pride into thinking that the best thing for her sons was power, when in God’s economy, that was the worst thing.

I’m afraid that many parents (yes even Christian parents) can identify with the mother of James and John. We want our children to do well. And we make the worldly mistake of thinking that what things look like on the outside has real value. We forget about eternity

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:16-17 (ESV)

Pride deceives us into valuing what God does not value!

The pride of your heart has deceived you Obadiah 1:3a (ESV)

Pride separates us from God. When we puff up with pride, we rely on ourselves – on our abilities and our circumstances – to guide and sustain us. How little it takes to prick that balloon and deflate us!

For though the Lord is exalted, yet He regards the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar. Psalm 138:6 (NASB)

 

God’s Solution – Humility

The world bases its priorities on feelings and customs which change. The only antidote to pride is to align myself with God and His priorities. Pride makes me in charge of setting the priorities. Humility means allowing God to be in charge.

Living in alignment with God’s will means having a true perspective of ourselves. It could be argued that understanding our place in the world and who we are in Christ is in itself humility.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 (ESV)

My children learned a little ditty years ago in Sunday School class: First is worst, second is best, third is the one with the treasure chest. In God’s world order, the smallest and the weakest, the one who receives the least honor… this is the one who is greatest.

Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:4 (ESV)

 

Rest is the Result of Repentance from Pride

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8 (ESV)

If we are to model our lives after Jesus, we have no choice but to be humble. I just love what Jesus says is the result of choosing to be gentle and humble like Him:

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29-30 (NASB)

Rest! Don’t we all want more rest? Rest from worrying about our positions, rest from fretting about what people think of us, rest from the endless proving that we are smart or beautiful or powerful. Blessed rest.

When we turn away from navel-gazing and our puffed up desires to follow our own worldliness, we turn toward our gentle and humble Lord, Who lightens the load and gives rest to our exhausted souls.

 

God’s Grace

And what about my friend’s initial impression of me? Eight years have passed since that first meeting, so I can’t rightly say what was at the root of it. I do know that I struggle with pride in some areas of my life, and I know that God often confronts me with the uncomfortable parts of myself. Painful as that is, it is a grace to me, for it humbles me and reminds me how desperately I need Him. He pricks my balloon and lets out all my prideful air!

As I have thought through the whole situation, I have had to roll my eyes at myself – even my reaction to finding out my friend’s first impression was prideful. The chains of people pleasing are heavy indeed. What joy that our Lord is a bondage breaker!

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 (ESV)

I am thankful for the love and friendship my friend and I share, and that I can walk in the grace that God gives as He grows me in humility… more and more and more grace.

Pride puffs like air. The grace of God pricks our balloon-hearts. #OurSinsGodsGrace

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Believing Through the Muck of Unbelief

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Believing Through the Muck of Unbelief - DoNotDepart.com
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As much as I want to fight it and deny it, I’m a worrier.

I’ve tried to reason through the source of worries to send them away. They come from confusion (what’s the best answer/path?), they come from perfectionism (what if I make a mistake?), and they come from fear (what will happen?)

But the one that I have to consistently remind myself of? They come from lack of faith and trust.

When Left to My Own

When we think of ‘do not worry’ verses, many of us may think of Matthew 6:25-34.

And every single one of those verses is great.

But look at the beginning of Matthew 6:25:

“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is  not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?”

Look at that first word: therefore. Several people over the years have said whenever you see ‘therefore,’ you need to look at what’s before.

And what’s before this section, in Matthew 6:19-24? It’s all about what we store in our hearts.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21

Worry and lack of faith and lack of trust fill up our hearts and our minds with division and doubt.

By nature, we’re created to hold on to something. When we don’t hold on to faith, we hold on to a mess of other things: worry, theology in a box, expectations, addictions, anger, self-sufficiency. But none of these things fill those holes.

But God

Strengthening faith doesn’t negate our physical needs or otherwise. We still need strength, we still need healing, we still need provision.

But all this points to needing wholeness. You need wholeness; I need wholeness; my amazing kids and husband need wholeness. And the only place we can receive that is through connection (or reconnection, really) with Who made us.

Christ follows the previously mentioned section with our famous verses on worry (Matthew 6:25-34):

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? … Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? …

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you–you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, an your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

I often liken worrying to forgetting and to lacking. Lacking faith in His presence, His ability, and, really, His desire to show me grace-filled love. I’ve plain forgotten the hundreds of times God has spelled it out in the Bible that He provides, He loves, He sustains. What does forgetting do except add more worry and lack of faith?

So here’s what I’ve begun doing recently: I don’t know if it really ‘works’ yet, but I think it’s a start. When I feel that spiral of lacking faith in some capacity or another (because it always feels like a sinking, downward spiral), I pray out Mark 9:24:

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

Want another resource on growing in faith?

Check out our “By Faith” series on Hebrews 11 here.

How do you renew your strength and faith through doubt and worry?

By nature, we’re created to hold on to something. When we don’t hold on to faith, we hold on to a mess of other things:

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All of our faults point to needing wholeness, and wholeness takes reconnection through grace:

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Teaching Our Kids to Live Gutsy for God: A Book Series and Free Resources

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Encourage your kids to live with gutsy faith! Read about Amy Sullivan's new book "Gutsy Girls: Corrie and Betsie ten Boom".
Parents, grandparents, and ministry leaders, be sure to scroll to the bottom of this post for free resources and activities which accompany this book.

If I think hard enough, I can remember times in my life when I acted bravely.

In sixth grade, I confronted a neighborhood bully who stole my jeans from a local Laundromat.

In ninth grade, I took on a gaggle of teens who were making fun of a student with disabilities.

When I was twenty-three, I planted myself in the middle of an isolated Navajo Reservation and loved on kids who were not my own.

When I was thirty, I hiked up a mountain with twenty-seven teenage boys. At the end of the trail, the boys and I took turns flipping off a twenty-foot cliff into the water.

When I was thirty-two, I discovered the power in praying for people I don’t know and places I’ve never been.

But if I think of right now, and I think of forty-one-year-old me, I can’t say my life is full of brave acts, and I am not just talking about flip-off-a-cliff-bravery. I am talking about living in obedience to God bravery. When I feel the Holy Spirit asking me to do something, I don’t want to evaluate it. I want to trust and act.

I want to live with gutsy faith, and I want my daughters to live this faith, too.

 

Let’s Introduce Our Kids to Real Heroes, Godly Heroes

Confession time: my daughters have known who the Kardashians are for a long time, but they have only recently been introduced to Lillian Thrasher. They know about Miley Cyrus, but they know nothing of Elisabeth Elliot. They can recite facts about Taylor Swift’s childhood, but they aren’t sure why Mother Teresa is well-known.

I know. I can feel you shaking your head at my seemingly lax parenting, but what I’ve discovered is that despite internet filters, restrictions on TV shows, preset radio stations, and bans on all things trashy, the world is determined to tell my kids whom to admire.

I pump gas while a video screen pumps footage of a scandal involving an NBA player. I stand in line at the grocery store, and another screen reports the details of a fallen starlet’s latest escapades. I go to the library, and magazines and newspapers document the beachfront mansion bought by a girl who is famous for simply being famous. The world shouts, and my daughters take it in.

My kids aren’t bombarded with real heroes. Instead, they are bombarded with the world’s heroes, and I am determined to change that.

 

A New Picture Book Series to Encourage Young Believers

If you combine my sincere prayer for my daughters to know what it’s like to live gutsy for God with my fierce determination to provide my girls with real heroes, you get Gutsy Girls: Strong Christian Women Who Impacted the World.

This picture book series focuses on one woman per book, but the second book (which just released!) in the series highlights sisters, Corrie and Betsie ten Boom.

 

Encourage your kids to live with gutsy faith! Read about Amy Sullivan's new book "Gutsy Girls: Corrie and Betsie ten Boom".
 

The ten Boom sisters weren’t flashy or popular. They were two women from the Netherlands. The sisters lived with their father during World War II and witnessed unspeakable horrors in a time in which great evil flourished.

 

Parents, grandparents, and ministry leaders, be sure to scroll to the bottom of this post for free resources and activities which accompany this book.
 

However, instead of cowering in fear, the sisters, Corrie and Betsie, acted bravely in God’s name.

They created a secret wall in their home and hid people who were in danger. Corrie and Betsie developed codes to keep individuals Nazi soldiers hunted safe. After the sisters were arrested, they boldly shared about Jesus in concentration camps. Even when Corrie and Betsie were stripped of all worldy possessions, they continued to teach about Jesus’ great love.

The ten Boom sisters lived gutsy for God. They lived in obedience. Corrie and Betsie didn’t allow fear to stop them from following the God’s plans.

What role models. What faith. What women I want my kids to know.

 

Free Resources and Activities

As parents, grandparents, and ministry leaders, we are constantly looking for resources to keep our kids in the Word and encourage them as believers.

Encourage your kids to live with gutsy faith! Read about Amy Sullivan's new book "Gutsy Girls: Corrie and Betsie ten Boom".
Book One of the Gutsy Girls series focuses on real-life missionary, Gladys Aylward.

To help with this enormous task, I’ve created lesson plans, printable graphics, an enrichment packet (which includes geography, math, reading, and writing activities!), and Gutsy Girls printable verses, which accompany the Gutsy Girls picture books, and I want to share these resources with you!

Click here to download resources now.

In addition, I also host an online book club specifically designed to discover and discuss books written to inspire girls to be smart, bold, and godly. Within this Facebook group, members are given special VIP access to authors who write for children.

Click here to join us and to get special VIP access to authors who write for girls.

Thanks for reading this month’s installment of Let the Children Come! I pray you create space today to live gutsy for God. It is my hope that these resources find their way into lots of little hands. 

 

Amy L. Sullivan is the author of the children’s picture book series, [amazon_link id=”B014S06JJI” target=”_blank” ]Gutsy Girls: Strong Christian Women Who Impacted the World[/amazon_link] and the nonfiction book [amazon_link id=”1941103243″ target=”_blank” ]When More is Not Enough[/amazon_link]. Amy shares regularly at AmyLSullivan.com, and she also writes for oodles of online and print publications. Find her at AmyLSullivan.com.

 

Are your girls gutsy for God like the ten Boom sisters? A new kids’ book from @AmyLSullivan1

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Christian girls need godly role models like the women in @AmyLSullivan1’s series Gutsy Girls

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3 Words to Silence Your Worries

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“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”
Isaiah 41:10 (The Message)

[Please note: This post is only about garden-variety worrying, not mental anxiety due to biological or other causes. See “Where Is God in Mental Illness” for the latter.]

What’s Worrying You Today?

  • Will violence break out where I am or where my loved ones are?
  • If our car breaks down again, how will we pay for it?
  • Why does my daughter keep getting headaches?
  • Will I ever find the right spouse/friend/church/____?
  • What am I supposed to do with my life?
  • Am I a lousy parent after what I said this morning?

And this classic one:

  • Why can’t I stop worrying?

Unfortunately, many of us worry too much. I know I do. Despite that Jesus said don’t do it:

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?'”
Matthew 6:31 (NIV)

What’s Wrong with Worrying?

Worrying is painful. It steals our joy. It hurts those around us. It wastes our energy. It leads us to doubt God’s goodness.

So why do we worry? Perhaps because we think if we catch the bad thing in time, we can prevent it from happening. As if our worrying can stop it before it’s too late.

But of course our worrying does not solve problems. It just creates new ones. It divides our minds, births discontentment, and prevents us from thinking about things that would be beneficial.

The word “anxious” in the Greek, merimnao, comes from merizo, “to divide,” and nous, “the mind.”

Worrying = a divided mind

Worrying pulls us in many directions instead of keeping us focused and together.

3 Words to Quiet Worry

So what can we do about worrying? Self-discipline doesn’t work. Denying problems exists doesn’t work. Entertaining it away doesn’t work. Trying to control the circumstance or person doesn’t work.

Instead, the next time your mind is distracted with worry, try using these three words as you pray to silence your mind’s chatter.

1. Jesus

There is power in the name of Jesus. Focus on Him (Hebrews 12:2; Colossians 3:1). Call on His peace. Say and believe His words, not your own.

If you’ve been memorizing Matthew 6 with us the past few months, think about this: every minute you spent focusing on Jesus’s words was one minute you didn’t spend worrying about your own troubles. It’s not vain repetition to say over and over, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” It’s wise. He’s listening and answering, even if you’re unaware of how.

2. Here

Many of our worries come from things that might happen “over there,” not what’s actually happening “right here.” Draw your attention away from “what if” and instead accept “what is” actually happening, even if it’s hard stuff. Look for how God is working in it. Count the blessings you can see (Isaiah 12:4-5). Choose gratitude for what you find and let the peace of Christ displace the worrying (Colossians 3:15).

Use Philippians 4:8 as a guide to help you see what is right here to be grateful for. And to help you respond to what is right here instead of simply worrying about something somewhere else.

3. Now

Correct the time-shift problem: get out of the future and come back to the present. God has fresh supplies of grace for us every single day (Lamentations 3:23), but He only gives them to us one day at a time. In this day, open your hand to receive this day’s grace instead of reaching out for tomorrow’s grace, too. Now is the when of God’s presence.

Our beliefs that future outcomes will be bad is the root of much of our anxiety. But if we can return back to now, seeing that God is always with us in this very moment, we can better trust He’ll be equally faithful in the days to come. [Read A Daily Dose to Overcome Anxiety.]

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
Matthew 6:34 (The Message)

Benefits of Jesus—Here—Now

Saying these three words to ourselves when we worry, “Jesus, Here, Now,” is not a magic mantra to stop our worrying. But it can be an exercise of intentional prayer to bring us back to this moment of grace and find hope again. We can think more clearly, more positively, and be more available to others.

God promises us a mind of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). Not fear. Not confusion. Not worries.

I’m still learning how to accept this gift of peace in the moment. I’m not there yet. I’m still not totally comfortable with uncertainty.

But I continue to reach for contentment with today’s grace instead of worrying about its potential lack in the future. And I am making progress.

May we all encourage each other to accept God’s grace in the name of Jesus, in this here, right now.

Jesus. Here. Now.

Try these 3 words to silence your worries. #OurSinsGodsGrace

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Do you struggle with worry, too? Which word stands out most to you: Jesus, Here, or Now? Please share in the comments.

Our Sins, God's Grace

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When You’re That Christian — the Divorced & Remarried One

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“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart… Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew‬ ‭5:27-28, 31-32‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)

These verse can make me squirm. They can make me uncomfortable. They can make me feel guilt and shame. Why? Because I’m that Christian. The one who has been married, divorced, and… wait for it… remarried!

Now I don’t mean to make light of who I am and what I’ve done. I am a sinner. No doubt about it. My actions, my choices, my mistakes are deserving of death. I have not lived up to God’s holy standard. And I know it. So what do I do about it?

There was a point in my life when I thought I had to fix my sin. I thought I had to make myself and my circumstances right if I wanted to please God. But the truth is I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t fix or make things right. I don’t have that ability and if I tried I’d just make things worse.

I grew up in a religious culture that insisted that you could not enter the kingdom of God if you had been divorced and remarried. That if you were to even have a shot at those pearly gates you’d have to undo your second marriage and reconcile your first. Imagine how incredibly complicated this could be. Imagine it if you had children. Imagine the hurt and destruction a person could cause if they attempted to fix their sin in this situation.

The point I’m trying to make here is that you can’t fix your sin. What is done is done. There is no going back. There is no undoing. Whether it’s divorce and remarriage, whether it’s lustful looking, whether it’s an in-your-face sexual affairs, there is no fixing.

But that’s not the end of the story.

If you were to keep reading in Matthew you would not find Jesus giving instructions on how to fix your divorce and/or remarriage situation. You wouldn’t find Him telling you how to undo your unclean thought. He just calls adultery what it is, sin and then He moves on to the next topic. Why? Because we don’t have the ability to solve our sin problem. The solution only comes from Him. And a few chapter later in Matthew He will offer that solutions fully and completely — The Cross.

You see, I can come to these verse and get all squirming and uncomfortable. I can try to come up with a way to solve my sin problem. Or I could try to ignore these verse and my sin problem all together.

Or… (And this is the best or).

Or I could turn to Jesus. I can simply repent of my sin, confess my guilt and have faith in the cleansing power of His blood. I can have faith that I am a daughter of the King, who is no longer seen as an adulterous, but rather as righteous and holy because of the saving grace of Jesus Christ (Romans 3:22-24, 2 Corinthians 5:21).

His blood, when I come to the foot of the cross, is the only escape I have from the penalty of death, death which I deserve.

So, what do I do about my adultery? What do I do with my sin problem? I believe that Jesus has already taken care of it. That the penalty has been paid. That “it is finished” (John 19:30). And I am His.

Lord in heaven, thank You for sending Your Son to the cross and dying for my adultery. I ask that You teach me to appreciate Your sacrifice more. I also ask that anyone who may be reading this and who believes that they must fix their sin will begin to see the truth of Your gospel. That they will be freed from guilt and shame and begin to live in the peace and rest that comes from believing in Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Friends, if you are still struggling with sin that you have repented of please know that you truly are forgiven. You are loved and accepted by your Heavenly Father because of what Jesus has done on your behalf. Enjoy this good news and ask the Lord to teach to live in the His rest.

Only by grace,

Kelli

Giving Vent to Anger? Don’t be a Fool!

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“A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.” Proverbs 29:11

When I was a little girl, my parents would jokingly say that my temper was due to my red hair.

Now that I’m an adult, people are usually surprised to find that I occasionally have a temper. Friends often say that they can’t imagine me being angry.

Little do they know the journey I’ve trekked to get from the fiery little girl to the (usually) calm woman.

It wasn’t until I was married with children that I really started to realize that even infrequent angry outbursts could cause big problems.

Giving Vent to Anger? Don't be a Fool! Read more about the sin of anger and the sweet remedy of God's grace at DoNotDepart.com
Here’s an embarrassing confession: I remember a day when my husband and I were newlyweds and we got into an argument. I became so angry that I backhanded my full glass of grape juice and knocked it flying off the coffee table. It sent the spray of dark sweetness splashing across the spines of our brand new encyclopedia set. One that we could little afford at the time, I might add.

I can’t even remember what that argument was about, but I still have the stains on the book spines to remember my fully vented anger. Not proud.

I wish I could say that was my only angry outburst over the years. Sadly, I can’t. But what I can say is that particular situation was a stepping stone to understanding just how detrimental anger could be. God used that ugly moment to confront my sin.

Yes, angry outbursts are sin. (Actually, any anger other than anger directed at wickedness is a sin.) And we Believers aren’t immune. Do I still get angry at times? Sure. But I’m learning to take my frustrations, hurt, impatience, and other feelings to Him before they develop into full-blown anger. I’m learning to hold back.

I’ve heard testimonies of people who were instantly healed of anger when they became a Christian. I love those stories and to see God’s power displayed like that. But for me (and maybe you?), it’s been different. It’s been a gradual process… a slow metamorphosis… and I’m not quite finished yet. I still feel an adrenaline surge when I get frustrated. I still have to bite my tongue (sometimes literally) when I want to use snapping, curt words. I still have to stop and pray and breathe out. Slowly.

It was more than 20 years ago that the Lord used the grape juice incident to open my eyes to see that flares of heated anger are destructive to yourself, others, and are even your physical surroundings. And isn’t that what Satan wants? He comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

But God wants better for us.

The Lord also helped me to see that being angry like that was pure foolishness. I had witnessed the second part of Proverbs 14:1 in action. It was time to choose to find a remedy or continue plucking away at my home and all that my husband and I were working to build.

“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1

I’m thankful that He’s taught me that He’s the remedy. God forgives me when I repent. He helps me to do better. And He even strengthens me when I feel too weak to do better. He brings scripture to mind, responds when I call out to Him, and allows His peace to flood my heart in place of indignation.

And the sweetest thing? Jesus washes away all my sins. Oh, what grace!

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

Yes, my encyclopedias are still stained and serve as a physical reminder not to let my anger get the best of me. But you know what? My soul is not stained… Jesus’ blood serves as a spiritual reminder that through His work, I’m white like wool!

He does all of this for me, and He’ll do it for you… because He’s that kind of God– the kind that wants all of His children to look more like His only begotten Son. So, He picks us up when we fail, cleans us up, and helps us to know better, to do better, and He gives us a wise heart so we don’t have to be foolish any longer.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Proverbs 9:10

How has God helped you deal with anger?

Giving Vent to Anger? Don’t be a Fool! #OurSinsGodsGrace

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Do you struggle with the sin of anger? God is the remedy. #OurSinsGodsGrace

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Our Sins, God’s Grace

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Our Sins, God's Grace... read more about sins Believers can struggle with and the grace of God at DoNotDepart.com
Oh, sin.

It’s a debbie-downer to the Christian life, isn’t it? We’d rather talk about grace, love, and joyful things.

Rightly so. Grace and love are what Christianity are founded upon.

But we also need to remember sin. It’s why Jesus came to us in the first place. It’s by His death and the shedding of His blood that the ugly stain of sin is washed away.

The Bible mentions sins more times that I can find a record for. If you do some searching, you may find (like I did) estimates that “sin” is mentioned from 700 to 1000 in God’s word.

But these estimates are off and here’s why:

  • In the Old Testament alone, the top two Hebrew words used for sin exist 966 times. And there are eight different Hebrew words that depict sin.
  • In the New Testament, about 12 different words for sin exist and are used many hundreds of times.

So the estimates are off because not every word that means sin is translated specifically as “sin.” Sometimes the Hebrew and Greek words used are put into English as “transgress”, “err”, “go astray”, “wicked”, and so on. That’s why is’t hard to get an accurate count.

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” Psalm 32:1-2

But why is looking at sin so important? I mean, after all, don’t we want to focus on grace?

Indubitably! But since sin is obviously an important issue to God, we’ll be addressing it here at DoNotDepart. It’s important for children of God to be aware of what the Bible has to say about sin because when we know, we can:

  1.  avoid it
  2.  repent when we do it
  3. seek forgiveness
  4. better realize all our precious Savior has done… and how great His love for us is!

Please join us this month as we look at sin from a Biblical perspective. We’ll talk about some common sins many Believers struggle with or have encountered, the remedy for sin, the sweet grace that covers it, and the encouragement and hope the Bible offers us in regards to it.

Ali

What does the Bible tell us about sin and grace? A new series at DoNotDepart. #OurSinsGodsGrace

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Where is God? {wrap up}

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Where is God when you suffer? A month long series at Do Not Depart.
The joy and freedom that come through Christ give great hope to believers. Yet while we walk out our journey on earth, we must daily deal with sin and brokenness. In this series we faced the pain head on, and asked Where is God?

Our team tackled topics that in some cases are rarely discussed in a Christian context:

Woven throughout all of our musings was this profound truth: God is present in the midst of our suffering. He never leaves us nor forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6). Thank you Lord!

Read all of the posts in our series #WhereIsGod

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Where is God in Mental Illness?

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Where is God in Mental Illness?
I’ll be honest: the topic of mental illness used to make me very uncomfortable. There wasn’t a tidy box for me to sort it into – was it spiritual, physical, or something else entirely? And as a young person, the idea that people were experiencing a completely different reality than my own was hard for me to process.

But as I matured, and more people I cared about began sharing their struggles with brain challenges, the question of mental illness became personal to me. I realized that I needed to dig in and try to come to a better understanding.

Why was this happening? How could I help the people I cared about? These were people who loved God, who prayed for deliverance from their illnesses, yet still they suffered. Where was God?

The Elephant in the Room

Official estimates of the rate of mental illness among Americans range from 18% to 30%. Simple math tells us that at every church service you or I attend, a sizable chunk of the people sitting in the seats with us are suffering in this area. Yet how often do believers even discuss the topic among ourselves, much less hear it addressed from the pulpit?

When I decided to write this post, I wanted to hear other Christians’ perspectives. I wrote a four question survey and posted the link to it on my personal Facebook wall, inviting those who live with mental illness, either themselves or in a loved one, to share. I was stunned by the number of responses I received.

It is clear that mental illness among believers is a tragically under-discussed topic. As children of a loving God Who calls us to compassion, we are obligated to love our brothers and sisters, no matter what their struggles are – including those we do not, and perhaps can not, fully understand. Talking openly about mental illness is a step in the right direction toward helping those who suffer feel less marginalized.

When Your Brain Betrays You

There are spiritual aspects to every area of our lives. As Christians, even when we make decisions about how we spend our money, what we do in our free time, or how we care for our bodies, we consider the spiritual component.

Yet we do not neglect the reality of the physical. And in the case of mental illness, there are almost always neurobiological and neurochemical issues at play.

Unfortunately, many well-meaning Christians approach mental illness purely from the spiritual side. They preach: pray more, find the sin in your life and get rid of it, deal with unforgiveness. While these are obviously things that every Christian needs to address, the implication that mental illness will be cured by being more holy ignores two important realities – none of us will ever be holy enough on our own for all of life’s challenges to vanish, and mental illness starts in the brain, an organ that can be damaged.

Think of it this way: if you broke your arm, you would go to the doctor to get it set. If you were diagnosed with cancer, you would undergo chemo. It just makes sense that we take care of our bodies with the resources available to us. Would you pray as well? Of course you would! And you would feel safe asking for prayer at church.

Yet with mental illness, not only do we expect fellow believers to be healed without medical assistance, we shame them to such an extent that they fear sharing their struggles within the church body, depriving them of much needed prayer.

One of the questions I asked in my survey was, “What do you wish other Christians knew about your mental health struggles?” Overwhelmingly the response was, “I did not choose this.”

Here are some other responses:

  • “It’s biologically driven and outside of my conscious control, it exists in me always and I do my best to stay healthy (mind and body) but like cancer or diabetes, there are times it controls me and the medical and personal interventions are not enough.”
  • “It’s not because I don’t pray or trust enough.”
  • “It is not satanic, it is not because I have not prayed hard enough or God’s punishment for some unconfessed or unrepentant sin or I am not cured because I do not pray properly. I did not do something to deserve this (nobody deserves this).”
  • “I wish they knew I wasn’t evil. When people hear about my struggles, they put on their best sad face and give a short speech about how God is in control and will make everything better and this is all for the best. But as well as they might hide their true feelings from themselves, their faces and actions show the truth. They clearly show either fear or disgust, sometimes both.”
  • “We aren’t failures. Don’t reject us. It doesn’t mean we are doomed to live this way always.”
  • “We are all human and subject to illness and dysfunction. We are all capable of bad behavior. We are all worthy of love and forgiveness.”

I thought this response was especially compelling:

“People, for the most part, really do prefer to be happy. They don’t choose to live in depression. Remember the brain is just another organ in the body and it works just the same as all the others. Chemical breakdowns in the body produce illness and we see that as a physical, medical issue. Chemical breakdowns in the brain are the same.

I’m blessed, I have good insurance, a good level of monetary provision, and am on an anti-depressant which is a replacement chemical that enables my serotonin receptors to work. Because the chemical problem in my body organ is fixed, I am able to NOW choose to be happy or not. I can control my thoughts because the physical brokenness is fixed.

Until the physical brain is fixed, people can not ‘just get over it.’ If you know someone with a mental illness or meet someone with one, please be as gentle and respectful as you would with someone who had heart problems.”

A Christian Approach to Mental Illness

So what do we do? How do those who suffer and those who care about them approach the problem of mental illness from a Christian perspective?

Many believers who struggle with mental illness told me that they find comfort in God’s Word.

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. Psalm‬ ‭94:19‬ ‭

One woman shared that “My mind must be renewed with the Word of God every day.” Another person explained that scripture helps her to properly assess her feelings: “Because I have the wisdom in the Bible I am able to stop and ask myself in various situations, ‘Is this true?’”

Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. John 17:17

Many sufferers also find prayer essential to daily coping.

  • “I find myself turning to prayer more frequently. I know God loves us all and is fighting for us. I know I am never alone. I have hope.”
  • “Praying helps. It stops the racing thoughts and focuses on something else other then my worry.”
  • “In this battle prayer is my weapon, and the prayers of many are a mighty force.”

What about demons? Some Christians argue that all mental illness is spiritual. There are a number of examples of Jesus delivering people from demons in the Bible (such as in Mark 5:1-20 and Luke 4:41). Most believers will agree that there are sometimes cases where a problem is completely spiritual in nature. Yet clearly not all illnesses are, as evidence by this passage:

And he healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons. Mark 1:34 a

As one Christian psychiatrist said, “If mental disorders are the result of demonic activity, then why do the symptoms almost always disappear when treated with the right drugs?”

More than anything, what sufferers want from other Christians is compassion.

Bear one another’s burdens. Galatians 6:2

As one woman wrote, “I need more hugs than most, more affirmation, more acceptance. I don’t like that, but I need it. It’s HARD to ask for help.”

God provides comfort through others. Paul himself wrote of being comforted by the arrival of Titus:

But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus. ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭7:6 (nasb)‬ ‭

We were made to need one another!

Often forgotten in the discussion about mental illness is the toll that these challenges take on the people closest to the sufferer. The stress that results from coming alongside a loved one in pain is very real, and feeling helpless in the face of illness is heartbreaking.

I invited family and friends of those with mental illness to respond to my questions as well. The one commonality between the response from caregivers was when I asked if God had brought any blessings out of their experience. The blessing they saw was that loving someone with mental illness had caused them to become more compassionate – precisely the need that most sufferers expressed. Isn’t it beautiful how God works, even in the darkest places of pain?

Can God cure mental illness? Of course He can. There is no limit to what God can do, and in fact several people wrote in the questionnaire that they had been healed. But God has a different plan for each person. Paul was affected by something he referred to as his “thorn.” He prayed for God to take it away, but that was not God’s will for Paul’s life.

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

The Lord used Paul’s “thorn” to grow him in dependence on His grace.

Where is God in Mental Illness?

So where is God in all of this? Those who shared with me said:

  • “Source of peace.”
  • “Strength and hope.”
  • “He has a plan for my life. This is one part. The journey to Him isn’t a straight, easy path.”
  • “My faith encourages me to keep going, I am not alone.”
  • “He is my rock and my focus point when I’m in great pain. He is my shoulder for when the times are hard no one gets ‘it’.”
  • “I pray for clear head and calm heart often. It helps.”
  • “I believe the Lord is teaching me about reliance on Him.”
  • “When I am panicking or immobilized in fear, I have God’s promises from the Bible to get me through. But without my anti-depressant, I can’t recall or believe the promises.”

I also asked “Are there any ways God has used mental health issues as a blessing in your life?” This was a harder question for most to answer, and that difficulty underscores to me how deeply painful this struggle is. One person put it well: “Of course, but I don’t see/know it yet :)”

Here are some blessings that respondents shared:

  • “Hitting rock bottom with my mental health forced me to realize that I didn’t really know or rely upon Him – my faith was weak, and often, truly, I was worshipping something other than Christ. So it’s a huge blessing in that it brought me to the foot of the throne, and showed me that He really is the only way. But it was a big price.”
  • “A deeper sensitivity and compassion to those who suffer.”
  • “Yes, I stopped being afraid of people with mental illness. I never would have chosen this but I am thankful for what I have learned.”
  • “I have been blessed with a very dear friend who has gone through similar issues and we have been able to support each other in (some) bad times.”

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Loving Those Who Suffer

Followers of Jesus have not signed on for a magic carpet ride. If someone tells you that all your problems are due to sin in your life, just point to the book of Job. We serve a great big God, but we are still in a broken world while we are this side of heaven.

Jesus Christ gave everything for us, and if we are going to grow to be more like Him, we must grow in our willingness to give of ourselves. I did not want to step out of my comfort zone and try to understand mental illness and those who suffer from it, until people I love were impacted. That was my selfishness, and sadly, it is mirrored in churches everywhere.

Not a single person who answered my survey volunteered to have the condition they live with. They want to be delivered of it! Living with a mental illness is incredibly difficult, both for the person who has it and those who love them. So yes, this means that if you step into the life of someone with mental illness you open yourself to challenges.

But “Love one another” has no caveats. Truly loving is the simplest and the hardest and the most valuable thing any of us will ever do. Loving those who suffer means allowing Christ to work through you in a practical yet profound way.

I feel strongly that this is a topic that needs to be more widely discussed, and as such I feel led to continue writing about it. If you have experienced mental illness in your own life, or in someone close to you, I invite you to share your thoughts in this questionnaire.You can also share in the comments on this post.

(Please understand: I am not a mental health professional. I am a sister in Christ who loves people who live with mental illness. My understanding of the realities of mental illness, from both the physical and spiritual perspectives, continues to grow and mature, but I know I have plenty to learn. What I have shared in this post are my thoughts at this time in my life, and the thoughts of those brave enough to respond to my questionnaire. I welcome your feedback.)

The elephant in the room: Christianity and mental illness. #WhereIsGod

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Are you a Christian who lives with mental illness? Share your story. #WhereIsGod

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A Christian approach to mental illness. #WhereIsGod

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Where is God? series at DoNotDepart.com

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